#1156 After Dark: Irish Goodbye

March 27, 2024Scott Benner

Katherine was diagnosed with type 1 at seven years old and felt extremely isolated. WARNING: Self harm is mentioned.

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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1156 of the Juicebox Podcast

Welcome back this is another episode in the after dark series Kate was diagnosed with type one diabetes when she was seven. She is now 38. In my notes to myself, I described Kate's parents as unpleasant. You're going to hear all about it. Kate felt isolated as a child she suffered from depression and there is much more to her story. There's also mentions of self harm, so please be aware. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. When you place your first order for ag one with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink ag one.com/juice box type one diabetes research needs you t one D exchange.org/juice box US residents only you can be a type one or the caregiver of one. The survey will take you about 10 minutes you're very much going to help people with type one diabetes likely going to help yourself and definitely going to help me t one D exchange.org/juicebox. Go take that survey please this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next one.com/juicebox. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by us med U S med.com/juice box or call 888721151 for us med is where my daughter gets her diabetes supplies from and you could to use the link or number to get your free benefit check and get started today with us MIT. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM and implantable six month sensor is what you get with ever since. But you get so much more exceptional and consistent accuracy over six months, and distinct on body vibe alerts when you're high or low on body vibe alerts. You don't even know what that means. Do you ever since cgm.com/juicebox Go find out

Kate 2:37
I am kit. I am from Northern Ireland and I have been diabetic for 31 and a half years give or take.

Scott Benner 2:46
How old are you? Okay.

Kate 2:49
I want you to mine. I'm 31.

Scott Benner 2:52
Well, so you were just seven? Well, you were diagnosed. I was Wow. That's crazy. That's a long time ago to in the 90s

Kate 2:58
is a long time. Yeah. 92.

Scott Benner 3:02
I'm just going to put this in here for everybody listening. Kate is in Northern Ireland. I am in New Jersey. And we're having the tiniest bit of gap in when we're talking. So we're going to try not to talk over each other. But if you hear that once in a while we're doing our best. Ireland needs better internet. I don't know.

Kate 3:21
I mean, it does.

Scott Benner 3:22
Okay, that's a fair statement. Okay, so what do you remember about being diagnosed at seven?

Kate 3:29
It seems like there was some sort of magic going on. The word diabetes cropped up about 40 times that day, like we turned the radio on, and it was saying diabetes or diabetic disease, things like this. My parents are both medical. My mom actually worked in the Children's Hospital, not in any way related to diabetes. So I think we caught my transition very early.

Scott Benner 3:57
Okay, so you're have family members, your parents who are in the medical field, and you're just hearing ads and stuff like that the word diabetes is coming up a lot that day. But were you having any symptoms.

Kate 4:11
I had a couple of weeks of very rapid weight loss. My parents really struggled to get any kind of fluids into me and I had drunk like seven glasses of orange juice with breakfast and asked for water three or four times in the day and like that's definitely not right. And I had thrown it thrown up in my sleep a couple of times. Well, that's fun. So they knew something was definitely not correct. And my mom took a urine sample into the hospital and just left it on the counter for one of the doctors to walk past and someone walked fast and lifted it and whose is that? They need to come in immediately. What was that? That's case. So we were rushed down to the hospital. It was about it. I think it was eight o'clock on a Thursday night. To be introduced to doctors and nurses that my mother knew personally, but that I didn't know and have my blood sugar tick, and my blood sugar was 43. Which I'm not entirely sure what that is, in fact, I'm not entirely sure the conversion chart that I have goes up. But Hi,

Scott Benner 5:22
I have let's see, I have a great conversion chart on the podcast website, which somebody from the one of the listeners made, and it's actually really terrific. I'm gonna look real quick for you. 774 I have it as that's a pretty big number. Yeah, so So your mom just kind of like used?

Kate 5:43
I was quite belligerent.

Scott Benner 5:47
You were belligerent as a child, because your budget was so high.

Kate 5:51
What will go with that?

Scott Benner 5:56
Sure, why not? So your mom uses her ends at the hospital to get your your urine looked at? I'm assuming they take you in how long? Were you at the hospital? Do you remember any of that?

Kate 6:05
I think I was in for a week. And I probably didn't need to be there that long. But it was a week before I would let anyone else inject me. I took my own injection from like the morning after I was admitted. And wouldn't let anyone else near me with a needle for a week. So they couldn't let me go home until at least one of my parents had given me an injection. So that was a week later. That's there's a cat in this room somewhere.

Scott Benner 6:39
I mean, is it your cat? Well, I mean, I guess that's fine. That the way you just turned around, I was like, there's the cat. She doesn't expect the in the room all of a sudden. Is there any other type one in your family on your mom or dad's side?

Kate 6:53
I have a second cousin on my mom's side. So my mom's cousin's daughter is a type one. And we have a number of type twos. My mum had as arthritis. So I'm not sure if it's the type that would be relevant.

Scott Benner 7:15
Without Hashimotos celiac? No

Kate 7:18
Hashimotos or celiac. My mom definitely has an underactive thyroid. Okay. And other than that, not that much anything that I'm aware of,

Scott Benner 7:29
is your mom take medication for the thyroid? She does. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, what was it like growing up in Ireland with diabetes?

Kate 7:41
When I was diagnosed, it was, it seemed to be not common. I have never really known very many other people with type one. I did go to like a children's summer camp for diabetics twice. When I was little, I think when I was eight, and when I was either nine or 10. And then, as far as I'm aware of those camps stopped running, because the person who was instrumental in running them was assassinated by the IRA. You don't hear that every day. We're Excellent. Sorry. I have. It does seem ridiculous and even seems ridiculous to us. Because it's like, it's been a long time. I'm from the troubles were the troubles

Scott Benner 8:29
Catherine their murder had nothing to do with diabetes, I assume? No,

Kate 8:33
no. Okay. It was to do with it has to do with his day job. That's, that's crazy, which, you know, was, was not in any way related to any kind of sectarian goings on. He just worked for the wrong company.

Scott Benner 8:51
So for all of you who don't like living in America, you could live in Ireland where you'll get shot for reasons I don't know. And your internet, it's gonna suck.

Kate 9:00
I have. I have family who grew up in Saudi Arabia who were scared to come and visit us here. So

Scott Benner 9:10
listen, I'm making assertions. And the only thing I used to know about Irish and something else is I hear I'll tell you something. I met my wife. And then I met her family. And I noted that her sister would leave a gathering. I always teased it was like the Lone Ranger. Like she was there one second, and then she was just gone. But I've been told since then, it's called the Irish goodbye. Just is that. Is that a real thing? Have you ever heard that?

Kate 9:44
I have heard that. But I don't think it's like a common usage.

Scott Benner 9:49
I don't think it's one thing a lot of people say. They don't say goodbye. They just boom, they're gone. Right? Yeah, you're diagnosed at seven And, you know, you come home. Now you're gonna grow up with diabetes. Tell me about that a little bit. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the only CGM you can take off to get into the shower. The ever since CGM ever since cgm.com/juicebox. Well, I mean sure you could take the other ones off, but then you'd waste the sensor and have to start over again. But not with ever since ever since is a six month where implantable CGM. So if you want to take a shower without anything hanging on, you pop off the transmitter, jump in the shower, when you get back out, put it back on, and you're right back to where you started. Come to think of it. You could do that whenever you wanted to. Maybe it was your prom night or your wedding day. Maybe you just don't want the thing on for a little while. But you don't want to go through the hassle of taking it off and having to restart it and you know, starting back over with like wonky numbers and having you know all that that goes with it when you take off a CGM and put it back on Oh, but you don't have to do that with the Eversense CGM. Because ever since is the only long term CGM with six months of real time glucose readings. This gives you more confidence, more convenience and flexibility. The Eversense CGM is there for you when you want discretion, a break. Or maybe just a little adult time ever since cgm.com/juicebox. Podcast transmitter off, pop it back on you're right back where you started without any wasted devices, or time. I'm starting to take it for granted. I am I'm starting to take for granted that Ardens diabetes supplies just show up. But they do because of us med us med.com/juice box we get an email that says you know do you want to refill your order? And you click and say yes. And then it just comes to the door? There's not a lot to say when things are done well yeah, I could stand here and tell you us med carries Omnipod five Omnipod dash Dexcom g7 G six tandem x two libre three libre two I mean, they've got there's so much I'm not even listening at all. I should be I will at the end. I promise. My point is this. It just works. And we don't talk about things enough when they just work us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get your free benefits check and get started today with the white glove treatment offered by us med us med here's what they got. FreeStyle Libre three and two. They got it. Omni pod dash Yes. Omni pod five, aha. Tandem. Yep. What about have they served a million people with diabetes since 1996. They have better service and better care is what you're going to get from us med but you're also going to get 90 days worth of supplies, and fast and free shipping. They carry everything from insulin pumps to diabetes testing supplies, the latest CGM, and they accept Medicare nationwide. Find out why us med has an A plus rating with the Better Business Bureau at us med.com/juice box or call 888721151 For contour next one.com/juice box that's the link you'll use. To find out more about the contour next gen blood glucose meter. When you get there, there's a little bit at the top, you can click right on blood glucose monitoring, I'll do it with you go to meters, click on any of the meters. I'll click on the Next Gen. And you're going to get more information. It's easy to use and highly accurate. Smart light provides a simple understanding of your blood glucose levels. And of course, with Second Chance sampling technology, you can save money with fewer wasted test strips. As if all that wasn't enough. The contour next gen also has a compatible app for an easy way to share and see your blood glucose results. Contour next one.com/juicebox And if you scroll down at that link, you're gonna see things like a Buy Now button. You could register your meter after you purchase it or what is this download a coupon? Oh, receive a free Contour. Next One blood glucose meter. Do tell contour next one.com/juicebox head over there now get the same accurate and reliable meter that we use.

Kate 14:31
Both my parents were fairly career driven so they weren't around most of the time. And I spent most of my time with older people, grandparent, an aunt and uncle and I don't have any family members really close to my age. And I was the only the only diabetic I knew. I have the second cousin on my mom's side who is also a type one but I think I've met her twice. They don't live far away, but it's far enough away that I've been presented with a coffee. Oh, me.

Scott Benner 15:10
What just happened? But

Kate 15:13
my husband thinks he's funny. Oh,

Scott Benner 15:15
you should look for a different husband

Kate 15:21
claiming to be kept prisoner?

Scott Benner 15:25
Listen, I'm also claiming that for anybody who's listening, somebody can come get me. I think I'm being kept by, against my will to. Okay, so nobody's around you even the people you know are far away, you don't or aren't far away, but you don't see them very frequently. does that leave you feeling isolated?

Kate 15:44
It does quite a bit. And of the people that I knew of my own age, they only knew of diabetes from like, older relatives who have diabetes, or pets who had diabetes, I have been subjected to that I know exactly what you're going through because my dog has diabetes. Oh, concrete.

Scott Benner 16:08
Exactly the same. How do you respond to that?

Kate 16:12
Usually, you're smiling and nodding situation. You come across this conversation at times where someone is saying, Oh, I used to have type two diabetes, but now it's type one, because they've put me on insulin. And you're like, you have it and you don't even understand what it is very

Scott Benner 16:28
common. Katherine, the next time someone says to you, any of you can use this. I know how you feel my dog has diabetes, you can say, Oh, I work for Sal, I know how your dog feels like. They can follow that along quickly enough. I'm sure you can slip it in, no one would even notice. So does that isolation lead to anything because you have a list here of things to talk about that goes through mental health, self harming complications, you know, and I'm wondering what led you in that direction,

Kate 16:58
I feel I didn't really feel like I had anyone to talk to about it. For whatever reason, I felt that it would be better if I had, what I was going through emotionally, as much as possible if I had what I was going through physically. So I would pretend to have recovered from a hypo, before I had really recovered from a Hypo. Or I got very good at hiding symptoms of high blood sugars and low blood sugars, I would avoid taking my blood sugar as often as possible. Because there was quite a lot of guilt attached to any blood sugar that wasn't perfectly within normal range. Like you would possibly a sign of the times, because it's 30 years ago. But if it was not within normal range, it would be because I had done something wrong. Or I wasn't managing it properly. I wasn't looking after my diabetes properly. So I just avoided sharing what my blood sugar was as much as possible. Okay. And I was a very limited, I'm very much a people person, I was very little child. So when I got the opportunity to go to boarding school I left. So I stopped living at home with my parents when I was 11, which I can't imagine a lot of diabetics get an opportunity to do. My mom had to give a lecture to all the boarding school staff, and then electorate, all the teachers at the school so that I could go and be in boarding and then I would only come home at the weekends. So I had a lot more freedom to miss manage my diabetes.

Scott Benner 18:42
So that was what I was going to ask you did you use that freedom to take excellent care of yourself, or to ignore it further?

Kate 18:49
I would say initially, I was quite strict with myself about managing it. For the first years when I was in like a mixed dorm, they kept my insulin in a locked cupboard in sickbay. And I had to have a member of staff go with me to get my insulin out and take my insulin, which I find like the grossest invasion of all, some member of staff would be coming into your room going, are you ready to come with me? Please.

Scott Benner 19:21
Now, I can't do this by myself. But you're 11 though. So that really that really caters The interesting thing because elevens too young, you've only had it for three or four years. You're not doing well to begin with. It's not like it's not like at home. Everything was going terrific. So now you're taking the did

Kate 19:37
your parents, I would set my HPA once he was probably pretty good. At that stage. I had a bit of a wobble when I came to the end of my honeymoon periods. And it took us a little while to work out that oh, she literally just needs more insulin. That's what this is because I couldn't understand why it was suddenly high all the time. My diet was very strictly regimented. I did I started off as a diabetic at the time when it was like, Well, you take this much insulin at this time, and you eat this much. Yeah, no matter what's going on, if you're at a birthday party, you can still only eat this much. If you feel sick, and you don't want to eat, you still have to eat this much needed at that time. And it doesn't matter what time the party is, at that time, you have to eat off you go, Oh, it was very strictly controlled. And a lot of high, I manage day to day was about finding a way to be at a certain place at a certain time, because that's when I needed to take my insulin, okay, and that I needed to

Scott Benner 20:35
eat. So you would consider from seven to 11, well controlled with your mom's help, or were you doing it on your own. With

Kate 20:42
mom's help? Well control, I would have been more or less counting my carbs by myself from that period on. And as my parents were at work all day. So I would have been kind to my own carbs through the day as well. I got quite, because you were so restricted in what you were allowed to eat, it wasn't as difficult as it would be, I feel naive for a child trying to count a different amount of carbohydrate every day and try and work out a dose or program, a pump. To give the right amount of insulin, you were just like, well, you know, if you're really stuck up for digestive biscuits, and that's exactly the right amount of carbohydrate.

Scott Benner 21:31
And so when you do, can you look back and say, Were you set up for failure leaving? Did you really know what you were doing on your own? No,

Kate 21:41
but there was less to know, because you weren't adjusting your doses, you were just taking the same amount every day at the same time. And if it went wrong, it was either because you had exercised shortly after taking insulin, or you had eaten too much or too little. And

Scott Benner 22:02
so as much as there was not a lot of, there wasn't really a lot of a lot to do for you. But you still didn't do it. When you got there like or you did it. And then it kind of waned as you were there.

Kate 22:15
When it wind over, like over puberty. And shortly thereafter when I was like in my annoying teens, it became a kind of rebellion. Alright, it's like, well, I hit my diabetes, so I'm not going to give it any attention. Okay,

Scott Benner 22:33
when did you start having complications?

Kate 22:37
I do have slow digestion. And I have had it described as nerve damage. But I know I had symptoms of that at 13. So I don't know how accurate it is to describe that as a complication, I would say my mid 20s, I started to have issues with my eyes, I got a bad result of routine diabetes eye screening, which we get basically forced to go to once a year in the UK, so that would be arranged. And you'll just be sent a letter go to the screening. And I got a bad result of one of those. And it happened to me around about the time. My ex partner and I were looking to get ready to move from Northern Ireland back to England, which is where he's from. And I had discharged myself from the hospital, and then we decided we weren't going they wouldn't take me back.

Scott Benner 23:43
They wouldn't take you back told me about that. It became

Kate 23:49
it became a whole ordeal. And took, I think a year and a half until eventually I had to just go back to the routine ice screening to get put back on the list to see the specialist about my retinopathy. Because they couldn't put me back into a list after removing me from it. There was a lot of faffing about and then we were back to the bottom of the list. Okay. From I did eventually get back into it. It's not a macular problem, but it is the macular clinic that I attend. I'm usually the youngest person there by about 30 years. I've had six lots of laser surgery to correct the retinopathy. The first surgery didn't go very well because I am extremely photo phobic. And if I look at a bright light, my eyes just clump shut. So the first thought of surgery did not go well at all. And every time thereafter I have had a local anesthetic for the laser surgery which I would not recommend.

Scott Benner 24:50
That's just to keep you a little dopey so you can't close your eyes. It's to

Kate 24:54
numb the nerves for your eye. So you do go to Line temporarily while your eyes and asymptotic G's rich. They're very poor at explaining things to patients here on like aftercare kind of brushed over. So the first thing that they'll ask you to do is to hold your eyes still while they put a needle up your tear duct. Okay, which is not great fun.

Scott Benner 25:25
Okay, I feel like I just got kicked in the balls in case you're wondering how it's going over here. Really? Jesus, very unpleasant.

Kate 25:38
Doctor said follow me and left the room. And I got about three steps that I can't see. And then you have this momentary panic? Oh, maybe I'm supposed to be able to see and something's gone horribly wrong here. I can you help me? Kate,

Scott Benner 25:57
I wouldn't let anybody stick a needle in my eye in a country that couldn't figure out the internet. What do you think of that?

Kate 26:07
What's the alternative?

Scott Benner 26:08
I don't know. I have no idea. What country is to your left?

Kate 26:16
It does become your you're on your own? Yeah. You kind of have to just pick a person to trust doing the things that you can't do yourself. And aside from that you're on your own. Yeah, I feel that. You can't necessarily. Definitely not going to mention any of them. So you can't necessarily just trust what you're told at the diabetic clinic? Because they're going to tell you to eat

Scott Benner 26:41
loads of carbs. Yeah. And I'll tell you how to use your insulin. No,

Kate 26:47
not if you're concerned about your weight, and I'm particularly interested in your weight. They're only concerned about your blood sugar beet staple. There is absolutely no hope in hell, my blood sugar would be stable, no matter what I was doing. If I was eating the amount of carbohydrate recommended. Yeah, that became even more ludicrous. While I was pregnant. Where I was told by one dietitian, I should be eating 270 grams of carbohydrate a day for the baby. Like while I was pregnant, but obviously keeping my blood sugar under eight.

Scott Benner 27:24
Okay, 201 270 270

Kate 27:28
grams.

Scott Benner 27:32
I mean, this is just the Google. But how many carbs? Should a pregnant woman eat a day? Institute of Medicine recommends 175 grams of carbs intake during pregnancy. However, many women are consuming lower carbohydrate diets within pregnancy, improving for glycemic control. Yeah, I mean, I don't think 200 Like it's not a rule. That's for sure. Not I mean,

Kate 27:54
I think I put the phone down on her. And just putting in by Tom to see what it says. So to Bolus for that I would need 45 units of insulin. Yeah. And,

Scott Benner 28:07
yeah, I mean, just in general, like I don't understand eating more than you need. I understand eating what you need, etc. But, I mean, that's not like, here's my point, if somebody said to you eat 200 grams of carbs even. But here's where I want you to get them get this much from vegetables, get this much from here get that's, you know, maybe, okay, whatever. But when you just give people a number, they're not nutritionists, they're just gonna start looking at things and eating whatever they have until they get to the number. It's just it's an incomplete way of making your point is what what I find upsetting. They

Kate 28:42
seem to be very concerned with low blood sugar during pregnancy. And I have not heard an explanation as to why not that I was attempting to set with my blood sugar at 3.5 throughout my pregnancy. But if if my Libra was reading 4.5, then a blood test probably would have been five, I was not concerned about a blood sugar 4.5 for blood sugar. 4.5 is normal. For a normal person. They were freaking out.

Scott Benner 29:22
Yeah, I mean, a 4.5 is 81. Yeah, that seems reasonable. It's very low, I would think. I don't know. I just think nobody knows what they're talking about, generally speaking, and it's fun to know that it exists in other countries as well, not just in America. I

Kate 29:37
think it is a very dangerous thing. Because I have one or two people. I wouldn't necessarily call them friends. There are one or two people that I know vaguely, because I happen to get my pump on the same day and we were in the same class learning how to use our Medtronic pumps. And one of the girls Girls that was in the class at the same day as me had recently had her first baby. And I when I fell pregnant, I had texted her and said, How did you keep your blood sugar under control, particularly after meals with the amount of carbohydrate? They're asking us to eat? And she replied and said, I just did a low carb diet and lied to the hospital.

Scott Benner 30:21
Oh, there you go. Perfect. Yeah, that's what you want. That's where the advice was leading her. You know, she's like, I can't do this. And I can't argue with them. So I'll just do my own thing and not tell anybody. Yeah. Okay. All right. So the baby came out. Okay.

Kate 30:38
Her baby did. Yes. We, we lost our baby, actually a year ago today.

Scott Benner 30:43
Oh, my gosh, wait, I'm sorry. Okay, so this is during the pregnancy.

Kate 30:49
During the pregnancy, I had contacted her for advice, because I think I have my certainly for the earlier part of the day, from getting up in the morning until about three in the afternoon. I had my pump on 200% or more of my normal daily dosage to try and keep it at a reasonable level. And I was eating very little carbohydrate.

Scott Benner 31:11
What did they tell you what they thought happened to the baby? They

Kate 31:15
did do some investigation afterwards, but they weren't able to find anything conclusive.

Scott Benner 31:20
How far along? How far along? Were you?

Kate 31:22
We were 12 weeks.

Scott Benner 31:24
I'm sorry. Do you? Was that your first try? It was our first try. Do you think you'll try again?

Kate 31:33
I think we're just about to get into that this night, where we'd be ready to try again. But you know, we're both a little bit older for first time parents. Yeah, I'm a little wary of needing any kind of assistance, because I'm almost at the age in this country where they wouldn't allow you to have assistance unless you were going to pay for it privately. I think 42 is the cut off? What kind of assistance IVF treatment?

Scott Benner 32:05
Did you have trouble getting pregnant? The first time were you trying for a while? Not at all? Your poor husband.

Kate 32:15
We got married last year on the fourth of May. Because we're nerds. I think I started my period two days later, which would have been the sixth of May. And on the 17th of June, we had a positive pregnancy test. Wow. Quick work and all seem to line up very nicely. My diabetic anniversary was alright you did. I was pregnant at the same time as my cousin. And very strong pregnancy symptoms. Everything seemed to be going extremely well. But a private scam because the shifts My husband works on he was never going to be able to come to the hospital with me. So we had booked a private scan so that he will be able to see and then we went to the scan. There was nobody in there.

Scott Benner 33:03
That was it. Just like that. Yep. Oh my gosh, that's terrible. I'm sorry. needed

Kate 33:09
quite a lot of assistance to end the pregnancy then which took from ours down. Just look at my diary. are scams on the 20th of August. And the 29th of August, which was the was a bank holiday Monday last year, which was a year ago today. We were in the hospital having surgical intervention.

Scott Benner 33:37
Nine days before the procedure. Yeah.

Kate 33:42
I was frantically emailing the hospital. But our scam was on a Saturday. And Sunday I was frantically emailing the hospital. I was supposed to have an appointment, which they call the booking appointment here and a scam on the Tuesday following the scam where we find out the baby wasn't there anymore. And asking was I still expected to come to this appointment on the Tuesday did they want I really did not want to be in the hospital surrounded by heavily pregnant women. I really didn't want to have to do it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 34:17
No. I mean, I can't imagine what I understand.

Kate 34:22
Or is there a different appointment I should come to and they told me to come the following day, which was the Wednesday and I could bring someone with me probably was working so I took my mum. And it's always good to have a second pair of ears when you're in shock. And they give me hormone suppressants that day. And then tablets to take which I took on the Friday and I'd arranged to just be off work and spend the day with my parents on the Friday when I took the tablets and things started to happen. Mainly a lot of pain started to happen on the Friday, and just got worse and worse as the day progressed, and nothing else seemed to be happening. And the following day, the pen continued and nothing else seemed to be happening. On the Sunday, we had a family barbecue planned because we were, we had initially planned to tell the whole family we were pregnant at this barbecue. My cousin had just had her baby. And it was his first, I think, to meet the family. Time and it's like a Greek tragedy. So I have my cousin texted me saying, Do you want us to not come? And I'm like, no, please, I'm like, I need something happy, please come, please come and please bring the baby. And you know, we will let on to family what had happened. And just carried on with the barbecue. And every now and again, I had to go and sort of put my elbows in the sink and close my eyes and go, Oh, this is painful. And at some point, the hospital rang to say, well, is everything for rest, as it sure did everything over like No, not at all. No, we're

Scott Benner 36:15
just at a barbecue. Everything's everything's the same. Thanks for asking. How did you deal with all this? Because in your notes, you talking also about? I mean, like I said earlier, like you wanted to talk about mental health and self harm, like how do you? Is that a thing you've left in the past? Is that something you're dealing with now? And if so, how does it intertwined with all this?

Kate 36:34
I wouldn't say it's entirely my mental health problems are entirely gone. But I am in such a better place. And I have an excellent support system, my husband, who was claiming to be kept here against as well. It's amazing. Certainly in comparison to anything I have had before. He is willing to do things that I would never have asked another person to do. He has my blood sugars coming through on his phone. He's checking up on me, he's reading things. He knows what's going on. And that may not sound like something that you wouldn't expect from a partner, but it's not something that I've had before. Okay. And I think particularly in a relationship that you're starting later, I mean, dating in your mid 30s. Isn't? I wouldn't recommend it. The last time I was dating, there were no smartphones.

Scott Benner 37:40
Oh, you were with somebody for a long time before recently. 15 year? Oh, my gosh, where are you married?

Kate 37:48
We're married just over a year. We were married for somebody last year. To the previous partner. No, no,

Scott Benner 37:54
the previous partner? No. Okay. But you were together for that long.

Kate 37:57
We were together from university. Wow. That's

Scott Benner 38:01
interesting. And was that an unexpected breakup?

Kate 38:04
It was unexpected to me. Not to him. No, no, not to him.

Scott Benner 38:11
Is the Irish Did you just leave and not say anything?

Kate 38:14
No, he didn't. He from Yorkshire. In England, he, he actually moved here with me. In what 2009 I had lost both my grandparents on my mom's side in quick succession and decided I needed to be home for a while. And we agreed that we would move back here for a year. And then he got a really good job. And we just stayed. And we were here for a long time. He owns property here.

Scott Benner 38:47
I don't need a ton of details. But I was just wondering like it just like it ended abruptly for you. And I didn't

Kate 38:55
know no one was saying about Greek tragedies. My diabetes has been poorly controlled. I have put a lot of work into getting it back to a reasonable place. I would still like to improve my control. But I would say it's at a reasonable place. When I go into the diabetic clinic, they're more interested in telling me it's the best graph they've seen today than improving. Were my controls out at the moment. But I spent I want to say six seven years attending the free pregnancy clinic or hospital trying to get my my diabetes control to a place where they were going to give me permission to try and get pregnant and the morning that they have my appointment and they told me I could get pregnant whenever I wanted was the morning that we broke up.

Scott Benner 39:52
Oh perfect. After seven years of trying what were your blood sugar's outcomes a once he's like Prior to going to that class and getting yourself down and what helped you get to a place where you could get pregnant? To

Kate 40:07
be honest, a lot of it was the Juicebox. Podcast. It's worse my HB one C was 13.9, which is 120. I believe.

Scott Benner 40:22
Are you looking? Yeah, okay, I was gonna say I can't tell when I lose you or when you're doing a one C? Of what a one C of what? Mine?

Kate 40:34
It was 13.9. I think that's 128.

Scott Benner 40:39
Well, 13.9 is an average blood sugar of 352. Or an average blood sugar for you of 19.6. Does that sound about where you are?

Kate 40:53
I want to say yes, but it would have required me to be testing it more often.

Scott Benner 40:59
So you wouldn't have known to begin with so you're not testing, you're not using enough insulin, you don't functionally understand what you're doing. You're with this guy, you decide you want to have a baby, you go to the clinic, where they're going to help you get blood sugar's like, quote unquote, where you need to be for for pregnancy. But that takes six or seven years to accomplish. When you accomplish it. That guy leaves. And but you didn't accomplish it really through the classes. You found the podcast, when did you find the podcast? When did the podcast start? 2015

Kate 41:32
I don't think it was maybe 2016.

Scott Benner 41:37
So you're listening, but you're still not completely focused on your management, or it took you that long to get it together. Oh,

Kate 41:45
it took me that long. Okay. I completely avoided talking to my parents about my diabetes control for years. And I remember coming out of the hospital and ringing them to tell them that my HPA once he was in single figures, because it was 9.9.

Scott Benner 42:02
And everybody was like way to go

Kate 42:04
mentally. And they were horrified. And I got my first I was given my first Libra sensor, like a drug dealer would give you a free sample of something. Here, try this FreeStyle Libre sensor that will track your blood sugars. And I think I'd had it on. I think I got it on a Thursday, and I had it on Thursday night Friday. And on Saturday, I went for a run. And then for a swim and it fell off. And I already knew I couldn't do without it from having it on for 40. At

Scott Benner 42:41
work, they hooked your quick. Yeah.

Kate 42:45
At that time, it wasn't available on the NHS. So I self funded that for two years. And I get it on prescription.

Scott Benner 42:54
Is that something you could have afforded? Or it was just it meant enough to you that you made adjustments to your finances? If

Kate 43:01
it meant enough that I made adjustments? I didn't really have any money to do anything else? Gotcha. So it was a bite, where they were 50 Ponds around 50 ponds, and they last for two weeks. So just over 100 pounds a month. And I was I was earning minimum wage at the time. So it was a considerable portion of had to cut out a lot of things to be able to afford it. But I

Scott Benner 43:29
have 100 pounds as about 126 American dollars for people understand what interested okay, there's no doubt how valuable that information is. So if so, is it really the podcast? Or was it just being able to see your blood sugar that helped you and

Kate 43:43
same as being able to see my blood sugar definitely helped. But I'd already made a lot of progress. Oh, from listening to the podcast and you know, kind of getting a grip on myself and testing my blood sugar again. When my HPA once he was 13.9. I was also referred to the clinical psychologist, which was immensely helpful. And I still see the clinical psychologist, I certainly don't see them on any kind of a regular basis. I have you because it's a chronic illness clinic you will not be discharged from it. But I am no longer given sheduled appointments. I will just contact them if I need to talk about something but

Scott Benner 44:31
speaking speaking to that psychologist helped you to what what were you not? What was not happening that was happening after you had those conversations? I

Kate 44:45
had depression and generalized anxiety. Okay, he level my HB one C was at has been referred to as suicidal by a number of clinical professionals. To me and And

Scott Benner 45:00
did it feel that way to you, Catherine, did you feel like you were trying to hurt yourself?

Kate 45:03
I certainly was having a lot of thoughts about life not being worth living. Okay? Because I think I was 30 I turned 30. And I was driving to work. And thinking about what my options were a finding a way that I could work from home, because I didn't think I was going to be physically able to continue going to work every day, because my health was so bad. I have been diagnosed with nephropathy around the same time, and I was on a number of medications to combat the nephropathy and my high blood pressure, which at one point was something like 270, over 180 G's

Scott Benner 45:52
really,

Kate 45:54
I thought I was gonna have a stroke. Yeah. And so one of the medications that they gave me to combat, I had really horrific reactions to I had fairly bad edema. I couldn't breathe. I was having fainting and dizzy spells, I had cysts in my joints, it was pretty grim. And they just kept bringing me back for blood tests, which were inconclusive. And it wasn't. We went on a holiday to stay in which I was in so much pain, I could hardly walk. And that week, we were in Spain. And the Spanish healthcare system is excellent. And my parents took me down to like the local clinic and their local time, and I had like a full speck of bloods done. And we went and got the results the next day, and the Spanish doctor came out to me with the page and pointed to the medication on my list of things I was taking and said, There is your problem.

Scott Benner 46:55
You're just taking so many so many different medications. And

Kate 46:59
it was that one in particular is apparently known for Oh, having quite a nasty spectrum of side effects. I stopped taking it and those symptoms had gone away within two weeks.

Scott Benner 47:13
Jesus really how long were they going on for? I

Kate 47:17
was taking it for a year. And prior to that I've been taking a different one, which was an ACE inhibitor, which gave me a cough like croup, okay? I just I happened to cough in front of the kidney specialist one day and it was off, if that's making you cough like that, you'll have to come off it. This is after having, I don't know three courses of antibiotics from my GP to deal with this cough that won't go away because currently they don't read your chart.

Scott Benner 47:42
So So okay, so the therapy helps with the feelings about life not being worth living, and you get some better health care and get off of medication that's hurting you. You're listening to the podcast and trying to make adjustments. It sounds like you were moving through quicksand. Like but but making progress just slow progress, which is

Kate 48:04
Is that about right? It's been progress over years. Yeah, it's taken years I do have a list of complications, but they're all stable Not at the moment. I have been to the eye specialist within the last month the back of my eyes are stable. There are no changes. There are no new vans, I have a lot of scar tissue. and a high blood pressure event has caused bleeds in the past. But it's been two years since the last one of those everything is nicely stable. She be English isn't her first. And she has this odd turn of phrase because they they send me to her from the pre Pregnancy Clinic. Just they are to see if my eyes are stable before we try getting pregnant. And she says it's okay for us to start practicing.

Scott Benner 49:10
But does that mean you don't know finish within 10 Is that thing

Kate 49:16
about stable? I own the the kidney specialist once a year and I for a checkup unless my meds need tweaking. So my blood pressure is perfect. My protein leakage is well under control. My kidney function is over 60% Which is where they stop measuring. considered normal if it's over 30

Scott Benner 49:44
Well good for you. Do you feel like a weight lifted?

Kate 49:46
The last year since we lost the pregnancy has been quite difficult. And I put on a lot of weight between getting pregnant and no And I think a lot of that has been to do with the amount of insulin that I had to take to keep my blood sugar. Stable. Yeah. So over twice what I was normally taking. And it's been kind of difficult to get in control of

Scott Benner 50:21
that. Also, were you, were you really going for the 270 carbs thing while you're pregnant? You weren't doing that. Okay. Yeah, that would have been crazy. The amount of insulin you would have needed then would have been insane.

Kate 50:37
I feel guilty about using a lot of insulin. I mean, we don't, I don't have to pay for my medication here. But that's not true for everyone. I feel guilty about using a lot of insulin.

Scott Benner 50:52
Okay, I hope you can find a way not to feel guilty about that. That's just you're just using the amount you needed. Not a thing you should feel guilty about. Why do you feel guilty about that?

Kate 51:01
It feels wasteful. Really. We've had some supply problems here recently. And like, since Brexit, I have been stockpiling insulin, like not to a ludicrous degree, but I'll have like three or four files in the fridge more than I technically need. Oh, my God, am I glad that I did that. There's been a period of a couple of months where they're just like, oh, we just can't get that. There isn't any.

Scott Benner 51:30
I have to say I, I would feel guilty about that. I think I think that you should use what you need to use. Just enough to feel bad about life. Don't feel bad about that. You know? Okay, so let's see what we have here. Let me ask you, if there's anything we haven't gotten to that you definitely want to talk about? I don't think so. We're doing okay.

Kate 51:56
We're done. Okay.

Scott Benner 51:59
What about the podcast helped you was that because I've heard some people say I knew what to do. You didn't tell me like how to manage. It was I felt like connected to diabetes by listening every day and hearing other people's stories that made me want to do a better job. So did you not know what you were doing? Or were you just not doing it? In

Kate 52:20
Part, I didn't know what I was doing. I learned about Pre-Bolus thing through the podcast. I have since had Pre-Bolus thing mentioned to me through the clinic. But like within the last four years, okay, people this thing has been mentioned, for the first time to me through the clinic, they sent me on a Daphne course, which is the dose adjustment for normal eating course, I think made a huge difference because it was probably the I probably hadn't had any refresher about counting carbs. Since I was eight years old.

Scott Benner 52:58
Oh my god. Can I ask you a difficult question, Kate? Sure. What's with your parents.

Kate 53:07
They were busy all the time. And I'm a control freak.

Scott Benner 53:11
So they weren't trying to help. And if they did try to help you push them away.

Kate 53:15
When I was diagnosed, we were told 40 grams of carbohydrate for a man meal, and 20 grams for a snack. And I was seven years old, but my mother would be quite keen for me to continue working on those ratios. Now as an adult. If I see my mother and she doesn't mention my wit, I would be wondering what was wrong with her? So

Scott Benner 53:43
is it? Is it just that her style doesn't match well with how you need to be spoken to?

Kate 53:50
Maybe? I mean, I don't think she should speak to anyone. So I

Scott Benner 53:54
know I'm just saying I'm trying to trying to be polite, but okay, so they weren't helping you

Kate 54:02
with parents of a certain age thing. Are they older? They were in their 30s When they had me and I'm nearly 40 So they're around 70 know, my mum, parents were a lot older. My grandfather was born in 1910.

Scott Benner 54:20
Is it how direct is it? Is it okay? You're fat? Or is it some it's pretty direct? Okay. I was gonna try to give you a spectrum. She was out of

Kate 54:34
the ex boyfriend. The first time I ever brought him home from England to meet my parents. My father met us off the plane and greeted me with the phrase you haven't lost any weight. Have you? My ex boyfriend looked at me when he's brave

Scott Benner 54:53
Oh, my sorry. I don't know why I'm laughing that just it's there. That's that's what got me is the idea of like there She is right there with her boyfriend who we've never met before. And you know what I'll do? Yeah, that's terrible. Sorry. That sucks. I don't know why you were depressed.

Kate 55:14
Okay, so I think like a lot of what helped me was, without that realization that you were on your own with it, so you kind of better get on it. You know, there's no point in waiting for it to get better. If you want it to get better, you're gonna have to make it better. And actually making it better is not as complicated as it may seem. No

Scott Benner 55:37
know. I mean, listen, if I can talk about it, and it makes sense that it's got to be pretty uncomplicated, because I'm pretty much an idiot. But what I'm seeing here is, I can't believe that I've come to believe this. But I've talked to enough people, you have a very common story. Diagnosed at a certain age, you know, there weren't a lot of expectations. So managing diabetes seemed kind of easy, because nobody was really tracking it that much, and there wasn't that much to do. And then you get a little older, you don't really know what you're doing. But in your parents mind, you're like, Whoa, she takes care of it. So that moves on you head out of the house, you get older, you ignore it, at some point, you decide you want to have a baby, this is really a common like, story for women, you decide you want to have a baby, you start looking hard at your health, and you go, Oh, God, this is nowhere near me having a baby. And then you make steps towards either getting that together or give up. That's really how I see it go. Yeah, those are your options. Yeah. And so you know, you can go backwards in the, here's the kindness, you come on and tell the story so that people whose children are now eight and 11, and 15 and 18. And hear this and think we could get ahead of this. And this doesn't have to be my kids story. That's why I like having the conversations, because I hope they're spurring other people into doing it. Or I'm hoping like a, like a 20 year old girl at college hears this and says, You know what, why don't I not wait the six years to decide I want to have a baby to take care of myself? Why am I starting now? So my eyes don't bleed. So I don't feel I don't find out what it's like to get a needle in my tear doc, and or whatever else is coming here. And we also haven't really talked Kate about high blood sugars could absolutely make you feel like you're depressed. Or it could give you mental instability. You don't I mean, like you could be

Kate 57:33
an angry angry person. Right? And but

Scott Benner 57:36
people don't see that they don't go oh, you know, Kate's blood sugars are really high all the time. They just go she's mad, or she's angry like you, you don't realize how many parts of your life it's going to touch in ways that like, There's no magical doctor that's just going to look at you and go, Oh, I know what's wrong. Take one of these, turn this dial here eat some of this, Baba, bah, all fixed. Life doesn't work that

Kate 58:00
way. No, unfortunately, magic pills. And

Scott Benner 58:03
variables start layering on top of each other to the point where you can't make sense of them anymore. And again, by example, you're taking a medication for a year, that's decimating you and you don't even realize it. I'm just saying, if you start off well, you have a much better chance of ending Well, yeah, and and that's what to me. That's what your story is about. It's about what happened to you, and you found a reset point. And that's terrific. And you'll move forward from there and everybody else. I hope you find your reset point sooner than that. I also think it's a great example that I don't give a crap how smart your eight or 11 year old is. Really don't put them in charge of their health. I mean, they can be part of it and learning as they go. But you can't just walk away from them and say they have it. I don't know that. I'm not sure I could walk away from Arden at 19. And that she wouldn't be on someone's podcast 10 years from now going, Yeah, you know, he let me go on my own. And the next thing I did was XYZ just like everybody else say,

Kate 59:08
you know, if they hadn't let me go on my own, I might have lost my mind. But oh,

Scott Benner 59:11
you'd be nuts with good blood sugars. Is that what you're saying?

Kate 59:16
In prison for murder. So

Scott Benner 59:19
let's assume that in the conversations we're imagining they're not your mom and dad. Oh my god, I can't imagine where you in the airport when he said it. Were there like people around? Yeah. Surrounded

Kate 59:34
by people.

Scott Benner 59:37
Wow. He didn't read any of the parenting books. I

Kate 59:41
wonder if I can find it because I actually have it on video. My parents were in Spain when we found out we were pregnant last year. And we had the the one photograph that I'd been given at the hospital showing a little, a little bump and I'd put it in the back of the photo album of the wedding photographs. So we were showing those to mom and dad and I just put this the scan photograph in the back. When we were telling them that I had my mom on video to the end of the turning the period and looking at it and staring at it and looking at me and saying, You can't lose any weight. No, I can.

Scott Benner 1:00:22
Is your mom then?

Kate 1:00:24
I would. She's not overweight, but she's constantly on a diet.

Scott Benner 1:00:27
Okay. We all are. So oh my god. Yeah, I don't know what to say. It's terrible.

Kate 1:00:39
Go kind of wish I didn't have that on video. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:00:43
yes. She didn't go Oh, I'm so happy. I'm so proud of you. I can't wait. What do you think you'll name the baby? None of that. She went Ah, well, she

Kate 1:00:50
was clearly happy and smiling and crying and hugging. But that's what she said. But

Scott Benner 1:00:56
that's what she said. And that's something. I wonder why that is? How is she? 60.

Kate 1:01:01
She's 30 years older than me. So she is 67.

Scott Benner 1:01:05
Tell me when you were born? What year 84? She was born in 5454. Okay. I don't know my mom was born then. She didn't say any. Well, my mom was born actually earlier than that. And she still didn't say that kind of crazy stuff. Me. It's just luck of the draw. Are you like that? Be real honest with me. I mean, I don't think you are okay.

Kate 1:01:31
I am. I am pretty much as non judgmental as they come. I don't have grinds to be judgmental of other people.

Scott Benner 1:01:40
Well, that's self awareness. I don't maybe your parents don't have that. Who knows? It might just be generational to honestly. You know, it sucks. But maybe it's just how they were brought up and how they were raised. And it's how they talk. Maybe they didn't help you. That's for sure. You still talk to them? It is?

Kate 1:01:58
Oh, yes.

Scott Benner 1:01:59
Yeah. Do you really talk? Yes,

Kate 1:02:03
I have put a lot of work into keeping that relationship

Scott Benner 1:02:07
is the work, you're not killing them is that the work?

Kate 1:02:11
Sometimes, I mean, when my my previous relationship fell apart. And I was in the very enviable position where I had assistance in getting a deposit to buy my own place. I moved in here on the first lockdown started, within three months of me moving into a house by myself for the first time ever. And they offered to have me come live with them. You said, I stayed here by myself.

Scott Benner 1:02:46
But what did you What did you say though? No, no, thank you. Did you bother telling them? Why do you think they knew why? I

Kate 1:02:57
don't I don't think they would understand why.

Scott Benner 1:03:01
Okay. I mean, I believe that I don't I don't think so if I'm being clear, I don't think that your parents is an example, or anyone's parents who would do something like this. I don't think that they're sitting like, you know, I don't know, the bad guy from a 40s movie, wringing their hands and planning your demise. You know, the

Kate 1:03:21
most frustrating part of it is that it comes from a place of love, and his like, but you can't say that.

Scott Benner 1:03:29
Or maybe there's a better way to talk about this. And maybe there's not, by the way, like me, you've alluded to it, maybe it would have been difficult. Like maybe your mom could have come up to you as nicely as possible, and tried to have that conversation with you. And even if she said everything textbook you might have gone. Are you calling me fat? And maybe it just would have gone that way anyway, like, I have no idea. But you could try, you know, just use I don't know what animals let their kids go at a certain age and never see them again. Maybe we should try that.

Kate 1:03:56
Most animals, most animals.

Scott Benner 1:04:00
Maybe we should try that for a while a couple of generations have just been like right leave good luck, and we'll see how this goes and keep me out of your problems. And maybe I won't make them worse. Oh, my gosh. All right, Kate, I really appreciate you having this conversation with me and sticking through the technical trouble and everything. It was really lovely to get to know you. I appreciate it very much.

Kate 1:04:22
You too lovely to finally get to speak to you in person. Well, I've been listening for long.

Scott Benner 1:04:28
That's it's so nice. I can't believe you've been listening that long. That's terrific.

Kate 1:04:34
It certainly helped me a huge amount.

Scott Benner 1:04:36
I'm glad I really am. So again Pre-Bolus saying like so management ideas helped you because you didn't have those. Do you like hearing the people's conversations is that are that I

Kate 1:04:49
love hearing people's stories. I think when you see diabetes represented in them when you see diabetes represented movies, and it's almost always entirely incorrect. When you see it represented in the media, it is either doom and gloom, or someone showing what a good day they've had. For the most part, I'm certainly predating the podcast, I did not see anyone struggling with control represented, okay. It appeared that I was the only person struggling with control. And you knew that mustn't be true. Because when you go to the clinic, there are other people there who are clearly struggling with control. But their stories are not represented. So

Scott Benner 1:05:42
you think, is it to say then that the podcast does a good job of accurately representing what it's like to have diabetes? Yes. And that that's important to you? Absolutely.

Kate 1:05:54
And the the episodes with Janee, the big episode about variable, I must have listened to that episode, like 100 times.

Scott Benner 1:06:05
I would like it if everyone listened to all the episodes 100 times, please. Thank you.

Kate 1:06:12
That was one of my favorites. Definitely. Why? It was it's really like this. And I sent it to other people, for them to listen as well. This is what it's like for me on a daily basis. Because people don't see, you know, the number of times I have heard, where you just watch what you eat, and you take some insulin, and then that's fine. Is this. Okay? Yeah, I'm glad you say that.

Scott Benner 1:06:40
I know, that's hard. She and I, Jenny. And I just, I think we just finished up recording the myth episodes, because that was something else. We were trying to shine a light on just what people think and what you hear in public. But you know, what is obviously, mostly not true about your life.

Kate 1:06:59
Our local health center has a special rate for people with disabilities, but they don't stay on the website, what they mean by that. So I had phoned them to see if they included diabetes, as a disability that you would get discount to attend, they'll send her for. And I was told by the woman on the phone that diabetes is not a disability.

Scott Benner 1:07:25
hardly think it's like having a cold, except you get a pump. So yeah, nobody's I mean, it's your point, nobody's going to understand it. As well, as you're going to, I've come to believe that the that statement that doctors tell you like, like a good doctor will tell you listen, in six months or a year, you're going to understand this better than I am. And I think they say it to you, to give you I don't know where that statement comes from. I really would like to dissect it more. But I think it's I think it's, it doesn't help people the way they intended. I imagined they intended to saying, Look, you're going to gather up all these experiences, and eventually you're going to know so much about this, you're going to make me look like I don't know about it, which, you know, hint, hint, they'd already don't know about it. But I don't think that that's a comforting thing for newly diagnosed personally. What do you mean, I'm going to no more than the doctor? That doesn't make sense. Again, it's

Kate 1:08:22
not like you can you can tell a newly diagnosed person you're on your own with this, right? Yeah. Am I? I don't I don't mean it exactly like that. Yet. There are resources and other people and medical professionals that are available to you with help, but they can't understand it for you. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:08:39
that really that's that's a wonderful sentence. I think that helps. That's why Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot lately, right? Because I think what they're probably thinking is, hey, listen, you're fine. This is all on you, I'm barely going to help you. And if you don't figure this out, you're gonna have incredibly bad health outcomes. But you know, instead of they go, Oh, don't worry in a year, you're gonna understand this way better than I do. It's like, I guess they're trying to give you like an attaboy like some like a lift up. But I just think that better communication and more words, sometimes is the way to go. You know, just tell them. This is difficult, but it's doable. Here are a bunch of people doing it. Well, that is possible. So set up that there's hope. And then give them some basics, here's what you're really going to have to know you're really going to need to know how insulin works, you're really going to need to know what your blood sugars are, you're gonna have to understand how food impacts you're gonna have to be flexible. These things are going to come in time you're going to have experiences those experiences will inform you. I know this sounds like a lot now, but we'll write them down so it doesn't seem as bad. Here's the fourth. Keep notes as well. Right?

Kate 1:09:50
I have graphs. I have graphs

Scott Benner 1:09:54
of your notes and just trying to figure it all out.

Kate 1:09:57
Is what what am I in while I'm getting through a period of time and how those are affecting each other, I have graphs.

Scott Benner 1:10:05
Okay, let me end with this. How was your blood sugar today? Like, what are your? What is your range? Like? Were you, you know, you struggle How easy is it for you, etc.

Kate 1:10:16
I have been between alarms all day, which is not to say that it's been perfect. It has been between five and nine all day.

Scott Benner 1:10:31
Five is 99 is 162. between 90 to 162. All day, what time is it that right now? It's late, right?

Kate 1:10:40
It is 7pm. Okay, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:10:43
cuz it's like two in the afternoon here. So that's terrific. What have you eaten today?

Kate 1:10:48
This morning, I had some natural yogurt with a very small amount of granola and a sugar free sweetener and my yogurt and I had some fish sticks. And at lunchtime I had some homemade chicken curry with chickpeas in it and broccoli. Sounds

Scott Benner 1:11:10
like a good day. It really does.

Kate 1:11:14
I've had about 30 grams of carbohydrate today. Nobody's

Scott Benner 1:11:17
asked me what I ate today so far. But I would tell you if you asked me, and let me tell ya, I call your mom up. You're like listen, I had a key lime coconut milk. Yogurt this morning. I had one egg with one shrimp. I scrambled the egg. The shrimp had hot sauce on it. I cooked them together and put them in a small wrap. I think the wrap is like 20 carbs. I've also taken a digestive enzyme with my food which by the way, I wondered if you shouldn't try earlier in the episode.

Kate 1:11:50
I actually got some last week. I started taking them on Friday. And I find them to be slightly to effect.

Scott Benner 1:12:00
Oh, here they come out the other side. When you do can you take fewer don't take them with every meal take them maybe more with protein stuff that's harder to digest.

Kate 1:12:10
I was thinking I would take them with like larger meals. Rather than it says take no more than three a day. Yeah, it was meals.

Scott Benner 1:12:22
I tried to stack them with the food that looks more like it's difficult to digest. If you don't, I mean, I

Kate 1:12:29
went through a period of eating like protein and almost exclusively raw vegetables and was having like real stomach problems. And as it turns out, that's probably the worst thing you can eat for so digesting. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:12:43
for sure. million percent. But I mean, the point is that some type ones just have slower digestion, and it's not gastroparesis. So I would think if you see your insulin hitting pretty consistently, and you're not like getting, I don't know, if you're not getting impacts from food hours and hours and hours later than you expected. You might just have a slower digestion and some of these enzymes like peppered through your meals, like in decent places could really you might even see your insulin go up go down a little bit because the foods not sitting in your stomach as long.

Kate 1:13:17
I do you sometimes see where my insulin will take effect. And I'll go low and be looking at this low going. Should I correct this low? I've just eaten and then have a colossal high because I've had to correct you know, a low blood sugar that has gone to like 3.1 and falling. Yes. But haven't digested the dinner yet.

Scott Benner 1:13:42
Well, that I mean, listen, I'm not saying you don't have gastroparesis either. I don't know. But I'm just saying that this would be an easier way to like, look into.

Kate 1:13:50
I'm hoping the the enzymes will stop that from happening. Yeah, good luck.

Scott Benner 1:13:56
I mean, I don't know what else to say. Like, I won't see you again. So good luck. I mean, I could say something your mom would say, that's not gonna work can't give up now. How's that? sound more parental to you.

Kate 1:14:12
The more along the lines of why don't you just digest properly? No. Oh, I

Scott Benner 1:14:15
see Kate, you're doing it wrong. Or when you meet? Oh my gosh. I'm sure she'll have to be 100. Me everyone loves to be honored. But please be nice to each other. Okay, Kate, I'm going to hold on for a second. I'm going to say goodbye and I'll wrap some stuff up with here at the end.

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