#898 Breaker Breaker

April 26, 2023Scott Benner

Jacqueline's daughter has type 1 diabetes. We talk about school and expectations.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 898 of the Juicebox Podcast

I make little notes for myself after I edit the podcasts. And usually my notes are meant to help me record the open to the podcast but I gotta tell you, I didn't understand my own notes. So this is Jacqueline and she's got a kid with type one diabetes. Think they had a problem at school, we end up talking about people's responsibilities at their job a lot. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. Also try to ignore the fact while you're listening to me rant about people not doing their jobs that I did not do my job by leaving myself an audio note that was clear enough for me to make the beginning of this episode just let that irony go past you. Actually if you need to be distracted, go to T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juice box to cleanse your palate. Get there and take the survey finishing the survey helps type one diabetes research it supports the show. It helps people with type one T one D exchange.org forward slash juicebox your mental sorbet before beginning the podcast

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod. Of course Omni pod makes the Omni pod five which is an automated tubeless insulin pump. And they make the Omni pod dash, which is not automated but still a tubeless insulin pump. You'll figure it all out at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box My daughter has been wearing an omni pod every day. for over 14 years. It's been a friend in this journey. I think you'll enjoy it. Omni pod.com forward slash juice box will you support the sponsors by clicking on my links or typing them in a browser you were helping to keep this podcast plentiful and free. You're also helping to support the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. I mean, technically you're paying my bills and then I do all this stuff and then you get it for free. You understand how commerce works I imagined juicebox podcast.com. All the links to all the sponsors. If you need g Vogue hypo pen, you need a contour next gen blood glucose meter a Dexcom and Omni pod. What else you want to check out touched by type one, you want to get yourself some ag one from athletic greens, or you want some quality bedding from cozy Earth. These are things you'll find at juicebox podcast.com. There are also links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now what I forget what I forget what you're like just start the podcast scout. What are you doing? I'm doing business Omni pod Dexcom contour G Vogue, ag one, the T one D exchange us med that's what I forgot us meds where my daughter gets her diabetes supplies from touched by type one cozy Earth. I think we've got I can't say that one yet. But I think we got a new and common T one the exchange. So I say that I said it. That's it. Oh, better help better. help.com forward slash juicebox save 10% of your first month of therapy therapy. I think we all need therapy betterhelp.com forward slash juicebox. Alright guys, that's it. I appreciate you listening to this stuff. I mean, being completely honest and serious. The podcast doesn't exist without the sponsors. And the sponsors don't come back without you. It's a circle of life kind of thing. If you need one of these things, please click on my links. I'm not saying go buy something you don't want. I'm not saying to go buy something you don't need. I'm not saying to go buy something you can afford. I'm saying if you're getting therapy, if you need to hype open if you want to Dexcom etc and so on. Click the legs.

Jacqueline 3:59
Hi, my name is Jacqueline and I have a daughter living with type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 4:07
Jacqueline. Why do I hear people talking behind your back on what's going on?

Jacqueline 4:11
My daughter actually is an online learning right now she's doing digital school. Oh, I could close the door. I don't know if that would make the echo worse. Let's

Scott Benner 4:19
find out. We definitely can't have a disembodied voice behind us

Jacqueline 4:28
she must have just made it louder because it wasn't couldn't hear before and now I can

Scott Benner 4:33
No it's okay. You You were like hey, I'm Jacqueline. I have a daughter living with type one diabetes. And then I felt like I was picking up half of a CB channel behind me so Okay, so my house sounds like CB radio.

Jacqueline 4:47
Yeah.

Scott Benner 4:49
Do you think people even know what that is?

Jacqueline 4:51
I had a nightmare about a CB radio two nights ago actually go on well being one. Oh god. It's so disturbing. It's so I was so upset. I, I had a dream that I was with. I have a friend who has a daughter, that's my daughter's age that hang out and I dropped me and my friend were like, on this road trip, we're going somewhere. And we were letting a little girls like, go for walks out on their own. And we were like watching them from a distance. And then like, we check in on them, and then we're just letting them walk around in the woods like idiots. And then like, it gets dark, and I realized I don't know where they are. And I have this giant TV radio. And I'm like, calling out on the radio, like, has anybody seen these little girls and, and then this crazy, like, the creepiest, deepest voice you've ever heard comes back on the radio, and indicate that like, he has them. I'm thinking but it was like cracked up like you couldn't tell what he was saying. And then I was like, begging him to get them back to us. And he's like, they're fine. They've already had their milk and cookies. And then I woke up and I was like, so sick, like and upset. And I. That's because, because it's ice cream from the night before it was called Milk and cookies. I think Wait,

Scott Benner 6:09
you had ice cream in the evening before called Milk and cookies? Yeah. I listened. Oh, my God. So had I not like arbitrarily said CB radio, which is a very bizarre thing to say. Then we would not have heard about your dream.

Jacqueline 6:26
Maybe not. No, I don't really it really like messed me up. It was really a

Scott Benner 6:31
wake up sort of like, shock.

Jacqueline 6:34
Yeah, well, it was kind of one of those things were this was like I woke up at like, it wasn't even midnight yet. Like I had just, I hadn't even been asleep that long. And you're kind of in that headspace where you don't even really realize what's real and what's not. And if you're sleeping. So you know, you wake up and you're like, Oh, my God is my kid. Like, abducted and like my child was abducted like this in the in the pit of my stomach. And it was not good. Then I woke up and I'm like, oh, it's it's just type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 7:07
Is that what woke you up?

Jacqueline 7:10
A bit dream woke me up. Yeah, I think because I was just physically so Ill over it. That's crazy. Well, yeah,

Scott Benner 7:17
we were just, we were just talking about dreams. Last night, my son comes up to me and he goes, in your dreams. Do people can you hear people when they're talking? And I was like, why? And he goes, and so at first I thought, well, yeah, I can hear people's conversations in my dreams, right? I don't really recall them. But I hear them. I know that I'm aware of them when I'm dreaming. And then he goes, No, no, he goes, do you actually hear them? Or do you just know that? What they're saying to each other? And I was like, Oh, wow, this is like a matrix question. Like, like, are you hearing sounds in your head? No. You say yes. But I don't think so.

Jacqueline 7:58
Because that voice was so distinctive. Like, I heard that voice that that creepy voice over the CB radio, like I can tell you exactly what it sounds like. Right.

Scott Benner 8:08
But I think what my son is saying is does your brain just create that? That impulse that makes you feel like you heard it, because if you if you and I stopped right now, if we all stop right now, you know, here, we'll do it all together. Everybody's listening. If we get very quiet, and try to picture someone who we knows voice, you can hear it in your head. But that doesn't mean you're hearing sound.

Jacqueline 8:33
Not physical sound. Right?

Scott Benner 8:34
Right. So he's talking to me like this. And I'm like, I'm feeling like, I'm having a conversation. And we're all high. Because he's like, he's like, he's like, can you really hear it? And I'm like, No, and he goes, and plus dreams move very quickly. He goes, maybe you just infer that you know what's happening. Like, you're seeing the images, quote, unquote, but not, but he's like, how would you hear it? It's moving so fast. And and so I was just like, Oh my God, you're flipping me.

Jacqueline 9:01
How old is your son sounds like my son. He's 22.

Scott Benner 9:06
Somebody said it downstairs and it caught his attention. I was upstairs working and I think he had a half an hour conversation with my wife about it before he walked up and asked me so anyway, the at some point during this podcast if it gets weird required for just one second, I'm gonna lean into the microphone and go, Jacqueline, I have the girls.

Unknown Speaker 9:29
It's pretty close.

Scott Benner 9:32
Don't worry, they've had their milk and cookies.

Jacqueline 9:35
Oh my God, that's really creepy.

Scott Benner 9:38
Oh my gosh, anyway, okay. So how many kids do you have in total?

Jacqueline 9:44
Um, I have two biological children. And then I have two bonus stepsons that are older now. So my stepsons are 18 and 20. And then I'm My daughter is 10 and my son is 12.

Scott Benner 10:05
Okay. Alright, so a couple of interesting questions here. Do your stepsons have any autoimmune issues?

Jacqueline 10:12
No. Okay. They're not related. So we're just kind of like the Brady Bunch.

Scott Benner 10:17
Are they not related to the man you're married to?

Jacqueline 10:21
Yeah, they are. But my two children are from a previous marriage.

Scott Benner 10:25
Oh, hold on a second. All right. So there's like when you woke up from your dream last night, there was a guy laying next to you. Those boys are his. Your, your kids are not his so that your kids are his stepchildren?

Jacqueline 10:39
Yes, yes. Okay. Yes. I got it. I got I got like the Brady Bunch.

Scott Benner 10:45
With fewer people. And creepy. Yeah. Okay, so you have a 10 to 12 year old your 10 year old has type one. Yes. As a girl, I'm sorry. Yes, sorry. How about a 12 year old girl or boy?

Jacqueline 10:57
He's a boy and healthy as can be. And nobody in my family or their dad's family has any history of any autoimmune,

Scott Benner 11:06
nothing? No, nothing at all. Nothing

Jacqueline 11:09
or nothing. She did get this was a COVID thing.

Scott Benner 11:14
Yeah, so this is super interesting, because I watch these conversations evolve online constantly. And I can never tell because it's online writing, if it's just people's, like, you know, they're not being specific when they're communicating and writing or if they really feel this way. Because you'll hear people say, you know, I was diagnosed with type one diabetes after I had COVID. And you'll have and you'll hear people say COVID gave me type one diabetes. And I don't know what they mean when they say that. So how do you feel about it when you when you think about it? So

Jacqueline 11:51
what happened with my Actually, both of my kids got COVID After being at school for two weeks, last August. So they both had a fever. And then Bell had like a super light cough for a couple of weeks. Lincoln, nothing. I mean, they really had like, hardly any symptoms at all. And just for to preface this, my kids have never had an ear infection. They used to get perfect attendance. Like my kids are like, I'm a nutrition freak, like we they are no history of any issues whatsoever. And I thought my kids could handle it. Because every news source told me this isn't the kids can handle this, right? Yeah. And and so it was exactly two weeks. It was the day she was supposed to go back to school after she was, you know, quarantined at home. The night before she started vomiting. And I thought it was something she ate. I didn't link it to anything else. I'm like, Oh, she must have had, you know, because she was at her dad's house. So they eat a little different, which is fine. But, like just

Scott Benner 13:01
fine, in case you're wondering.

Jacqueline 13:06
away, I wouldn't do it, but I appreciate everything they do.

Scott Benner 13:09
That's why he lives by himself now. No, no, actually,

Jacqueline 13:13
he's actually remarried as well. And she's fantastic. She's been really fantastic. Anyway, so she had dinner over there. Actually, she started to get sick over there the night before she was supposed to go back to school. And when she started to get sick, I was like, I'll just come get her because I'm her mom. And she used to be with me when she's not feeling good. I'm not biased at all, by the way. So I bring her home and she just is vomiting like all through the night. And on our like four or five. I'm googling like, when do you take your kid to the ER how much? Because I'm in my overreacting is it's probably just a food poisoning or a bug or something. And then I noticed she was breathing kind of heavy. And her and then I'm like, Okay, if your breathing is off, like to me that's emergency room. Like if you can't breathe or you're like she just had very labored breathing. And so took her in. She like had trouble walking from the car to the ER. And I'm like, I'm like, Come on, let's like what's wrong with you? And I like had no idea what was going on. I thought she was just being dramatic because she has a history of of dramatics. And we got in there and oh my God, thank God for this children's hospital. They were just amazing. They pricked her finger immediately. They said they smelled it on her. And immediately they said, Oh, looks like onset. And I'm like, I have no idea what that means, like onset onset. What like what the hell are you talking about? And so, you know, the whole thing happens and this was obviously during COVID. So there was no breaks from it. I couldn't leave the room to cry or to freak out. I was in front of her like the whole time, which was interesting. But anyway, like in talking to the nurses and doctors, the nurses had said, Yeah, we're seeing a ton of these lately. And so while I was stuck in that ICU, we were in the ICU for three days, the last day was education. But I read the entire Internet. I'm a reader, and that's an I. And I found you I had I was posting on Facebook, and I had a Facebook friend that recommended the podcasts. So I was super lucky to find the Juicebox Podcast in the Facebook group. Oh my gosh, that's everything to me. But I read the whole internet. I went to the American diabetes Association, I watched the president of the diabetes Association, talk, give updates. And in one of the speeches that he was talking in, he was talking about how DKA doubled in 2020. Right. So I also have a acquaintance of mine that got pancreatitis from COVID. And I read a ton about the link and so COVID actually directly attacks the pancreas. That's scientific knowledge that that's what it does. The question is and people and I don't really know for sure, exactly. You know how this happened. If if

Scott Benner 16:31
Oh, Jacqueline, you just disappeared again. Or attack Jacqueline. Hold on. For me. That time? Yeah, that time. It definitely wasn't my fault. So what is going

Jacqueline 16:41
on? I

Unknown Speaker 16:41
know it

Jacqueline 16:42
keeps on this computer for living. I never have.

Scott Benner 16:46
Hold on one second. I'm going to try something. But we're gonna try something together. Hold on

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Alright, are you still there? I'm here. Okay. So I made an adjustment here and we're going to see if that helps. So I apologize because it's okay by surprise. And so you what you said was, I'll recap. Okay, you watched the video from the ADA. Right? He said that DK was up significantly. You had a friend you had a friend. Okay. You had a friend who had pancreas haitus after after COVID And you're saying you're saying that COVID goes, but towards the pancreas, which is not something I know about. So um, yeah, so there's a,

Jacqueline 20:11
there's a study on Harvard Medical. And there's some other studies out there that talk about how COVID attacks the pancreas. It doesn't talk about how COVID attacks beta cells, but COVID attacks the pancreas 1,000%. So, my question is, and the question that hangs out there in the universe, if COVID is attacking the pancreas, if your body is under attack, will your body make antibodies? To go towards that place? Because not only do the COVID cells attack the pancreas, but they replicate the pancreatic cells and infiltrate as well. So if that is the part of your body that's causing the problem, can your body create those type one antibodies to fight it? I don't know. Nobody knows. There's not enough research. Yeah, um,

Scott Benner 20:58
so I'm just I Googled while you were talking and came up a couple of things right. So this is from Medscape. It says SARS. cov. Two infection has also been shown to affect the exocrine pancreas manifesting as pancreatitis in 5%. of critically ill patients with COVID-19, as well as enlargement of the pancreas, and abnormal levels of lipids and amylase in seven and a half to 17% of patients now that that's data from pretty recently made 2022. Another one says, What are the most common organs affected by COVID-19 lungs are the main organ affected, however, the virus can also affect others. But then it says, such as kidneys, brain, and liver doesn't mention the pancreas. So it might, for me, knowing nothing, and everyone keeping in mind that I slept through a lot of my high school education and did not go to college. My expectation is this is that for your daughter had antibodies that made it more likely for her to get type one diabetes, and that a virus kicks that process in so my daughter had Coxsackie virus and then got type one diabetes. Right? And

Jacqueline 22:14
got Yeah, and I think, and I'm not saying I know for sure that COVID caused this. But when you look at the statistics for what's happening, either there was just a crap ton of people that were predisposed, that it's triggered like crazy. Or maybe it could be creating antibodies and some people that weren't predisposed.

Scott Benner 22:37
So that's a question. Yeah, it's a it's a valuable question to ask, obviously, my expectation is, is that the first thing you said is what happened? So think of it this way, my daughter was two and she was diagnosed, if I just don't go somewhere with her one day where she gets Coxsackie. Maybe she's not diagnosed till she's six. Right. And it's like, because at some point, you have to get you have to get a virus that has the right mixture, who cares what it is, that will kick you into your type one. But but my daughter always had those antibodies, like coxsackievirus didn't magically make antibodies for type one diabetes appear in her. So it so my point is, is that I think that the population usually doesn't all get sick at once, with a virus. And I think it kind of needs to be a virus, like, from what I've, you know, called together talking to people all this time. So I think we just laid a blanket of virus across the, across the world. And what grows from that, as people with type one diabetes should show their head. They're like, Oh, look, I'm I have type. Yeah, that's how I think of it. I could be 1,000,000% wrong, but that's how it occurs to me. Oh, yeah.

Jacqueline 23:54
And I think there's a good chance that that you're right, too. And I just, I just don't know, and I hate not knowing where you're in any place,

Scott Benner 24:03
aren't you? Because in the beginning of diagnosis, a lot of people torture themselves with this question.

Jacqueline 24:12
Oh, my gosh, I tortured myself like crazy and the guilt for even sending my kids back to school because they stayed home the year before, you know? And then, you know, me and my husband got vaccinated, and we thought the kids would be more resilient. And so yeah, I really, unlike I just should have just waited for the vaccine to come out. And maybe she would, you know, have another 10 years without it or another, however long, you know, and then on the other side of the coin, I'm like, God, I wasted her last year of being healthy sitting in the house.

Scott Benner 24:49
Okay, had any psychological issues stemming? Yeah. Oh, good. I think it's fun for us here on the podcast bad for you. Yeah, so I was talking to somebody the other day, and they were just they had this problem. And I was like, Oh, this poor person. And then the rest of me was like, This is great for this.

Jacqueline 25:09
Logically, logically, I know and people tell me and I know like, it's, it's not my fault. It's, it just feels like parenting through COVID. And now through type one diabetes, I feel like every decision I make I regret or is wrong, or I can't, there is no right decision. And even if you would have made a different decision, that I could have ended terrible, I could have entered the wrong way. You know,

Scott Benner 25:33
I'll tell you what to imagine this. Imagine you get her a vaccine. And she goes back to school and she gets COVID. And she ends up with type one diabetes, you would have been like that vaccine.

Jacqueline 25:47
Oh, and there's a lot of people out there that that that claim that the vaccine gave their kid COVID or XYZ to and you know, yeah. And I'm like, Oh, those people are crazy, but

Scott Benner 26:00
not me. Not me.

Jacqueline 26:04
Well, whatever. Yeah, you really can't, when they really can't, yeah,

Scott Benner 26:07
what it brings up is the uncertainty of being alive. And what happens when you get put in charge of another human beings life and you love them? Right? You know, so now you feel like I have to make, I mean, listen, I'm no expert, but but my kids 22. And I thought we did pretty well. And then there are times when something pops up, and you're like, he's like, this is completely botched. From my childhood. You're like, really, like, you don't I mean, like I say that. My son, my son is older. He's like, he's like, this thing happened. And you guys should have done this. He's got hindsight. And I let him have his feelings. And I yeah, they're perfectly reasonable. But but, you know, he wasn't 26 and trying to figure out what to do with a one year old or something, you know what I mean? Like, like, he lacks context. And and you don't care about context, you care about making the exact right decision, and there's no way to do that.

Jacqueline 27:10
I know that logically, my brain knows that, you know, but it's still hard to get some of those thoughts out of your head.

Scott Benner 27:19
You also don't have all the information ever, like so. Like so my wife for example, through her work has knowledge of the j&j COVID vaccine. Okay, so at the, at the very time that people were like the j&j vaccine is killed a bunch of you don't even that was all

Jacqueline 27:36
going on. Right. That's the vaccine that I got.

Scott Benner 27:39
I was I was supposed to get the j&j vaccine three days after that popped up in the news. And I was like, God, I hope they don't stop me from getting my vaccine. And then, and then they did. And then I was like, oh, then I had to wait. And then you know, as soon as they said, it was okay. Again, I went and got the j&j vaccine, because I was making decisions based off of what I knew. And, and I also had different contexts where I forget the details of this. So please, don't take this next couple of sentences for details. But there were a handful of women who died after having the vaccine. But they weren't. They were in a very specific medical situation, right or life situation. I don't remember. I'm being very honest, I don't remember. But the point is, is that I was not in that medical situation. So I so I liked the idea that j&j vaccine because it was kind of based on older technology, and I liked it. So I'm like, we're going to do this plus, my wife had spent a year sifting through safety data for like, that's, you know, while you were all hiding in your house, my wife was trying to make sure that that vaccine was okay.

Jacqueline 28:45
If you want to know something interesting about that vaccine that I was reading about is people that took it were more likely to faint afterwards. And I I hate needles so much. It's funny, you will never meet anybody that hates hate them. I am very needle phobic I've always been. And so I chose the Johnson and Johnson vaccine because there's one of them. And I also can pass out if I get freaked out or you know, yeah, or sad, or get blood drawn or something. So it's funny that that's the vaccine that people are more likely to pass out in because that's the one all the wimps take

Scott Benner 29:30
it even that's an interesting statement, like you're more likely to pass out if you do this than this. What an and we hear those things as headlines. And then oh my god, then in our minds, like, you know, there's a room a gymnasium full of people getting the j&j vaccine. They're falling over like those sleeping. Yeah, except what it probably means is that, you know, I don't know 100 people out of every million passed out with this one, but with this one, it was 120 to me Yeah.

Jacqueline 30:01
I just think this psychological aspect of it is interesting, like, the types of people that chose that one might be more predisposed to painting or freaking out, you know, the types of people that would willingly sign up to get double the needles.

Scott Benner 30:17
That's so interesting. Yeah, you're getting the shot never occurred to me as being an issue one way or the other. Yeah, I never thought of it that way. But I don't have a trouble with the needle. So it's anyway. Well, anyway, however, no, don't be sorry. Your daughter's got diabetes now. So. And how long ago was this?

Jacqueline 30:36
August 23. So for diversities coming up?

Scott Benner 30:41
Oh, one year she's coming up on. Okay. All right. So diagnosed during COVID. Did you how long did she stay in the hospital for?

Jacqueline 30:51
We were in the hospital for three days. She was when they admitted her her blood sugar was 575. And then her a one C was 8.4.

Scott Benner 31:04
Okay, so your question the day that she was diagnosed? Yeah. Was How long after she had gotten COVID?

Jacqueline 31:14
Two weeks. 14 days,

Scott Benner 31:18
14 days. And her blood sugar was five or 75?

Jacqueline 31:26
Well, 14 days from her fever. Now she could have been exposed a week before that. 14 days from her fever.

Scott Benner 31:34
Okay. I hear you. Alright, I got it. I got it. I'm trying to remember how long I thought Arden had Coxsackie furl a month or so before, even longer than she was diagnosed. Yeah. Okay. Anyway. You stay in the hospital, they let you out. What did they give you when you leave?

Jacqueline 31:59
Oh, they were so great. We had I had bags and bags. I had. Well, she got her little JD are up there. We they gave us like tons of books and material. I actually met with the dietician at the hospital, which was nice. And they did lots of training for me at the hospital. I left with insulin pens glucose meter. So we had Lantis and Humalog. And then keto ketone strips. I mean, pretty much everything we we would need.

Scott Benner 32:38
Okay. I liked how you it was like you were leaving a birthday party and people are like, here take a kazoo.

Jacqueline 32:43
Yeah, and she had this huge like blanket that gave her all these toys that they were constantly like, showering us with it was just great Children's Hospital and, and there was a social worker that came in to make sure we were okay. Like, do you need anything? She got me like a brush. And yeah, they were just amazing.

Scott Benner 33:01
So you you had done a lot of reading while you were in the hospital. So what was your expectation of what living with diabetes was going to be like versus what it ended up being?

Jacqueline 33:13
Oh, at first, it was so overwhelming. It was just, you know, like I said, we're both I hate needles. She hates needles. I mean, even now getting bloodwork it's it's horrible. I, I would I never wanted to. So, at first I'm like, How the hell am I going to do this? Like, how am I going to do this? All the time, multiple times a day. It's just such a shock. Like, it's such a, it just turns everything on its head and it seemed so daunting and so intimidating. And like I obviously like went through so much grief of just how our lifestyle was about to change, you know. Now a year later, it's not that big of a deal. As much. i It's a small, a smaller part of life.

Scott Benner 34:13
Yeah. Does she have did she have a honeymoon?

Jacqueline 34:17
I don't not a well defined one. I don't really understand the honeymoon thing. Because it's, um, I don't know. And she's had she's 10 So she's got like hormones, hormonal stuff is starting. So it's hard to tell like we need to make adjustments sometimes but she never got to a point where like she didn't need insulin or anything like that.

Scott Benner 34:43
Yeah, I was gonna say if you don't understand the the honeymoon then you didn't say it. Yeah, probably not. Right. But that's even interesting that she had a short or non existent honeymoon. So her her needs haven't changed. significantly, in any leaps?

Jacqueline 35:03
Not really interesting. Not really like how you

Scott Benner 35:07
said she has hormone stuff going on.

Jacqueline 35:11
You know, you know that thing when you think you have it all figured out, and then you're like, Oh, I got a couple of days here, we're, we're doing good. And then all of a sudden it changes, you know, she needs she needs half the insulin or twice the insulin. You're like the hell's going on

Scott Benner 35:27
right now? I know. Okay, so how did she handle it? Like, I guess just kind of psychologically and like as a person?

Jacqueline 35:37
I'm at first really, really well, at first it was. She, she started giving herself shots, actually, fairly quickly, she preferred that. She got a lot of attention in the beginning. And she really liked that. And she didn't mind the candy either. So at first it was it was good. It took a little while for things to kind of soak in. Now. She's still pretty. I don't know.

Scott Benner 36:17
I like how you said she doesn't like she wanted to do the shots yourself. And I'm thinking of course she does. Because you're probably holding the needle. Like, I don't want to do this. This is terrible.

Jacqueline 36:27
I mean, I got used to it pretty quickly. I got I really like was able to, obviously a necessity. I compartmentalize and detach myself from feeling anything at all, and just go into like robot mode. So no. But now it's it's complicated. There's a lot of layers there. There's a lot of things we were working on. I started taking her to a horse therapist, which is not a a horse talking to her. But as a therapist that uses horses. My husband says every time I say horse therapist, do you think of like her talking to her?

Scott Benner 37:09
It's funny, I thought opposite. I thought all these poor people can afford a therapist for a person. That's terrible. I knew

Jacqueline 37:20
what's funny is the reason she's going to equine therapy is because I couldn't find a normal one. I you know, I was looking everywhere. And she was asking for help. And she you know, obviously has a lot that she's dealing with and isn't great or comfortable with expressing herself. Like she keeps a lot on the inside. That's and she's always been that way. So I searched forever. I contacted the hospital, I contacted everybody and nobody had any resources that would take our insurance that would talk to somebody her age. And then finally, I was just at this leadership thing. And one of the people that I was going with, he's like, Well, I do equine therapy, and I have an opening and she takes insurance. I'm like, Oh my gosh. So it worked out.

Scott Benner 38:13
How does this? How does this work? Does she just sort of care for the horse and, and ride it. That kind of thing. She hasn't

Jacqueline 38:21
actually ridden the horse. But she will like room it so she brushes it and does like breathing. And then the horse is very in tune to feelings. And so, you know, if you put your hand on a horse and you think happy thoughts, and you put your hand on a horse and you think angry thoughts, the horse reacts differently to your mood. And so it's kind of getting in touch with your own feelings through getting in touch with the horses feelings, and the horse expresses how it feels with different body language and, you know, and the thing that the horse does, and so she's teaching my daughter, you know, see how he does this with his head or how he that means he's feeling this way? Or are we we don't want to make him feel nervous. So it's a lot with, it helps with like anxiety. Yeah, but also just kind of identifying what are your feelings and how to kind of be a little bit more in control of them and identifying them.

Scott Benner 39:19
That seems like either very worthwhile, or somebody's tricking you into paying them to brush their horse.

Jacqueline 39:25
Well, I mean, it's insurance. So

Scott Benner 39:29
I imagine the person right now they're like, This is amazing. These people give me $40 And then they brought my horse for me. And I know right, I tell them I know what it means when the horse looks down to the right.

Jacqueline 39:41
I need to start advertising like vacuum therapy services.

Scott Benner 39:44
Oh my god. I've been thinking the same thing while you're talking. People would feel better pressure washing my siding.

Jacqueline 39:53
I know that that crossed my mind to

Scott Benner 39:56
helping her kind of doesn't matter. Ya know,

Jacqueline 39:59
she really likes it. it it just sucks because it's it's hot. We're in Arizona. So over the summer. She's we can't do we can't do the worst stuff over the summer because it's triple digit temperatures. So yeah, you have to wait until late September to get back into it probably. October,

Scott Benner 40:16
you live somewhere where people aren't supposed to be. Because the temperatures,

Jacqueline 40:21
it's gorgeous. But we do need to be we do need either water or air conditioning, we need to be in the pool, or in the house.

Scott Benner 40:28
It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. I was just talking to somebody the other day from Canada. And they were talking about how cold it gets. And I was like, move. Like why are you there? And now you're telling me triple digits on like, I don't care how nice it isn't the other times a year to get the hell out of there.

Jacqueline 40:45
Well, I don't know if you can see my Facebook profile. But you can I actually went for a walk at sunrise this morning around the lake, the park by my house and I take I like wake up at 5am and take pictures of the sunrise and it's just it's everything. It's yeah.

Scott Benner 41:03
How hard is it? It's five o'clock?

Jacqueline 41:05
Um, it was what 82 Okay, this morning at 5am. So it's not too bad right now, because it's monsoon season. So we're getting like rains. and stuff.

Scott Benner 41:17
I like when people from different places say things that they think sound normal, like it's triple digits hot and it's monsoon season. You're like, you know, because it's monsoon season. I'm like, oh, yeah, sure.

Jacqueline 41:29
That's just basically when were pelted with like these months, students are crazy. We had two trees ripped out of our front yard that were like 10 years old.

Scott Benner 41:37
You're explaining a scenario where I would run. Like, I gotta go somewhere else where there's no monsoon season, if at all possible.

Jacqueline 41:48
Well, I visited my friends in California a couple of weekends ago. And she gave me a hard time because I had to wear a jacket to the beach. Because I was like chilly. And I like I just I couldn't live anywhere else. Because I you know if it's anywhere around 70 or below, forget it like I'm freezing.

Scott Benner 42:09
I've only been to Arizona once I was in and out very quickly. But it was nice. But I was there to a reasonable time of year. Although, now that I'm thinking of it. When I landed. We had to take alternate routes to where I was going because some of the streets were flooded. Yeah, yeah. So you don't it doesn't handle rainwater well, either, right.

Jacqueline 42:30
Not too great. So historically, there is a history of flooding we had we haven't seen we haven't had anything too horrible in recent history, but Gotcha. Well, the town I live in has like walls built to just in case.

Scott Benner 42:48
You're painting a photo for people. No one's going to move to Arizona after you describe it.

Jacqueline 42:53
So hopefully we're like the fastest growing one of the fastest growing places in the country. So that's fine if people stopped moving here.

Scott Benner 43:00
Only because of the equine therapy industry. Taking Yeah, wow, fire trucks. That doesn't happen very often here. Can you hear that? No, no, my microphone is so good. It, it takes my voice and blocks everything else out. Okay, so she's struggling a little bit. Is that fair?

Jacqueline 43:24
Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 43:25
How does that how does that present itself? Like, what side of that? Do you see? Like I know, you said she holds things inside. She needs help. She's having trouble expressing herself. But what does it look like to you from the outside?

Jacqueline 43:39
I'm getting just reactions that don't match the situation. Sometimes we're being upset and not knowing why. I'm crying and not knowing why sometimes. So and not wanting to do things that she previously wanted to do, she gives up very easily. We tried doing school last year in person with diabetes, that was a nightmare. It was a it was a really hostile situation with the administration at that school. So I didn't want to deal with them again. But I left it up to my daughter, you know, I would do it for her if that's what she needed, you know, but she hated that. I mean, they pulled her out of school seven, eight times, 678 times a day sometimes to check her blood sugar and just refuse to use Dexcom to follow her at all. Like I was so excited when we got the technology and like oh, she could be in class least restrictive environment. And they're just like, which is funny because the school really touts like technology. But they're, oh no, you know, it's gonna make us liable Whatever. So instead of just looking at a screen to see her numbers, they wanted to bring her into the nurse's office, you know, before and after every meal before and after PE and recess, you know, beginning of the day end of the day and you know, and I before and after everything

Scott Benner 45:17
they were finger sticking her like nine times a day when she was wearing a CGM.

Jacqueline 45:21
No, baby, they wanted her to physically leave the classroom and go report to the nurse what her CGM said,

Scott Benner 45:27
why does that matter? I don't understand. Yeah. Instead of the nurse having access to it,

Jacqueline 45:36
yeah. And we donated $400 to the school, so they could get a tablet. And they happily took my money knowing exactly what it was for and then refused to buy one.

Scott Benner 45:46
Oh, are they playing? When

Jacqueline 45:48
I went into questions, I wanted to ask questions. And I talked to the principal for the first time and I had never talked to this person never really met the principal, except for maybe like in the beginning when we had the meeting, but I had never like had a one on one conversation with her. And I went in there to like ask for her help. Right? I I know how to deal with people. I was in customer service for ever. Like I, I'm not like some crazy person, right? And she's like, Oh, we could talk about this in my office. And I was like, Oh, great. I could to try to talk to her. I slipped I talked to her. We sit down. And she was Well, first of all, you need to calm down. And though the first thing she said to me, and I'm like, Oh, she and she. And she was like talking down to me like an angry teacher, like a bad teacher would talk to us. And she's like, every time you come in here, you have an attitude. She said that to me. And I have no I, I had

Scott Benner 46:51
never spoken to her before. I have never spoken

Jacqueline 46:53
to her before. I felt like I was being nice to everybody. I felt I was doing the best I could I I never said a negative thing to worry about anybody. And I brought in baked goods when they asked me to when I brought, you know, gifts at Christmas time. And I'm like, I thought it I know I'm not like, maybe I'm just not a likable person, like, but like she was telling me to this woman was telling me like, she doesn't like me, you know, and I'm and I'm sitting there asking for help for my kid. And she's like, we're doing everything we need to do. And we're not legally obligated to do this, this or that. And, you know, we're doing what we can do to keep your daughter safe. And she was so hostile, I started shaking, and I started crying. And I left and

Scott Benner 47:42
I would have taken I would have taken $400 worth of office supplies out of her office when I left.

Jacqueline 47:48
She followed me into the front office from her office and kept going at me. And I don't remember what she said, because my ears were ringing. And I turned around and I yelled at her. And I said, stop talking you don't know how to talk to people. I yelled at her. And I got in my car. And I was like, a mess. I couldn't drive because I was shaking and crying so hard. I was just there to ask for help. Right. And I was so viciously attacked. And, um, I tried to I went online to try to find somebody that this woman was accountable to is a public charter school. So they're not part of a district. And I couldn't find anybody. I couldn't find anybody to reach out to for help. And I almost pulled my kids out of school that day. So, but I'm like, okay, you know, get your head straight, calm down, cool off. And I did I calm down and cooled off. I sent her an email a couple of you know, the next day, saying like, you know, these are the things you said that made me feel this way. And I would recommend maybe not using this verbiage with other parents in the future. I put it all in writing. And she, you know, she came back and she emailed me back and apologized if that's how I felt. And she said, I just I have a history of going in there and questioning what they're doing. And criticizing them she said, which I didn't feel like was the case at all. So but I'm sorry for asking questions. This is all I'm just trying to help my kid to you know, so

Scott Benner 49:33
not knowing you for more than 45 minutes. I I'm thinking that she didn't like being challenged and they didn't want to expand what they do because then it opens them up to liability and it opens them up to having to provide those services for other people in the future. So

Jacqueline 49:50
yeah, and the funny thing is, is when when Bellwood and she, you know your first year, you're gonna be all over the place and maybe you're all over the place all the time, I don't know. But there were times where she was really high. And there were times where she dropped fast. And those the times that she dropped fast, were not the times the nurse had her check in. So, right, having that extra security to me, is less liability. To me, if you told me no, I'm not going to monitor your daughter, and then my daughter has a seizure, because you're not monitoring her. Right? That's when I'm going to get a lawyer. That's what I'm going to sue you for not doing what I told you needs to be done to monitor her. Yeah. So how is it more liability? Well, to to have that information,

Scott Benner 50:37
the way it's more liability, if you look at it just from their side, is that saying that you'll do it in first that you'll stop that the problem from happening in their mind, instead of just saying like, you know, we'll do our best to monitor this. If by the way, my phone is silence that I don't get a an alarm or something or I walk away from my tablet, and I don't hear that that's what they're worried about is that you then your kid has a problem. And then you say, well, we gave you the tablet, you were monitoring it, how did you let this happen? This is your fault. Like, so it's just it's liability. It's like everybody trying to

Jacqueline 51:12
say things. So common sense that, you know, I understand that there's going to be human error. There's human error when she's with me, I'm monitoring it at home as well. Right? You know, but if an extra set of eyes, I'm sure would have been nice.

Scott Benner 51:28
It's all common sense, right up until somebody can sue somebody, and then everybody hides in the corner and covers there as

Jacqueline 51:35
well. I hope that they get sued for not having it. Like they're going to show me, to me like declining, declining us. Declining, the technology that would help you to keep a child safer, is putting that child in more danger.

Scott Benner 51:49
Yeah. But that, you know, that's a coin flip at schools, whether or not somebody's going to want to follow or not.

Jacqueline 51:55
I know. Yeah. It's which is why, which is why we're learning online this year, because I can't, I can't fight I don't want to fight anymore. And I'm well, and she she chose it to she was tired of it too. I'm hoping by the time she gets to middle school, that she will be self sufficient enough to not need help at all from the NURSE

Scott Benner 52:24
Are there? Are there not other school options for you? Or will she at middle school be in a different system by then.

Jacqueline 52:36
So I could put her in another elementary school. It's funny, I was thinking about putting her in this one that was supposed to have this great nurse and then the nurse quit right beforehand. And it's just the turnover right now is through the roof. And the staffing right now is really bad. So I feel like even if I did find the perfect situation, there's no guarantees that that person would even stay.

Scott Benner 53:00
Yeah. Are you do you work full time?

Jacqueline 53:03
No, I work part time. I teach online.

Scott Benner 53:07
Okay. Is there a world where you? But you were watching though, right? While she was at school? Yeah, yeah.

Jacqueline 53:15
Yeah, I was I was managing from home and I was going in there like maybe once a week and, and it was stressful, because she has a T slim now as well. And she doesn't always respond to her alarms. And so I was having to call the school and just trying to do everything from home. It was just a lot. I was just, it was a lot.

Scott Benner 53:37
Yeah. So because what I was thinking was isn't Wouldn't it have been possible for just like, we'll take these check in times that the nurse wants, and you'll check at those times?

Jacqueline 53:49
Well, and that's why did towards the end of the school year. Because it was getting so out of hand, she was missing so much class. I got with my endo team, and we got a new health plan together that says she has never to go to the nurse unless if she's below 60. Or she doesn't feel good, or she wants to go to the nurse, right? So we essentially kind of fired the nurse. And that's when I started doing everything 100% from home, which again, it's like, it was still a lot. And she's still she's very self conscious about her pump beeping so sometimes she would turn those off. Or if she's in the middle of a project or in the middle of doing something she didn't want to deal with it. I have to call the front office, they have to go get her.

Scott Benner 54:36
How often was that happening?

Jacqueline 54:39
Maybe once or twice a week in the school doesn't

Scott Benner 54:42
have phones. You had to call the front office they had to go getter. They couldn't just call the room and say hey, send Bell Well, I would try calling

Jacqueline 54:49
her cell phone and sometimes she wouldn't answer and the worst was when she was at recess. I tried to get the teacher to hold on to the phone but she didn't understand like how to answer it or whatever like Oh gosh.

Scott Benner 55:02
Again, you do not work for the Arizona travel council or whatever. I'm not I love

Jacqueline 55:08
Arizona but our education system is is is, is it's very, very tough. And in Arizona, even teachers at charter schools don't even need to have degrees or certificates. So. And I went to school for education, and I'm telling you a lot of the teachers with degrees even. So

Scott Benner 55:34
let me tell you something. My mom is in a place where she lives in a place where they're monitoring her care. Okay, yeah. And two days ago, I'm talking to her, and I'm like, how's everything going, mom, and she's like, My blood pressure's high. And I was like, okay, so it was high enough to be concerning a bit high for a couple of days. So what are they doing? She said, Well, they gave me more blood pressure medication. And I was like, okay, is the doctor seeing, you know, they just gave me more blood pressure medication. I said, is that working? She said, No. I was like, okay, so I call the nurse and I say, Hi, my mom's blood pressure has been very high for four days. She's 80 years old. What are we doing? Well, they gave her more medicine. I said, is that working? And she goes, No, doesn't seem to me. And I said, Okay, I said, Okay, so what are we going to do? Now? She goes, Well, we'd like to wait a little longer. I said, Well, why don't we talk to a doctor? And so I said, I think maybe we'd want to speak to her physician who's making the decisions about the medication. Can you talk to the doctor for me? She goes, Sure. And I said, When can I call back to see what the doctor said? She was called back in 24 hours. I was like, okay, that's me saying, I know you're not going to call the doctor. Right. So I call back in 24 hours, I get her back on the phone, and I say, hey, What'd the doctor say about my mom's blood pressure? Oh, you know, I usually bump into him during the day, but I just haven't seen him today. So I haven't spoken to him yet. I was like, Oh, okay. Well, it's been 24 hours. Can you go speak to him? Now? She goes, Sure. I'll call you right back. I was like, great. I'll wait for your call. So she calls back and says the doctor upped her blood pressure medication again. And I was like, Oh, my God. I said, isn't that? And she goes, Uh huh. And I was like, what kind of doctor is he? And she goes, he's a GP. I said, so he's a general practitioner. It's a great isn't. What did the cardiologist say about this? And she starts flipping through. She goes, Well, your mom's never seen a cardiologist for this. Oh, my God, and I go, don't you think that'd be a good idea? She has a pacemaker, say two years old is just went through chemotherapy or blood pressure's up. It's high. It's consistently high, don't you think? And then the woman started covering her ass. The nurse, I was listening to her cover her ass while we were talking, you should probably talk to her doctor. Because I don't know the answers to these questions. I'm like You sure you do you see, or five times a day? You take her blood pressure every time you do No. So she doesn't take her blood pressure and see a problem and go, Oh, I have to help Bev. She says, I have to document this, because that's what keeps me out of trouble. And then I told the doctor now it's his problem. And so I said, Well, we're letting the GP make decisions about this. It doesn't make sense. She was well, I don't know, I'm not aware of his complete training. I said, You think he's a GP? And he's privately a cardiologist and keeping that a secret from everybody. And she and she's like, well, I don't know. You have to call him. So I call him. I say, Hey, I hear about my mom, blah, blah, blah, what are we doing? He goes, Well, I doubled her blood pressure medication. I said, is that working? And he goes, No. And I said, well, she's on a medication for pain. I said, a tiny bit of googling tells me that could cause high blood pressure. Well, she's been taking that for a while. So that wouldn't be it. I said, Are you sure? Why don't you try cutting it back and see what happens? Because if you just take a pill from her from it for a day, and see if maybe her blood pressure goes down? Why don't we try a little bit? Well, I don't think that's it. I was like, Yeah, but why don't we try it anyway? And he goes, Okay, I'll look at that. And I'm like, All right. And I said, and what about our senior cardiologist? And he goes, Yeah, she hasn't seen a cardiologist for this. And I went, do you think she should? And he goes, here, that's a good idea. I'll set that up. Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll say at least he didn't fight you on it. It's because I'm like, were you sat in the office, you're like, she's yelling at me. I was like, and you kind of you kind of crawled up. That's when I blossom. I'm at like, you guys know me like 47% You know what I mean? Like, I love being in fights, like this is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Jacqueline 59:41
Normally, I'm creating a confrontation. I don't know what it was, I don't know if it was just the subject matter of it, you know, and the it being about this and just just how overwhelmed and taken off guard and like I I've never been treated that way by anybody that's worked anywhere and to have the principal of your child's school treat you that way. I mean, I was in just such state of shock.

Scott Benner 1:00:07
Yeah. I I'm still pissed that we don't haggle over car prices anymore. We're buying cars. So it's one of my favorite things to do like every five years. Well, that's

Jacqueline 1:00:15
what I used to do. I was a sales manager at a Ford dealership. And I worked for Ford for four years. Then it was an internet manager at Nissan for two years. And I loved negative. It's my favorite. Yeah, it's so fun to negotiate and haggle. And

Scott Benner 1:00:33
we were young, we left and my wife's like, we argued for three hours and saved $1,000. I was like, you know, it's amazing, right? She's like, did it matter? And I was like, I don't know, I had a great time. Making

Jacqueline 1:00:43
$333 an hour. I know, he made $333.

Scott Benner 1:00:48
I'm like, I'm killing it here. You know. But so so then I so but think about this. The no one has my mom's best interest at heart in this story, except for me, right? And everyone is willing to do bare bones, basic, whatever it is, one nurse said to me, I swear to you, well, your mom is older and she has heart problems. And I was I said, Yes, she goes, heart problems don't get better, they get worse. And I went, okay.

Jacqueline 1:01:19
So to get better.

Speaker 1 1:01:21
Let's just say she's right. We're done. Are we done with her now? Like, why are we going to, we should just push her in the dumpster? Is that is that this like, you're not gonna try to do something? Because like, she just spent the last year of her life, defeating cancer. And now you're gonna tell me her blood pressure got higher, and oh, well, it's over now. Like, she actually said it to me in that tone. Well, like this, you know, this isn't gonna get better. And I was like,

Jacqueline 1:01:46
I'm like, probably She's probably just so jaded. She, she,

Scott Benner 1:01:50
she's the one in charge. She's, she's my mom's frontline defender, you know? And then I get to the doctor, and he think about this. If my mom seeing a cardiologist was a good idea, why did I have to call and say it? Because it was not going to happen if I didn't call? That doesn't make any sense, right? Yeah, right. So you think that that principal is going to put her ass out in the sunshine for you? No way. Not in a million years. If your kid has to go learn in her bedroom for three years, so that she keeps her job, then that's what's going to happen. That's it. That's what happened. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't see this as being cynical, by the way. And I'm certain that there are plenty of people. And

Jacqueline 1:02:35
that's not the only layer to this, either, is she's really struggled in math. And I didn't realize the extent of it until COVID hit and I actually saw how she struggled in math. Yeah. And that's one thing she would cry about a lot last year. And when I would go to her teacher, I would get nothing. And so I like she needs help in math. And you know, a lot of kids when they're bad at math, it's like, okay, just don't get a job that has math in it. But it's like, no, you have to understand how numbers work to manage your health care for the rest of your life. Like you can't just not understand how numbers work, you know,

Scott Benner 1:03:14
exactly. And also not for nothing. But bailing on a 10 year old as unhelpful around math is silly. Like, well,

Jacqueline 1:03:20
and that's not what happened. What happened is I would call and ask how she's doing. And the teacher would say, Well, I don't know, she doesn't really raise her hand. She doesn't know she's struggling, because she doesn't raise her hand and ask and tell her that she's struggling. And I'm like, Okay, well, you know, she's not able to do any homework, and she's crying, but she feels like she's stupid, a sweat in class, and everybody else gets it, and she's not getting it. And I was like, I think she has a learning disability and math. And I said that repeatedly. I think she has a learning disability. Well, we don't really have any, any inner any programs to to do anything about that. Well, it wasn't till the end of the school year where somebody told me no, you have to put in writing, I'm officially requesting that she gets tested for learning disability. Okay, I send them an email and in writing, but it was too close to the end of the school year. So like, we'll do it. But when school starts, I'm like, Oh, great. Do

Scott Benner 1:04:10
you see that if we take that little parable that you just told me and pull out the words math and put in high blood pressure and a couple of other things? It's the exact story about me talking to the doctor about Yeah, right.

Jacqueline 1:04:22
It's just it's just, it's just complacency. And I'm, I'm sorry that, you know, I'm, that's, you know, I just I have higher expectations of people. And it's,

Scott Benner 1:04:33
yeah, my point isn't that it's, it's specifically in healthcare, or specifically in education. It's specifically in people that are like, listen, there's a process here. I am following the process. You have not written down the words you just said to me, and I'm not legally obligated to tell you that if you write it down, that we can get our help, or I don't know or whatever. And so it's a checklist.

Jacqueline 1:04:56
It's well there's there's there's two kinds of people. There's people that go to work and they go with emotions and they collect their check. And then there's people that are passionate about what they do and take pride in their work, and are there to really do the right thing and be helpful. And unfortunately, in my daughter's case, she's really been experienced to that first type of person in education, and health care. She's been very lucky, right? You know, and I could be here telling you the opposite story. She could have fantastic, you know, school and horrible hospital. And there's people with that, too. But in this case, we've had the complacency on the school side, and I don't even want to roll the dice to deal with that, again, because I've done so much I started reading again. I know she has dyscalculia dyscalculia is math learning disorder. That's about as common as dyslexia. But it affects a certain part of the brain. And I've been with, I listened to every podcast, and I've read everything I could about it. And it explains why she didn't learn how to ride a bike until she was nine. It explains why she has trouble understanding how time works, and how money works. And all this other stuff, like with numbers are really difficult for her to comprehend. And so her online schools gonna be testing her for dyscalculia. But, again, after my research, I'm like, Okay, this is, I'm so relieved. I'm like, Oh, my God, I can we could actually do something about this week, there's actually like, a try. There's actually, you know, processes, we can, you know, combinations and tools to use to help people. And there's a lot of adults this that, that suffer from dyscalculia that but nobody knows about it. They just feel like they're, they're dumb, and they're not.

Scott Benner 1:06:45
You know, how money works is one of the signs that I might know a lot of.

Jacqueline 1:06:49
Yeah. I love but it's sad. I mean, because my daughter is she's very, very bright. And she reads like a fish. She reads all the time. And she writes all the time. And she's very intelligent. But when it comes to numbers, they just, her brain just doesn't process them. For everybody else. And, and with diabetes, that's scary to me, you know? So like, she needs to understand number concepts.

Scott Benner 1:07:18
I'd also like to see her have a little savings when she's older. That'd be nice, you know?

Jacqueline 1:07:23
Well, it's not necessarily about like managing money. It's more so like calculating change and understanding amounts. And really like that

Scott Benner 1:07:31
time, how does time fit into it?

Jacqueline 1:07:33
Well, basically, especially like second through fifth grade, that's when kids are learning like all these different number models. So you know, you count in base 10. But when you when you do time, you're in base 12. You know, and then when you're talking about dollars, you're in base 100. And you're learning about all these different measurements, right? And a ruler is 12 inches, and there's 30 days in a month, and there's 12 months and a year, and I'm just kind of getting to remember all these different base value systems is really tough to

Scott Benner 1:08:10
to for some people, it just happens. And then for some people, it doesn't, right, okay.

Jacqueline 1:08:15
It's a physical brain thing. We're like a certain part of their brain on one side isn't communicating, you know, so in these people, one of the podcasts they listen to, they were saying, when you give these people calculations, when they try to do calculations, the language center in their brain lights up. And so the math center, so super interesting. It's just like, it's a different, different way of thinking.

Scott Benner 1:08:41
Now, listen, everybody's not going to think exactly the same way. But you could have the basics and somebody could help you, especially when you're 10 years old. That just makes sense. So I you know, I don't I listen to your making the sound like I can't even make fun of Canada anymore. This is what Arizona is.

Jacqueline 1:08:59
Like, there's it's not it? Well, you know, it's everywhere. And there's there's there's great schools, I'm sure we're in Arizona, there's great schools in Arizona, and there's horrible schools in Arizona, and there's great schools everywhere and horrible schools everywhere, I'm sure except for maybe some places don't have poor schools because everyone there thinks education is important. But here Oh.

Scott Benner 1:09:22
All right, Jack. Well, listen, let's start talking about whether or not we got to everything you want to talk about. So I'm gonna look, you've said some things in your notes that have not come up at all. Yeah, so wait a second. You've recently got married?

Jacqueline 1:09:41
I got married in April.

Scott Benner 1:09:43
Oh, okay. All right. That is very recently.

Jacqueline 1:09:46
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:09:48
So there's so there's that that that must be difficult for kids to like. I mean,

Jacqueline 1:09:53
well, we were already living together for a few years before that. So it wasn't really too bad. It was just a party didn't really change our lifestyle or anything.

Scott Benner 1:10:03
Okay, I understand. Alright, that makes sense. All right, well, then let's let me ask, is there anything we haven't talked about that you wanted to talk about?

Jacqueline 1:10:12
That you have been we haven't talked about was the custody thing? And

Scott Benner 1:10:20
how well how does custody work for you?

Jacqueline 1:10:24
Ah, so, right now it's kind of 5050. With school being back in session, it's 5050 for my son, who's in middle school, and then for my daughter, it's, she's here everyday during the day, and then she's with him three to four nights a week. So I, my daughter's here a lot more.

Scott Benner 1:10:49
How does how does? How was the custody issue with the diabetes.

Jacqueline 1:10:53
So my ex is a recovering alcoholic. And he. So he's been, he's been doing great for a very, very long time. So but it's just kind of one of those things where once you have that, in you, it's like any addiction, right? There's always a chance of something happening. So when when my daughter was diagnosed, my ex was already going through a lot with his he had family members. He actually had a family member that went into the hospital the day before. belted my daughter did. And he had another family member that was having that he needed to help with because the other family members in hospital. So he had a lot going on. And then the thing happened with my daughter. So I was really worried for him that, you know, that could trigger something. And then about a month after. So it's so for me, like as a mom, like even before diabetes, there's just kind of always this like, like if something happens, like if this if his wife were to leave him or if something were to happen to his parents, like I was worried like he could start again. And what happened was,

Scott Benner 1:12:17
yeah, how does that impact like day to day stuff?

Jacqueline 1:12:22
Well, it wasn't well. So his wife, like I said, is amazing. And she handled a lot of the diabetes stuff, especially at first when he wasn't really able to process it because he was going through a lot. But about a month after she was dying. She went on vacation, like she left for the weekend, and left him home alone with the kids. And I got a phone call from the kids crying and terrified because he was very intoxicated, and they didn't feel safe. And so I had to pick them up and file a police report and do all this stuff. And my son had to give my daughter her Lantis shot, which he had never done before.

Scott Benner 1:13:11
Oh, Jacqueline, you broke up.

Jacqueline 1:13:14
It's not that she wasn't under stupid. She can. Like she could be thinking six and right a nine.

Scott Benner 1:13:20
You broke up again, your your son had to give your daughter Lantis. And

Jacqueline 1:13:25
yeah, and my you know, my daughter isn't, even though she likes to give herself the shot, I always want to double check that it's the right dose, because sometimes she can think one number and write down another number. So she can mix up numbers very easily. And my son has never done this. And I wasn't even sure he knew how much to dose her. So that was happening. So I had to go pick them up. I was actually at my parents house, we drove across town. I had to file a report and go back to court and get more testing done. And then he had to do some, some testing. So and he did and he went through everything and he and he got it back together. And she's his wife is like, I mean they're doing the best that they possibly can. And I can't and I'm grateful for that. But it's just it was just some an additional little trauma that she endured. So they've endured some she's endured some trauma. Yeah. So that's just a little it's kind of in the back of my mind if if she's not there will be take advantage of the situation and give in to those impulses.

Scott Benner 1:14:44
So it's kind of scary. That sounds scary.

Jacqueline 1:14:47
I mean, diabetes is scary. And I'm just and just as a mom, I don't know if all moms are like this but or parents are like this, but there's just a certain level of paranoia that I always have a certain level of like Worst case scenario with them that I always am, you know, is wondering. So it just kind of adds to that a little bit.

Scott Benner 1:15:12
I think I understand. Yeah, it's a rough situation. Yeah. I mean, even on your son who all of a sudden got thrust into like, I'll I guess I'm gonna give her this shot, you know, is uh, I mean, I'm it sounds like they took care of it, but the circumstances make it. It's not a triumphant feeling under those circumstances.

Jacqueline 1:15:33
Right? Yeah. That's yeah. Well,

Scott Benner 1:15:38
alright, Jacqueline, listen. I don't want to say your life to show but it's not great.

Jacqueline 1:15:44
I have a great life. Wonderful. I'm, I have a wonderful, wonderful kids, I am madly in love with my husband. I'm, I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to be here with my daughter, and I don't have to keep fighting with the school while I'm at a full time job. You know, so I have got a lot to be grateful for, though, for

Scott Benner 1:16:03
sure. No, I was teasing. There's and who wouldn't be somebody about that? I just I was like, it's just it's a heavy conversation. Get it? I mean,

Jacqueline 1:16:11
yeah, yeah, it is. It's

Scott Benner 1:16:16
because especially, I mean, listen, the alcoholism aside, if, if a couple of people in your life just wanted to do a slightly better job, or be a little more valuable to the people around them, the most of these big problems you have just wouldn't exist. And it would take such a tiny bit of effort on their part to, to remove a lot from your shoulders and from your daughter. And, and everything, you know, and it's, that's what's frustrating to me, is

Jacqueline 1:16:49
Oh, yeah, if, oh, if she was able to go to school, I would be teaching in the classroom right now. Right? Right. It's just so you're in Arizona, where we have no teachers in the classroom. You know, there's such a shortage here, everyone's desperate for teachers. I can't be there. I can't teach in a classroom right now. Because my daughter has to come first. You know, if I knew she was safe at school, and they were watching her, and I could trust them, then I could be teaching in a classroom. But I'm not.

Scott Benner 1:17:19
It just doesn't seem like it would take that much for that to happen. You would think, yeah, it's a little bit of will, that's all like the will to do it. And, and that's most of it, I think they would find that the actual effort on their part would actually would go down, not not up, like, like actual effort put out would go down, safety would move up.

Jacqueline 1:17:43
And they have they had for type one diabetics in the school. So they had four kids doing this. So you know, multiply the number of nurse visits by four. And that's how many times she had somebody coming in interrupt or when all she could have put them off for on the tablet, and looked at the screen.

Scott Benner 1:18:01
I wonder if I wonder how much of it is, is job protection of like, well, if these kids don't come down here, then what do I do? Like I wonder if that ever popped into anyone's head? Well, there are

Jacqueline 1:18:13
two there were actually two nurses and one of the nurses was really great and open to it. And then the other nurses. Oddly, oddly clinging to their odd like clinging to this more. Yeah, and it's unnecessarily. It's like, it's like government, right? Like, like, like, Why do you have to make things more complicated difficult than they have to be? Like, just just make it easy on yourself? It sounds like the one there's a technology.

Scott Benner 1:18:44
Yeah, it just sounds like the one nurse is stuck in the way they do it.

Jacqueline 1:18:48
Yeah. And she and she took it. Oh, gosh, I can't tell you this. She said it's so personal. You know, stick is so personal when I wasn't happy with with the way they were doing it. Like she's missing too much class, she I you know, I want I would much rather her be remotely monitored. So she could stay in class. She's healthy, you know, and she she took it very personal. And after that confrontation happened with the principal. The next day, she didn't let me in her office, she picked her head out to talk to me, but the door closed around her head. And then like she was really hostile with me for the rest of the year like so much so because my son used to meet me at the nurse's office. He goes why is the nurse so mad at you? Like she was openly like yeah, like junior high level like junior high level like I can't stand you I'm not going to give you eye contact or smile in your direction. I'm going to frown and look in a different direction. And I I just It's just It's so wild to me like I don't I've never seen adults behave that way in any professional, any setting. I just

Scott Benner 1:19:57
that's it's incredibly unfair. It In the end, it's just incredibly unfortunate luck. You know, just bad luck that those are the people you ran into. Yeah, so I'm sorry. All right, Jacqueline. I appreciate you doing this very much with me. I really do. I I hope you had a good time even though we talked about some bummer stuff, but but I thought it was. I thought it was good conversation.

Jacqueline 1:20:20
Yeah, it's fun. Cool.

Scott Benner 1:20:23
Hold on one second for me, okay.

Well, Jacqueline did her part, didn't she? That was wonderful. And you know who else chipped in Omni pod Omni pod.com. Forward slash juice box, get yourself the Omni pod five or the Omni pod dash. It's up to you. You get to choose. But whatever you choose, choose it through my link, Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. I got a bounce in my voice. I'm getting on a plane tomorrow to go visit my daughter for a couple days for Parents Weekend. So I'm kind of excited. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. What else? Oh, wow. I gotta thank you for listening, of course remind you to tell other people about the podcast. If you're enjoying it. I mean, if you really love it, leave a five star rating and a beautiful review. Wherever you listen. Don't forget to check out the private Facebook group Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. Oh, you know what else to hold on? If you know some people with the type two diabetes, I just put out a great series about type two. Can you please let them know about it? We're trying to spread the word. So all I'm asking you to do if you don't know where to find this information, fair enough. That private Facebook group under the feature tab will have a whole list. And gosh, I want to say yes, here it is. You go to juicebox podcast.com. Click on the top type two diabetes. There's a whole menagerie there. And Azure, you have information for people who have pre diabetes, or type two. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for sharing. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Hey guys, just jumping in to remind you that one of our sponsors BetterHelp is offering 10% off your first month of therapy when you use my link better help.com forward slash juicebox. That's better. H e l p.com. Forward slash juicebox. Better help is the world's largest therapy service. It is 100% online boasts over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists and you can talk to them however you want text chat phone or on video. You can actually message your therapist at any time and schedule live sessions when it's convenient for you. Better help.com forward slash juicebox save 10% On your first month.