#809 5000 Ginger Cats

December 14, 2022Scott Benner

Becky's son has type 1 diabetes and Becky has some medical issues as well.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 809 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today on the show, I'll be speaking with Becky. She is the mother of Alfie who has type one diabetes. And Becky has some of her own health concerns as well. We're going to talk today about some depression that she had after giving birth. What it was like when her son was diagnosed, the disillusion of her relationship not soon after, and much more. This episode is a great Listen, that is only made better by Becky's amazing accent. While you're listening today, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. We're becoming bold with insulin. The T one D exchange is looking for US residents who have type one diabetes or are the caregiver of someone with type one. All they'd like you to do is fill out a survey. It takes fewer than 10 minutes to do so. And when you complete that survey, you've helped move diabetes research forward. You may have helped yourself. He definitely helped the podcast and you've done a nice thing. T one D exchange.org forward slash juicebox this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries G voc hypo penne Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox. This episode is also sponsored by Omni pod five, automated insulin pumping. That's tubeless that's what you're going to get with Omni pod five. Learn more and get started today at Omni pod.com forward slash juice box.

Becky Starkey 2:02
I'm Becky Starkey and I'm not a Marvel superhero despite what you think Scott. I'm 41 and I live in Hampshire in the UK. And I've got an almost 11 year old type one son.

Scott Benner 2:15
Does Alfie have any brothers sisters?

Becky Starkey 2:17
No own child?

Scott Benner 2:18
No. It's a nice way to grow up. I had it for five years. And then my brother Brian infiltrated and ruined everything but I was going along there pretty well for a while. Tell me

Becky Starkey 2:30
I'd have happily had a big family but it didn't work out. So he's the only one which is fine. It suits us.

Scott Benner 2:35
Okay, very nice. You and he you're on your own.

Becky Starkey 2:38
Yeah. On our own on our own or is he coming up? 11 So eight and a half years

Scott Benner 2:46
okay. Well yeah. Is there any autoimmune on his father's side of the family or yours?

Becky Starkey 2:53
His his father's half sister was diagnosed type one shortly after Alfie. But other than that a possible type one as a great great grandfather I think but it you know what it's like it's hard to get the actual information of is it type one or type two?

Scott Benner 3:12
This is both on our feast father's side?

Becky Starkey 3:15
No, the the great great grandfather is on my side.

Scott Benner 3:18
No kidding. Okay, well, I was gonna tease you for having a knack for picking them. But apparently.

Becky Starkey 3:24
Oh, I know how to pick him

Scott Benner 3:27
up. Have you ever tried the 180 degree idea where you identify a person who you really are attracted to and a person you're really not attracted to? And ask the person who you're not attracted to? Proving that you don't trust yourself to make the decision?

Becky Starkey 3:42
No, but I suppose it's a possibility in the future. It's

Scott Benner 3:47
a world it really

Becky Starkey 3:49
is. Two relationships, one of which was Alfie's father and my goodness, do I know how to pick them? So after that, I was I'm very happy to be on my own. And I'm incredibly choosy.

Scott Benner 4:01
I have a friend whose name I'll never mentioned on here, but I said to them one time, just when everything anything occurs to you just do the opposite. Whatever.

Becky Starkey 4:11
It's probably a good move in my case, whatever

Scott Benner 4:12
pops into your head tried to imagine the exact opposite do that this is this would be better for you. And he was like, alright, I'll keep making the same mistake. Whatever.

Becky Starkey 4:23
I'm gonna be great crazy cat lady and just have like 5000 ginger cats.

Scott Benner 4:26
Wait a minute. You only pick red haired cats.

Becky Starkey 4:31
Yeah, I've got two ginger cat so the best cat so I'm just gonna have like 5000 ginger cats.

Scott Benner 4:38
You're gonna smell like pee back in. You're not gonna No,

Becky Starkey 4:40
no, they don't do that in the house. Otherwise I definitely would not have 5000 ginger cat.

Scott Benner 4:47
Did you did you know you're probably just you probably just named the episode, right? ginger cat. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's a little early. I don't usually like to have it happen this soon but it's a strong contender early on.

Becky Starkey 5:01
Yeah, I like that I it's very unique. You won't get another

Scott Benner 5:04
top. Thanks. I mean, can you imagine if like five years from now somebody's like, you know, I just want to be by myself. Have about you know two three maybe 5000 ginger cats. I'll be like, Oh my god.

Becky Starkey 5:15
I'll tell you what if that's a male put him in touch 10,000 ginger cats together.

Scott Benner 5:24
This is delightful. Okay. How old was Alfie when he was diagnosed?

Becky Starkey 5:28
15 months very, very young.

Scott Benner 5:30
Oh, no kidding. I'm going to ask you a hard question now. And I apologize for doing so upfront. You asked, Do you think his diagnosis had anything to do with the dissolution of your relationship?

Becky Starkey 5:43
afterwards? I definitely think it had a bearing on him on him and his maturity to be able to cope with the situation. Yes,

Scott Benner 5:50
yeah. No, it doesn't seem were you guys? I'm doing the math here. You told me how old you are off air, which I'm not sure if you want. But were you in your late 20s When you were having a baby?

Becky Starkey 6:01
I was pregnant a 30. Yeah. He was. Was he? He's six years older.

Scott Benner 6:08
Okay. Oh, it's still a maturity problem. Boys do not? Well, yeah.

Becky Starkey 6:14
I was a, we were running pubs together. He was the chef and I did front of house. And then we got pregnant. And that job finished and I wanted to get out of the business. But I think he wanted to stay in the business. He didn't know how to get out. So he didn't know how to cope with actual life and be irresponsible.

Scott Benner 6:35
I see. You know, I've had a number of friends over the years work in restaurants. And they say that after hours, it's just a big orgy between the

Becky Starkey 6:43
employer it never went that far. But yeah, it was fun.

Scott Benner 6:46
I didn't mean all at the same time I misuse the word. I meant it was a little bit of a partner swap like it was one person one time the next person like it just was like your own. I guess it's late at night. And there's no one else around. So you're it's a it's a fish in a barrel situation, I guess. Am I right?

Becky Starkey 7:05
I don't know. I never experienced that side of it. He already had a business. When I went in with him. I was I was an accountancy. And I went into business with him. So we were together. So but we had a lot of fun a lot of late nights and way too much for it couldn't carry on when we had a child, obviously, it's just not the life for them

Scott Benner 7:24
work. So he just didn't adjust well, to the to the responsibility to what do you think the idea of having a baby that wasn't what he imagined was off point. I

Becky Starkey 7:38
think it just brought his true colors. It brought out the worst of him. And I think I didn't know him as well as I should have done when making that decision, because obviously life was fun and quite alcoholic. And when when you're not in that situation, you learn a lot about somebody. So yeah, not a great move. But the best thing I ever did having coffee, so that's fine.

Scott Benner 8:00
I understand. It's lovely of you to share the story. So thank you. So how long? Well, I guess not how long? What was the management style? Like, what did they give you for a 15 month old back then?

Becky Starkey 8:16
So we started on MDI and they encouraged the insulin pump. But both myself and his father were against it at the time, because he was so tiny. We just didn't like the idea of it being attached, which I think is quite common, isn't it? A lot of people feel the same. So we persevered with NDI. But the doses were just incredibly hard on him. They were just far too big. We had a lot of instability, some scary moments with ambulances being called him unconscious in my arms. Awful. So he went on an insulin pump. And he got it just before he turned to, which was amazing.

Scott Benner 8:56
Yeah, and so back then there. No CGM. Right, you were just meter. Yeah,

Becky Starkey 9:01
no, CGM. No didn't really know a lot about it. To be fair at that point. It was some. I mean, that would have been.

Scott Benner 9:08
I'm trying to think I think that's a little before Dec the first Dexcom, nine years.

Becky Starkey 9:13
We went on the jif. The g4 initially but that wasn't that was around when he was three. Yeah,

Scott Benner 9:20
yeah, that's my that was my point. I think you you had diabetes before we had Dexcom. I think. And it gets you a little slower to is that correct?

Becky Starkey 9:29
Yeah, we're a bit behind you. I see all the announcements about the Omnipod. Five yesterday, but we'll be well but well behind that. And

Scott Benner 9:37
it's tough. It's tough for these companies to get their products out of one country into another one. Just understand. Yeah. You need some British people to like want to make an insulin pump.

Becky Starkey 9:50
Yeah, that would be good. I don't know what's going on in the market. I don't know.

Scott Benner 9:55
Whether something or you know, just assume they're all in a pub late at night with vodka and they're not injured. Sit down.

Becky Starkey 10:01
It could well be the case nothing to do with me anymore, though.

Scott Benner 10:04
How do you learn about the podcast?

Becky Starkey 10:08
Um, I'd seen it because of the Facebook forums that I'm on. People. The name had come up a few times. I think I've listened to a couple of episodes. But the main thing was when I went to start looping in the first lockdown, so 2020, the lady who was mentoring me, she again, said, you know, have you listened to this? What do you think and just prompted me I had more time on my hands. So I got going into it more. It's very cool.

Scott Benner 10:39
Oh, that's excellent. I'm just always interested in how people find their way to it. The this morning, I got a request to enter the private Facebook group. And how did you hear about this from a friend of mine who has type two diabetes? And I felt very good about that. I was very, very excited that the word gets out that way. Yeah. So how many? I mean, how many years did you struggle with it in the beginning? Because having a an infant with type one, I mean, 15 months, you got me beat by, by a fair amount. Arden was 20. God, she was to just to you. I was gonna say maybe 25 months, but not even 25 months, she had just turned two years old. She only weighed 17 pounds. That was difficult. But yeah.

Becky Starkey 11:28
Um, yeah, it was, it was a massive shock. Because I think I think I explained to you in my initial email, I had postnatal depression as well. And I wasn't in a good place. So when Alfie was diagnosed, his father took on most of the responsibility. And I just assumed that everything was being done correctly, which I found out later. It wasn't. But I, I knew, you know, I knew what to do. I knew the basics, but I wasn't carb counting. I wasn't given the injections. He was the one supposedly checking him in the night, but he wasn't. And I didn't even consider looking at the finger stick meter to check that I just believed him. And it wasn't till you know, sometime later that I found out he wasn't being checked in the night. So yeah, he was just so tiny. And with the insulin pens only been able to give half a half a unit at one time. It was just incredible. He, the reason that I noticed there was an issue while he was diagnosed was he had incredible nappy rash. I guess, things were his blood was just or his body was just so acidic, because his blood was so high that it was causing horrendous nappy rash. And I taken him to the GP, the doctor and said, you know, something's up with my baby. And but just being told, you know, oh, no, he's just teething early. You know, he's, he's just doing well is teething taken away again. So I persisted with us for a good few weeks. I mean, Alfie was just crying all the time. uncomfortable, wouldn't sleep. You couldn't put him down. I mean, that's not unusual in a baby and it does fit with teething. So I looked online, as you do. Google, Dr. Google, and type one came up, and I read through it and I thought, surely not, you know, I knew very little about type one diabetes, as the most people. And I just wrote it off as in in a child's car. I thought that couldn't possibly be a thing. The nappy rash got worse. He got worse. I took him to a&e I was turned away and told there was nothing wrong with him. Same thing, probably teething. Couple of days later, I took him back to my local doctor and said, you know, there's definitely something wrong with my child. She said, it's probably a urine infection. This was on a Friday afternoon. Obviously, he was wearing nappy so it wasn't very easy. So she said, take, you know, take this sample bottle and bring it back to me on the Monday and we'll go from there. So I managed to get a sample off him over the weekend took it back on the Monday she dipped it and she just said you know, your child's got type one diabetes. I'll find the hospital now go home pack a bag you're gonna be staying in and it was like, wow. And it was it was shocking. I mean, I remember sitting there in in the room when he was diagnosed and the guilt I felt I felt so much guilt because I thought I caused it because when I was pregnant, I my craving was chocolate. And knowing so little about Taiwan, I assume that my cravings of you know, increased chocolate and sugar, cause type one and that took a little while to actually get that in my head that it wasn't me.

Scott Benner 14:55
Yeah, it doesn't work that way. Or my son would be a cheeseburger right now. Yeah.

Becky Starkey 15:01
It's amazing how many people go through that I see it on the forums all the time. It's It's sad that you know, there's so little knowledge about it.

Scott Benner 15:08
It's funny you bring it up because at the top of my email, my inbox right now, which I'm woefully behind on is a note from Erica who comes on and does the mental health stuff with me. And we're getting we're planning an episode right now about like, mom guilt and to talk. It's, it's, it's incredibly real. So you are at that, at that moment around diagnosis has your, your pre natal depression. Has that passed? Are you still dealing with that at the time?

Becky Starkey 15:43
No, I was still on antidepressants. It's still very much a thing. Yeah. Okay.

Scott Benner 15:47
So that was happening. You weren't being supported by. Were you married? At that point? I keep saying, No, we were engaged. But by by Alfie's Father, you're not being supported there. He's lying to you about what he's doing or not doing this care. That's unsettling. So you're you're in a really bad personal way. And in your heart, you think, well, at least at least this guy's got my kids back while I figured myself out. And then you find out that's not true. And then you blame yourself also, by the way, nappy rash? I'm sorry. Diaper rash? Yes. Okay. I thought I thought so. I was just making sure. I don't know if the kid was wearing a do rag, maybe you don't I mean, like old school, and had had some sort of a thing on the scene. I mean, like, like he's in a gangster film or something like that. It seemed unlikely. But so that's all happening. You start questioning yourself, your mind jumps right to that you a chocolate. So do you. Do you spiral at that point? Or do you rally at that point?

Becky Starkey 16:50
I think I just coped. I just went into a daze of doing what needed to be done with Alfie. I mean, I was the one that stayed in the hospital with him and I was the one doing all, you know, doing all the mums stuff, you know, the his, his father was there, but would come and go and then just kind of step in and look like he was doing all the hard stuff. But yeah. I don't know. I just coped. It was like a days it was like a dream. And then we were home and then we just coped again.

Scott Benner 17:26
And then Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and that kind of

Becky Starkey 17:29
Yeah, so they do. That's right. And then Alfie got his insulin pump just before he turned two. And then, about a month later, he and his, me and his father split up, and he left and that was it. And there was a couple of fleeting visits after that, and then that's it. He's, he's a well, you know, never to be seen again. So it was all It suddenly became my thing. It was like diagnosis all over again. And that was hard. It was like wow, this you know, I'd never lived on my own. And all of a sudden, I had a house to run a two year old and I had to take on tight one. You know, get my head around it and do everything on my own. I had no family locally, and we were new to the area we'd only moved into this house two months before he was gone. So I didn't know anybody there's it was all a bit Wow.

Scott Benner 18:25
Wow. No kidding. How do you how do you make money after he leaves?

Becky Starkey 18:33
I didn't I signed on to benefits because being a full time carer for Alfie, right. Now here in the UK, Alfie gets something called Disability Living Allowance for his tight one, and I get carers allowance. So that's it. Thankfully, I'm blessed that I haven't had to work. And unfortunately, now I'm at the point where I could go back to work because our fees coming up 11 It's, it's a real catch 22 situation here if I if I go back to work, I lose so many of my benefits that I couldn't even afford a standard home. I'd be in a in a bedsit with him. So it's in it's in our interest for me to continue on on the benefits until he turns 16 When they end it's it's an awful situation. You know, I've always worked my whole life until then. And I'd like to I want to teach Alfie the right values and I miss. I miss being around people, but it's just not a possible thing.

Scott Benner 19:35
Is there is there was there or any recourse legally to get child support? Or did his father really disappear? Like you can't he's not saying

Becky Starkey 19:47
he's gone. He's not paid a penny or there's not been a phone call or there's not been a birthday card. There's literally that's it?

Scott Benner 19:54
Wow. So you couldn't find him if you wanted to do anything even

Becky Starkey 20:00
I've found him. I know where he I know where he is. I follow online where he is roughly, just to be aware of how local he is. I've never chased for money because I don't want that man in my son's life. There's a lot that I won't say on here, but he's not a good person. And my son does not need him.

Scott Benner 20:20
I see. So the trade off between the finances.

Becky Starkey 20:23
Yeah, would be we can. We've got a good standard of living. We've got enough. We're happy.

Scott Benner 20:28
I see. I make sense. I was just trying to. Yeah.

Becky Starkey 20:32
Yeah, it's difficult because I don't want to start slicing him or sharing anything personal. But

Scott Benner 20:36
course not. No, no, I wouldn't want I'm not asking you to I just, I'm just trying to understand the, the theory because when he because when, when that happens when I mean, around here, if you bail on a lady around here, you know, you're getting served with papers, and they're gonna start garnishing your wages and things like that. Pretty quickly. That that was just what I was wondering.

Becky Starkey 20:56
Yeah, well, it's, it's, it is pretty a model that that guy hasn't paid a penny towards. And

Scott Benner 21:01
that's just, I hear you. My dad wasn't great about it either. So yeah.

Becky Starkey 21:06
I as I say, I'm good at picking him Scott.

Scott Benner 21:10
You would have done better. Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. I really do. All right, you You're fine. Let's go. Okay, so Well, the how long does the depression hang on to you? Or do you still live with it?

Becky Starkey 21:29
Well, just as his father was, you know, we were on the cusp of breaking up, we had one argument where he said to me, I'll have him taken away from you, you're a nutter? And I'm not. I'm not. I'm a perfectly good person. Yeah. And I said, Okay, fine arts, I stopped taking antidepressants. And I just came off them overnight, which I know is an incredibly dangerous and silly thing to do. But I made up in my mind that there would be no excuse in the world for that guy to ever get his hands on my son. So I came off them. I think the depression obviously did continue for some time, because so much was going on, and I had so much to cope with. So it wouldn't, you know, it didn't lift but I wasn't in an awful place. You know, I've had bad depression as a teen and this this wasn't horrendous, but it was. It was enough to be on antidepressants.

Scott Benner 22:24
And you think it was just a post here we thought postpartum you're hauling up post? Natal, but same.

Becky Starkey 22:30
Same thing, right? Yeah, it definitely was. Yeah, it was diagnosed by the doctor. Gotcha. It was, it was quite likely, unfortunately. Because I was had depressions in as a late teens and early 20s. So

Scott Benner 22:45
is Alfie ever seem depressed?

Becky Starkey 22:47
No, not at all. No, he's a he's a really good, happy, kid.

Scott Benner 22:52
Excellent. That's very nice. How do you think the diabetes part of this is all going nowadays in real, you know, in real time?

Becky Starkey 23:00
Amazing. I love loop. salutely love it. Two years. We've been on it now. And wow. I mean, we got good results with Omnipod and Dexcom. Because my level of micromanaging was so intense. But that just wasn't sustainable. Long term. You know, it was absolutely exhausting. And as for sleep, you know, I didn't even know what sleep was. So loop has just been an absolute life changer for for the pair of us because obviously he feels better too, because he's stable.

Scott Benner 23:31
Yeah. Talk a little more about that. So the lack of sleep, I don't think people pay enough attention to it. It's a big problem. It sneaks up on you it. It builds in a way that you don't notice until you're living, you know, like a wretched monster pulling at your own face and you don't realize what's happened to you.

Becky Starkey 23:53
It's sadly the lack of sleep had a big bearing on my health. So I was diagnosed with a condition called CVI D, nothing to do with COVID. It's common variable immune disorder. And I was diagnosed with that three years ago, because I'd been so incredibly ill. I'd spend about four or five years with back to back illnesses, colds, infections, and I'd put it down to the lack of sleep, you know, just sheer exhaustion. And I and my doctor had to they treated me you know, endless antibiotics. You know, I was basically on my knees. I couldn't stand to take a shower. I would get up in the morning and be sick. I was so ill, but nobody seemed to want to help. Nobody knew what to do. So they found eventually i i went in and practically got on my knees with my doctor and begged her to think about what was going on and she got blood tests that showed up that I had this condition And I now have monthly IVIG therapy, which is every month, I have to go to hospital and have intravenous plasma. And what that does is it replaces my immune system with other people's from a from a pool bank. So now I have an immune system, I'm not ill. So that's sadly they think that this sheer exhaustion was probably the Corizon. Yeah. Which I haven't. It's a very difficult one because I'd hate my son to blame himself for having type one and causing that, you know, he's such a switched on kid. So it kind of kept that quiet, but it probably would have developed anyway at some point, but I think the sheer exhaustion of type one definitely prompted

Scott Benner 25:50
is that is it trying to think of it's an autoimmune disorder or just a disorder of your immune system, which would be two different things.

Becky Starkey 26:00
I don't, I'm looking

Scott Benner 26:02
now. Common variable, immune deficiency and auto immune disease, a retro retrospective study of 95 adults. Common variable CVD is the most commonly clinical significant primary, immune immune deficiency in adulthood presents in a broad spectrum of clinical manifestations often including non infectious complications, addition to heightened susceptibility to infection. But I don't see anything about it being on I know that I don't really occurs and up to 30% of CVD patients and it is an emerging case of more Bewdley and mortality and this type of patient It's good isn't it? Sorry. Forget I read you that.

Becky Starkey 26:57
Yeah, not a great Gnosis but at the time, I was told it was either this or cancer. So I count my blessings. I'm happy to have this and receive treatment for it and much healthier.

Scott Benner 27:07
Yeah, based on this article. Immune complicate autoimmune complications, could include thyroiditis, celiac. Or threesome. Nodosum Raynaud's. Oh, Reno's. Yeah, alopecia. oral ulcers, that sounds fun. Immune, autoimmune. gastritis. Primary bipolarity Wow. Chalong get this. Don't get don't get that one. Because you don't have to learn how to say it. Do you have any other things that have happened since this diagnosis?

Becky Starkey 27:39
I've I've got bronchiectasis, which is scarring of the lungs. But that's because I had bronchitis pneumonia so many times. Which, yeah, that's linked. I do know that I'm more likely to develop other conditions. So there is a likelihood I could develop type one. My father and my grandfather has celiac. So that's also a risk. So yeah, I guess it is really all about it. Yeah. And

Scott Benner 28:05
it's interesting. When I said to you earlier, or other autoimmune, you're liking you were thinking about diabetes, but celiac exists in the family.

Becky Starkey 28:12
It does. Yeah, that's on my side. Okay.

Scott Benner 28:16
All right. Well, Becky skipped a little sideways here. But I think we can make our way through it. No, no, no, no, please. This is this is the lesson. If everyone came on this podcast, I was like, oh, Scott, the podcast helps me my one sees five for my time and range is 83% You're amazing. wouldn't be much of a podcast. We want to hear, you know, people's real stories and, and not not that, you know, not that most people will listen to this and have to think, Oh, this is gonna happen to me. It's obviously an incredibly uncommon thing and sadly fell on you. But I mean, it highlights some important ideas, right? I mean, already, we're half hour into this Becky, you want to know what we've learned so far? Gone. Here's what I've learned so far. I actually wanted to put the ads 10 minutes back, but it was just too good to wait for that. I love a nicer cliffhanger. When you have diabetes and use insulin, low blood sugar can happen when you don't expect it. G voc hypo pen is a ready to use glucagon option that can treat very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Find out more go to G voc glucagon.com forward slash juicebox G voc shouldn't be used in patients with pheochromocytoma or insulinoma visit G voc glucagon.com/risk.

So I went into the private Facebook group for the podcast Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, and I searched Omni pod five found this person posts where people were talking about I'm gonna get a pump. I don't know which one to get. What do you think? Here's just a couple of the things I'm reading in this post. This is from an adult I have been on for years. I just started on the pod five, and my blood sugars are so much better with it. The algorithm is just working better for me. And I love being tubeless. Here's one that says My son has been on pod five for four weeks and it has been amazing. I was in turmoil about which pump to get, but knew that I didn't want him to be connected to something. We started on the pod and have loved it. My son is 17 was diagnosed in August, and we got him the Omni pod five, and we love it. We don't have anything to compare it to, but it works so well for us. Even though he's still honeymooning, we're able to keep him in range 97% of the time. If you'd like to learn more about the Omni pod five for yourself, head over to Omni pod head over to Omni pod.com forward slash juice box and learn about the only tubeless automated insulin delivery system that integrates with the Dexcom G six CGM and uses smart adjust technology to automatically adjust your insulin delivery every five minutes, helping to protect against highs and lows without multiple daily injections. If you're not into automation, go check out the Omni pod dash. When you get there, look into whether or not you're eligible for the free 30 day trial of the dash, because you could be for full safety risk information and free trial terms and conditions. You can also visit omnipod.com forward slash juice box, go pick up the insulin pump that my daughter has been wearing her cheese since she was four years old, the Omni pod, there are links in the show notes to Omni pod, G fo Capo pen, and all of the sponsors, the show notes or just the little spot in your podcast app where there's like notes about today's episode, if you can't find that these links also exist at juicebox podcast.com. And when you click on my links, you are supporting the show and keeping it free and plentiful. And where else you're gonna hear somebody mispronounce plentiful that I say plentiful. Anyway, use my links. If you're gonna buy the stuff, please, I'd really appreciate it. Check out the Omni pod five, the Omni pod dash and Chivo Capo pen. Here's what I've learned so far. Yep. Don't make babies with people you don't really, really, really really know. That's one. If you can help if you can help it. I I've heard that. Postpartum is not that I didn't know, but I hear how serious it is. And then it would have been made much, much easier with some nice support, none of which that you had, but kind of astonishing and happy news is that even without that support in the middle of your son's diagnosis, you still you got through it. And yeah, I think that's really wonderful. You have an amazing relationship with your son as near as I can tell. And, yeah, we're gonna dig into his life more. And things happen. Sometimes you when you have autoimmune in your family, you might see more autoimmune. And that's valuable for people not to think about and worry about day to day, but to be aware of big picture, because when these things rear their head, if you're not quick to notice them and do something about them. You could lose years of your life to struggle, and that's just not necessary. And the cherry on the top of the I wish I knew any any baked good from your part of the world, but I don't. The cherry on top of the cake here is paying attention to your sleep. You have to have to sleep. I know you think you don't because your kids got diabetes now. But that's not right. You have to sleep. So that's where we're only a half hour into it. We figured all that out already.

Becky Starkey 33:54
Oh, he's just come home. So you might need to know. That's fine with me. He's easy. I'm stealth mode. He's just snuck in the back door.

Scott Benner 34:01
Do you think he really listened to you? You told him that this morning, and he still remembers it in the afternoon?

Becky Starkey 34:06
Yeah, that's quite remarkable for our feet.

Scott Benner 34:09
That's quite remarkable for anybody who's 11 years old, and more than we could expect from some men, right so or at least the ones you find Becky you know me very well already. Listen. I think every guy is some some version of what you've described. I think you just got just got a particularly bad one. That's all. Yeah,

Becky Starkey 34:34
no, he wasn't as bad as the first one, but we won't go.

Scott Benner 34:37
See you got trick. The bar was so low, Becky.

Becky Starkey 34:41
Yeah, you're right.

Scott Benner 34:44
You're like, Well, this one's way better.

Becky Starkey 34:48
5000 ginger cats for sure. No

Scott Benner 34:51
kidding. He didn't have red hair. Did he the man. No, no. Trying to see how deep your fetish runs. That's all okay. Not that deep. So let's talk a little bit about how you found an algorithm pump. And what drove you to it. It sounds like the lack of sleep drove you to needing something.

Becky Starkey 35:13
Desperation. Yeah. Well, I've obviously been on the online communities for some time. So I'd seen a lot about what was going on. I'd had a friend who was using open apps at the time, but still didn't know a great deal about it. But she was like, Oh, you need this, you need this. And it freaked me out a little bit, because it looks so technical. Then I looked at the market pumps, and they looked pretty cool. But Alfie was very happy with Omni pod. He likes Omnipod. And then I went to friends for life in the UK with him and sat through a session on loop. And it really inspired me and I thought, wow, you know, I think I can actually do this money was a bit of an issue, obviously, because you've got certain layout for your Reilly link. And my, I didn't have a Mac or anything. But I gave it a go and with with help from the online community, and obviously this amazing mentor, which I think she's had a podcast for you not so long ago. So she, she basically mentored me for a whole year to get the settings, right. And we just absolutely love it. We're the only ones in our hospital that use it. And the consultants weren't, weren't that into it to start with, uh, one of them wasn't he was quite wary and said, you know, this could be really dangerous, you know, we can't support you, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay, that's fine. We'll run with this. I want to give it a go. And now they just love it. When we when we go in there. They just look at the look at the data and they just go Wow. You know, we don't know what to say, keep doing what you're doing, you know, is it's been really nice to be able to get it working, as it does. And, yeah, it's just an amazing system. I just highly recommend it to anybody. And I know it's daunting, and you will need some help with it. But go for it. Absolutely.

Scott Benner 37:10
You're saying that Gina helped you for a full year. Wasn't Gina

Becky Starkey 37:13
It was a lady called Nancy. Nancy Testa heart.

Scott Benner 37:17
No kidding, Nancy, it wasn't Gina I thought for sure. When you said had been on the program recently. I thought it was going to be Gina.

Becky Starkey 37:24
She's an absolute star. Oh, that's

Scott Benner 37:26
amazing. Somebody that stuck with you online a stranger and helped. Yeah, helped you? Wow. Yeah. Amazing, lady. That's really wonderful. So did you use any of the episodes on the podcast? Like the fox in the loop house stuff? Or any of that?

Becky Starkey 37:43
Yeah. Like, like, I like Kenny. Really useful stuff. I really appreciate that being there. Good. Good. Gives you some confidence. And I know that you've also tried it with Arden. And it was yeah, it's just good to hear other people's experiences.

Scott Benner 37:56
Oh, for sure. Well, I mean, Barton sleeping, right. The second. So yeah. Actually, you know, Becky, this will go up so long from now that I can tell you this, I just will remind you, as I'm saying it to you, that I have a non disclosure agreement that I have signed with the company. So please, just keep this in your little head when it's over. Don't go to the interwebs and everything. But as you may know, and you mentioned earlier, yesterday, on Monday, the limited market release of the Omni pod five shifted into another aspect of it so I don't think it's over. But it's it's widening greatly. And they started reaching out to people to let them no people who by the way used by link to tell on the pod they were interested in on the pod five and got on a list are now hearing back I'm just saying click on the links people because you never know what can happen. But I've been working this out for a week or so with on the pod and, and I actually got an email this morning that the that they're hunting down the prescription that our needs and that they are getting Arden's product out to us pretty quickly. So we're gonna, we're gonna try on the pod five very quickly to announce. For me, the way I see it super simply like I mean, I've I've never used control IQ. I've never used whatever it is that Medtronic has. I've used the loop, do it yourself. Get it offline, download it yourself, make the app yourself. I'm an app developer somehow, etc. Loop. It is so far the greatest thing I've ever seen for managing itself. Absolutely. stunningly, just amazing. Now, it has drawbacks. One of them would be that at the moment this system I'm using needs what you call the Reilly link we use the orange link but it needs something that helps pardons phone the app on the phone talk to the Omni pod. Yeah, It's a pain in the butt. Not gonna lie. She doesn't like it. It's not exciting. So on the pod five won't need that. That's a little exciting to me that might not be needed. Now we

Becky Starkey 40:10
got the Dash was needed either they're doing the building loop at the moment with Dash and you won't need a Riley link or nine shank back

Scott Benner 40:17
either jumping ahead my story but yes, right right now some lovely people online are cracked open the on the pod dash or whatever that means, you know, digitally and they are setting up a loop to work with that. I think from what I hear that's going to be it's they're doing their own beta testing right now. So yeah, looks good. Yeah. So that's exciting. And I want to try on the pod five. If on the pod five works for Arden the way we want it to. Yeah, amen. It's easy, it comes from the company, I don't need to be an app developer. Done. If I get that. Yeah, if we try it, and we think, Ah, I like loop better. That's not to me. To me, that's not an indictment of Omnipod five or control IQ or anything like that these, these things have a ton of value for the masses, they really, most people are not trying to keep the right ones in the mid fives. And and what most people want is a you know, a life where they don't think about it. I mean, for as many people who's listened to to listen to this podcast, there are certainly far more people using insulin who don't listen to it. And those people to think that they could go in their doctor's office and get control like you are on the pod five, or whatever the Medtronic thing is, I wish that I knew the name 670 G maybe to get those things to make their life easier, and more stable and more healthy. That's how most people are going to do this. So whether I you know what I mean whether, you know, whether I decide to do on the pod five longterm, or if I loop with Dash, because if we go back to looping, I'm not going back to the link, I'll definitely go

Becky Starkey 41:59
back. It's different for you, isn't it? Because Arden's older, so I mean, the reasons that we like loops so much is my remote monitoring through Nightscout. And the fact I can set up a temporary override to put them on for him while he's at school. And also, he loves the fact that you can Bolus from his Apple Watch, like without many people seeing what's going on. Whereas I suppose for somebody who's a bit older, you don't need those things quite so much.

Scott Benner 42:25
Yes, she doesn't care about whether or not people see or get insulin, that's for sure. Although I did set up a Basal override through Nightscout last night, because my knee hurt from my knee surgery, and I didn't want to get up and go to her phone. But you know, what's funny is that by me not looking at the phone, I messed myself up because Arden ran an open loop for a couple of hours last night while she was baking, because she was snacking while she was baking. And then she went to bed, forgot to re close the loop. And I kept looking at this like 140 blood sugar wondering like, Why won't this go down? And I kept upping our basil and like I'd put a dent in it. And then it would just go back again. And then this morning I went in and I was I looked at it. I thought you know, the the loop was open, so it wasn't making any auto Bolus. Now, I don't know if you use the auto Bolus branch of loop or if you're just using the basil one.

Becky Starkey 43:22
We were using the auto Bolus, but I put on John's switching patch, which is amazing. I put that on about three weeks ago. I love it.

Scott Benner 43:31
I don't know, Tommy.

Becky Starkey 43:32
So is it. John? I think it's John Fawcett. He built a switching patch. He's the guy that built the loop follow up. He built the switching patch. And what that does is it switches between the micro bolusing and the auto bolusing. So you set a limit and minus 7.2, which I'm not sure what that is for you that because we're in millimole, aren't we? So the limit is so if his bloods are under 7.2, it uses the micro Bolus thing. And if he goes above 7.2, it kicks in with the auto Bolus thing. And the difference there is it's nowhere near as harsh. So for things overnight, it keeps them a lot more stable. It's you know, it's not chipping away quite so hard. If it's within within range. It's brilliant.

Scott Benner 44:15
That's excellent. Do you say 7.2? Yes. 134. Okay, brothers. Oh, that's that is brilliant. And that. So that's now another version of the loop. So there's an auto Bolus on micro Bolus. And now there's a branch. It'll switch back and forth depending on the blood sugar value.

Becky Starkey 44:34
That's right. Yeah.

Scott Benner 44:35
Hmm. Do you have to read? Yeah, I don't see. Here's the problem. You said it's daunting. I'm still daunted by it like the idea Yeah, like like right now is you're talking about I think that's cool. I would try that. And then I think well, how do you put that on there? Oh, nevermind.

Becky Starkey 44:52
Yeah, you have to rebuild but there is a video. If you if you search for it, there is a video that some kind soul is done on on YouTube and you just follow it and it's you know, it's an Idiot's Guide. It's very simple. It's brilliant.

Scott Benner 45:05
You believe I could do this? Yes, go for it I don't believe in myself that much. I still haven't done anything about the date problem. You know how when the time the time thing changes time thing? I'm 50 years old. When the when the clocks change. Yes, when the clocks change. There's a word for that. Why don't I know it? I'm daylight savings. Right. That's it. Okay. Wow, there we go. Everybody should be now they're all like, do I believe anything? This guy says he couldn't come up with daylight savings time. So when that happened there's like a glitch and then if you change something if you try to change a setting in loop after daylight savings time, the loop app crashes.

Becky Starkey 45:47
Okay, I didn't hear what cuz you were daylight saving time is different to ours, as well as a different point in the year. Yeah,

Scott Benner 45:54
may or may not. There's no way for me to know you live in another country. I know nothing about it. Here's what I know. Here's what I know about it. Smaller. Buckingham Palace, fish and chips. That's what I know. There we go. Really good. But so anyway, I'm been told over and over again, that you could just rebuild the app and fix it. And I'm like, how am I gonna do that?

Becky Starkey 46:22
Now with the what's it called the workspace you just follow the workspace? We done that on loop and learn no idea what you're talking about. Oh, Scott, go into Lupin land. Org, I think and there's a workspace that builds the whole thing for you. You just plug your phone in and basically follow a couple of steps. And it does it always no comparison to how it was a few years ago.

Scott Benner 46:43
Starting loop using a loop building loop.

Becky Starkey 46:47
Building post Are you in? Were you in loop? And

Scott Benner 46:50
I just want to loop and learn.org? Because you said it. That's it go into build. Yeah. And then advanced quick build. Build for say, you said it was easy. And now I'm confused already. version updates asked for build help code customization.

Becky Starkey 47:06
You just basically like copy this code into the terminal on your map on your Mac. And it just, like, builds it all and then you just put up Xcode and it it just does it all and you just yeah, have a go. Honestly, it's so much easier.

Scott Benner 47:21
Yeah, have a go. This is how you pick that boy, I can't trust you.

So what I've just decided, was that I'll pretend it's for the podcast. And I will get somebody on who knows about it. And I'll rebuild Arden's loop while we're recording the podcast. That's it, do it. See how I just like I was like, Oh, I'll make it feel like it's for the podcast. I actually think I actually think I, I, yeah, I erased X code off my computer. Because it's such it's such a

Becky Starkey 47:57
pain. And I'm like, yeah, 5000 year download, put that back now.

Scott Benner 48:01
It's such a pain, like it just it ruins the computer like it ruined this one at the very least. So I have the I have to I'd have to reinstall Xcode just to do it. And then

Becky Starkey 48:13
or somebody else's Mac and put it on.

Scott Benner 48:16
Well, listen, that makes me sound lazy. I'll do it. Okay. But I'm not I mean, this poor computer is just, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, it can only hold so much in that damn program is just overwhelming.

Becky Starkey 48:33
Yeah, I had an old Mac and it worked. But it took an eternity. And then I managed to get one on credit this year. But it's it's just so worth it. I mean, as I say, loop has been an absolute life changer for the power of us. Yeah, it's amazing. Our clinic, I think you call it your Endo. Elton. He said, you know, will you be switching over to the only poor five when it comes out? And it's like, no, thanks. Why has it why would i Because, you know, loopy is got so, so many settings. It's so precise. You're in charge of the whole thing. You can change it when you know, you know, if he's ill, you know, if he's grown, you know, if he's been sporty, you know, those systems have that vaguely, but it's just not the same. You know, we have remote monitoring we have even remote bolusing will probably come eventually, we have the you know, bolusing from the watch for our feet discreetly, you know, there's just so much lip sync. It's incredible.

Scott Benner 49:33
I hear you. I don't disagree. I just I do really believe though, that there are two kinds of users. And I think that I think, yeah, I think loops amazing. But if it ever gets over, you know, I mean, there's, I mean, if you got up to 50,000 users I in 10 years, I think that was amazing. You know what I mean? Like most people are always going to want to go to their doctor, get a prescription, have a thing sent to their house, they're going to want to turn it on and have it do what it's going to do get their setting, you know, the big to me, the big hill to climb here for all these algorithms, whether it's loop actually or one that comes from a company is that settings, like the having, you know, what we've been talking about here on the podcast for years, about knowing how insulin works, getting your settings, right, that becomes incredibly important, because an algorithm with bad settings is worse than not knowing what you're doing.

Becky Starkey 50:34
Yeah, sure. Well, I, I often wonder, you know, loads of people here seem to be going on to the control IQ. But you see, you either see people who have got amazing results, or you see people who just it's just awful. And I, you know, I think with the control IQ it it learns your own patterns, doesn't it? Where you don't program it like you program loop, it's learning from experience, and it sets its own setting.

Scott Benner 51:04
You said control. Thank you. Did you mean Omnipod? Five?

Becky Starkey 51:07
No, no, the tandem the T slim,

Scott Benner 51:09
that one learns?

Becky Starkey 51:11
I think I might be wrong. I think so. But I might be wrong. I don't think that's what worries me about those ones. Because if you're having a bad day, or you've eaten something that's, you know, gonna mess you bloodstone or you're being really active. You know, you might, you could, I don't know, I can't control freak this this just

Scott Benner 51:34
Becky's, like you're really seeing into my psyche. Now, I don't know anything about these things. These are my fears. Yeah, I don't think that I don't think that any of the any of these algorithms as they are currently are so sentient that they're making like moment to moment decisions going, Look, he was low today. He's going to be low tomorrow. You know, I think that what they've told me about on the pod five so far, and I'll have it soon. Is that the very first time you put a pod on the very first one? It's collecting data. Yeah, when you move to the second pod, then you're on your way. And you know, it's not like 27 pods into it, or 10 years into it. It still remembers what happened on day one. It's working on a it's my ex, my understanding so far is that it's working on from expectations that has from recent time.

Becky Starkey 52:26
Yeah, it's like rolling data. Yeah.

Scott Benner 52:28
And if all goes well, Becky, here, I'll tell you more stuff that you can't tell anybody else. If all goes well, I will have a Pro Tip series about the Omnipod five with people who work at Omnipod. Okay, that's cool. So I'm going to try to get it all out there and have people to talk about. And you know, it's because again, setting setting settings if your basil is wrong, if your meal ratio is wrong, if you don't understand that, you know, honestly, there are fish and chips is a great example, if you don't understand that french fries and deep fried fish are going to have a fat and protein rise later. Then you're in trouble because you're gonna see a you're gonna see a rising blood sugar 90 minutes after you've eaten something you think you Bolus sport, you need to understand that you need to understand, you know how insulin works, and you you have to Pre-Bolus your meals, you do those things with or without an algorithm, you're gonna have a lot of success. The, the algorithms are amazing, like you said overnight, or, you know, you you know, one of the one of my favorite ways to use loops is you know, or one of my favorite use cases for loop is when you just look at a meal and you're like, I don't know how much this is I don't even care. I'm just going to pick a number this looks like 45 carbs today. And you have a nice stable line. But then you notice there's no rise. And this thing is saying to you Hey, buddy, I think this blood sugar is gonna get low and an hour and a half and it just starts taking away basil without you thinking about it and does its best to find stability, such a big deal. It's just it's amazing. So get an algorithm get your settings right if you can afford them. They're amazing. If you can't, the Pro Tip series in the podcast will help you do those things without an algorithm and and lessen your lows. And stop all the spikes in the highs. That's me. Have you ever did you use the podcast before the algorithm worked out where you had on your own then when you were up all night and micromanaging

Becky Starkey 54:29
Oh, I didn't use it and I didn't know didn't know about it at all. So I started looping two years ago this month, and I probably listened to you maybe a year before that.

Scott Benner 54:41
Interesting. I will always wonder how you would have made out with the Pro Tip series under your belt and nothing else. Because i To be perfectly honest, the outcomes we have with loop are the same outcomes we have without loop. The difference the difference is is like last night I shut my eyes and I was like Oh, she'll be fine. And I slept through the night. You know, whereas before I would have not been I mean, we weren't. Excuse me. She didn't crash a ton overnight, but it's just it's an extra level of confidence. I guess.

Becky Starkey 55:15
It's lovely. Just to know it's doing its thing, right.

Scott Benner 55:20
Okay, Becky, what else have we not spoken about so far? That was in your lovely note from so long ago? Oh, my God. You emailed me a year ago almost to the day.

Becky Starkey 55:33
It was Yeah. I was supposed to be talking to you in October and then I had to delay that one. That's new to April. Okay,

Scott Benner 55:39
so I'm looking at looking looking. I am going to ask you how COVID was with your, your CVI day. Rough still is. Okay. How so? Very locked down.

Becky Starkey 55:54
Yeah. So Alfie, and I spent about a year just us in the house. He didn't go to school. I homeschooled him, and we didn't leave, we didn't even go for walks. We didn't leave didn't see anyone. Awful. But with no immune system and being unable to get any treatment. Not that the treatment actually covers me for COVID. But there was just no option because should I get ill? I mean, should we both get ill? And I'm too ill to look after him. That's an issue. Should I get hospitalized? There's nobody to look after him. You know, worst case scenario should COVID You know, kill me which potentially can where does that leave Alfie. It's a really scary situation. So my treatment is, um, is a pool of people's immune systems plasma, but there's no protection for COVID in it. So I'm still not protected. I mean, Alfie has returned to school. He's been back at school for almost a year, which is brilliant, but the poor thing has to wear a face mask as extra protection when no one else was called does and we still don't do anything socially. We don't see anyone we don't. We haven't had a meal out. We don't go anywhere. You know, if I have to go to the shop, I go at the quietest time of the day to the quieter shop in a face mask. With an armband saying I'm immunosuppressed. Please give me distance. It's scary. That's you know what it boils down to? It's very, very scary. Yeah, in America, you're receiving for people in my conditions, you're receiving a drug called ever shout even ever shelled. And that's given in injections every six months, it's not the COVID job, it's different. But that actually protects the person they'll 80% less likely to even catch COVID And then very much less likely to get any complications. And it was approved by our government in March, but they still haven't purchased any and that's really quite scary because that is a life changer for the pair of us. You know, we can actually have some quality of life.

Scott Benner 58:06
Do you know how to spell that?

Becky Starkey 58:08
Yeah, Evie, U S H. E LD.

Scott Benner 58:20
Iva showing antibody treatment for COVID 19 high risk groups.

Becky Starkey 58:24
That's right. It's like um, it's like a miracle cure for somebody like me, it would give us our life back. We could actually see relatives and hug them and kiss them and you know, eat out with them. And you know, we were sociable people we had you know, we had a good quality life and we saw lots of friends and we miss it. We both miss it. It's of course been a life changer. It's sad. Just want that back for our feet because he's lost two years of his 11 years now to it.

Scott Benner 58:53
Yeah, my I just went to my son's last undergraduate college baseball game the other day. He was he should have been able to play in 180 Some games maybe 200 games in four years and instead I think he was in maybe he was I think he was eligible to play and maybe 70 games or something like that or because of because of COVID terrible evil shoulders a combination of two medications given together oh my god can wear who names these things? No, ticks a give a mob and still gather mob. I mean, honestly people both are monoclonal antibodies, which are lab made proteins that act like antibodies made in your made by your immune system to fight infection. Evil shout is administered by two injections immediately given one after the other based on clinical trial data. It's administered every six months to offer the most protection eligible people here in America it looks like include Food over 12 weigh at least 88 pounds, you also can't currently be infected with COVID. You have, you need to have a health condition that likely won't allow your body develop a strong enough response to COVID immunocompromised.

Becky Starkey 1:00:16
So basically I've had five COVID injections now COVID jobs like, like other people, but my book, my body can't produce an immune response. So I've got no antibodies. So those jobs are basically completely useless. I've got no protection at all. I am at the point that everybody was back at the start, you know, when everybody was hiding at home and not going anywhere? Yeah, that's, you know, it's quite scary. If there was an option to buy it privately, even that would be an option and what might be worth getting into debt for but there's not even that option here. It's just waiting.

Scott Benner 1:00:49
You're waiting for the government to literally, like buy this and make it.

Becky Starkey 1:00:54
I mean, they approved it in March. And I was so hopeful that we might make some progress, but it's still not happened. I know there's a lot going on in the world. And it's not priority to a lot of people. But to so many people it is

Scott Benner 1:01:07
I mean, from the news reports that I've heard monoclonal antibodies were like, kind of like oddly ripped off the, like, we stopped using them here as much as well, all of a sudden, they weren't talked about as much. And that's what we're talking about here. That's what this is, right? monoclonal antibodies. Yeah, ma ma B treatments.

Becky Starkey 1:01:24
It just means like fake antibodies doesn't kill you. Like people like yourself can make your antibodies, but this is like fake ones.

Scott Benner 1:01:30
People become Yeah, Becky, I'm fancy. I can make my own antibodies to me, you're not like you. Well, I hope that come becomes available for it. So you're you're saying if you took these, you would then probably take an antibody test to see if you had COVID antibodies? If you did, you'd go back to your life?

Becky Starkey 1:01:50
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, if I'm 80% less likely to even catch COVID. What What

Scott Benner 1:01:56
a game changer? Yeah, you would you would roll those dice, right? Well, yeah,

Becky Starkey 1:01:59
absolutely. I mean, yeah. I just can't, I can't explain what a difference that would make.

Scott Benner 1:02:05
No, no, I mean, listen, you have no so you have you're the one thing I wanted to make sure I understood was that the injections, you get to bolster your, your immune system, you are getting those through COVID or somebody coming to the house to give them to you or you couldn't even get

Becky Starkey 1:02:22
to. So every month, I have to go to a hospital in Southampton here. And I have intravenous so I have to sit for a couple of hours and have intravenous plasma put straight into my veins. But during COVID, that wasn't available. It wasn't an option. They stopped it for about four months, which obviously meant that you started getting sick, right? Well, no, because I wasn't in contact with anybody. So yes, I felt rougher. And I felt tired. But I didn't get ill. I didn't catch any infections or illnesses, which was good. But it was still a bit scary, you know, and obviously, until that, until that resumed, there was no way that Alfie could go back to school because he could bring something home as well.

Scott Benner 1:03:06
When you're on that, that treatment, do you do you feel an impact on your psychological well being as well? Or is it really just very physical that you that you get?

Becky Starkey 1:03:21
It all goes hand in hand, doesn't it?

Scott Benner 1:03:23
I think it does. I'm just wondering. Yeah.

Becky Starkey 1:03:25
You know, it's quite hard to know, because three years ago, I started the treatment. Well, yeah. Yeah, about three years ago, I started the treatment. And then, two years ago, we started looping. So my treatment started. And I had that before COVID. And then I started to sleep with loop. You know, I got my sleep back. So everything has changed. And I don't know how much of that is my, my health and my treatment. And how much of that is down to loot but as as a whole picture? Yeah, my life is so different. You know, I was like a walking zombie in I couldn't think straight. I had no energy. I couldn't stand I was always ill. I just wow. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:04:11
Yeah. I mean, it's, uh, I had that very low iron. If you listen to the podcast, you know about and this sounds significantly worse than that. And I was, I was at the point at the end where I was just like, Well, I'm gonna die, you know?

Becky Starkey 1:04:28
To the point where it's like a better option. It's awful. I

Scott Benner 1:04:30
guess then, okay, think can't do anything. I have no idea of looking back how I was producing this podcast. Like, seriously, I have no idea. I guess I would get up in the morning and just do everything before I fell apart.

Becky Starkey 1:04:43
You know, just carry on. Yeah. I mean, I can't begin to explain to people how hard it was for me and what I went through. And only Alfie knows really, because he's the only one that saw me go through it.

Scott Benner 1:04:54
Yeah. And you don't want him for this just to be his reality either. You'd like to get him out in the world. Rolling get him going again as well.

Becky Starkey 1:05:01
Absolutely, yeah, I mean, he's, he does kickboxing now twice a week, which is a massive risk to me, but he loves it. You know, he's, it's changed everything for him. He's so positive and he enjoys it. You know, he's a really active kid he swims as well. And I've tried we're now at the stage where I try to let Alfie live as normally as I can with regard to hobbies and school, and then it's, I just hide away at home all week. And then at weekends, we're just very selective. We, if we go anywhere, we'll go for a walk outdoors type thing, or if we meet a friend, we'll go for a walk around a park, you know, it's and you can't go back to this for a cup of tea and that kind of thing, but, you know, it will change again, but at least Alfie's got some quality of life back.

Scott Benner 1:05:47
Yeah. How was the How was the lockdown bid for you personally? Like, like on your mental health? Has it been difficult?

Becky Starkey 1:05:58
Yes, extremely hard. It takes a lot to break me. I just keep going. And at one point I broke you know, I fell apart and I just sat and sobbed and poor Alfie just sat pose arms around me and sat with me and but after that, pick yourself back out and cracked on again. Because what alternative is there? You've just got to keep going until things improve. Like I said, So Alfie, every storm passes. And this feels like an incredibly long storm, but it will pass as things in the past have when there's been illnesses around you will pass.

Scott Benner 1:06:32
That's amazing. That's a great attitude. It's the only way you can have really, yeah, I mean, what are you gonna do? Right? Like, I mean, there's two options. There's keep going or crawl up in a ball.

Becky Starkey 1:06:42
Go through a lot of wind and look down.

Scott Benner 1:06:48
Well, hey, you haven't started sending him to the store for wine on his own. Right? tempting but no. My wife. No, I'm not a big drinker, my wife. My wife talks about when she was when she was a kid, her parents would, you know, dump all their change out, you know, like, she'd hold her hand out. And they'd give it to her. They'd send her to the store and be like, get a cigarette. And she's like, she's like, I was this little kid going into a store. Like I need cigarettes there for my mom. Now, that's the that's the 70s and the early 80s. By the way, you walked in the store with money and you're like, I need pell mell for my mom. They'd be like, no problem. Yo, pants and an eight year old cigarettes, no trouble. Worlds different now. My gosh, is there anything, Becky that we haven't talked about that you wanted to?

Becky Starkey 1:07:44
Thanks. So we did. Yeah, thank you. No, of

Scott Benner 1:07:48
course. Why won't anybody in the UK invite me to come speak? When I be amazing. I just want to see the UK for free. And I figured the way it'll happen is if somebody flies me over there to give a talk. And then I can,

Becky Starkey 1:08:03
I can say, Well, I reckon friends for life. So your best bet, isn't it? Oh, no. I

Scott Benner 1:08:07
don't think they liked me that much. No, I don't know. Nobody. Nobody comes calling. Maybe they do. Oh, yeah.

Becky Starkey 1:08:14
Well, where do you want to visit? And I'll see what I can do.

Scott Benner 1:08:17
That's right. There you go. Now, yeah, listen, whatever you can work out. Just don't put me somewhere strange. Although, again, based on our earlier conversation, maybe you're not the best person to choose for me. I come home with a cold sore. I'll be like, what happened here? Where did you send me what was on that pillowcase? Good. I'm really pleased for you, that you made your way through this so well. And it sounds like your son's doing terrific. Do you think he'll be I'm going to ask you a question that I hate when people ask me. Ready? How's he doing? Does he do this on his own? Or are you very involved in it? Aren't you worried when he gets older that he won't be? And I'm just kidding. It's just the worst question you people ask me I hate it. Like like somehow that the way you people that was very pejorative. I didn't mean that as harshly as it sounded. It should be an indication that it's the I think it's the it's the question I've heard the most over the years. And I used to hear it from like old timers, like people would have diabetes for a long time or like you're taking care of it. He's not going to know how to do it like that thing. But it's really a pressure, isn't it? Yeah, like a hand off pressure.

Becky Starkey 1:09:28
Yeah, I mean, it's very difficult when your child is diagnosed so young, like Alfie and Arden, you do so much for so long for them. And it's a very difficult transition for them to start taking it on. I mean, Alfie is very aware. He can carb count. He, you know, he knows all about diabetes. He knows the effects. He knows, you know, he's brilliant. He wears his Apple Watch. He's got his data on it. But he's only 10 years old, coming up with it. And at the same time, his priority is not looking at is watch to see what his bloods are doing. You know, he'll happily pick up a snack and eat it. And I'll go, you know, you Bolus, you know, because for so long, I've done everything. And we're at that age now where he starts secondary school in September this year, which is like we have here we have primary school from four years to 11 year 11 year olds, and then we have secondary school from 11 years to 16 years. So he starts secondary schooling this year. And there is a pressure from, from our medical team for him to do a lot more himself, but we text like you did. You know, if he's going low, I texted him and I say, you know, what extra is to dextrose? You know, are you being active, we work together, and that's what I want to stick with. And then, over time, hopefully, he'll learn to recognize things more need me less. That's all I can do.

Scott Benner 1:10:50
I agree. That's exactly how I see it. It's a slow transfer. It's a handoff, it's experiences, you know, people, people still say I just respond to somebody the other day, and they're like, What am I gonna figure this out? I'm like, just takes time to do it over and over again, until one day it just works. And you're like, huh, just works. It. As crazy as it sounds. I think that diabetes eventually turns into, like walking through a doorway, meaning that you don't approach a door and think consciously turn the knob, pull the door, close the door climbing you just eventually you just do it. And it is from practice. Because there was a time when you were two years old that you looked at that door and you thought turn the knob pull the door, you know what I mean? And now you don't anymore, and, you know, rushing?

Becky Starkey 1:11:35
type one diabetes is an absolute minefield, I'm still learning and Alfie's had it nine years. So how on earth can I expect him? You know just to grab hold of it and roll with it? He can't you know, it's we will always be learning I think it's just incredible. I don't think there's any other any other illness you know, disease like type one diabetes, it's just incredible.

Scott Benner 1:11:57
It's a pretty big match. That's for sure. Well, Becky, I think if you would have applied some of that common sense to your boy picking Becky, you cannot Are you planning on being alone for the rest of your life?

Becky Starkey 1:12:13
I don't know. You know, it's a funny thing. I've always just not really been bothered. I'm not interested anymore. I'm not bothered particularly while I've you know, while Alfie still at home with me, I really couldn't care less. I think there'll come a point where when Alfie leaves home and I'm on my own, obviously that I'll probably be lonely. I wish I'd done more about it. But now I couldn't care less at the moment. I'm not interested. I don't want the hassle.

Scott Benner 1:12:38
You start a podcast where you talk to the cats. Yeah, I think that would be wildly for the wrong reasons. Wildly popular. People be like I listen to this podcast. This lady just talks to the cat they never say anything back.

Becky Starkey 1:12:52
I don't know what your Dummett this I'm actually on the ginger cat Appreciation Society page on Facebook.

Scott Benner 1:13:00
You made that up all right. Maybe we need to get you an app or something. Maybe you need to swipe or something. You know what I mean? But that'd be helpful.

Becky Starkey 1:13:12
Yeah, stick with my cats.

Scott Benner 1:13:16
All right. Well, listen, I'm not gonna try to talk you out of it sounds like it's working. I really appreciate you coming on and doing this. Thank you very much. Thank

Becky Starkey 1:13:23
you. It's good. Thanks, got

Scott Benner 1:13:28
a huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon. Find out more about Chivo Capo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. you spell that GVOKEGL. You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juicebox. I'd also like and I'd also like to thank Omni pod makers of the Omni pod five, and the Omni pod dash. Learn more about them get started today, all the same link Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox. That's the same link where you could find out if you're eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash.

If you'd like to learn more about the private Facebook group, it's called Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes and I believe it has something like 33,000 members in it now. It's a happening place. You should check it out. Even if you don't like Facebook. This is the most unfaced bulky place you'll ever find on Facebook. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.