#522 Night at the Roxy

Remember Zoe from episode 376, ‘Zoe & Roxy's Wild Ride’? This is Roxy.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to Episode 522 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Perhaps you remember Episode 376 where Zoey came on to talk about being the sibling of a sister with Type One Diabetes. her sister's name was Roxy, and Roxy through Zoey right under the bus, and right onto the Juicebox Podcast. So I thought it was only fair to get Roxy on to hear her side of the story. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. I have to tell you, I enjoyed speaking with Roxy so much that as I'm thinking back on it right now, I don't know what we talked about. I just remember having a good time. So that can't be a bad sign. If you're looking for the diabetes pro tip series, or the defining diabetes series, they're both available at Juicebox Podcast COMM And that diabetes pro tip.com.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by touched by type one, a great organization doing wonderful things for people with type one diabetes, please learn more about them on their Facebook page, their Instagram page, or at touched by type one.org. While I have you I'd like to remind you that if you're a US resident living with Type One Diabetes, or a US resident, who is the caregiver of someone with type one, the T one D exchange is looking for you. They'd love for you to participate in a quick survey that can be completed in just a few minutes right on your phone or your tablet or your computer. After you're finished the questions. They're super simple, I did them in about seven minutes. You will be contacted annually to update your information and to be asked further questions. This whole thing is 100% anonymous, completely HIPAA compliant, and does not require you to ever see a doctor or go to a remote site. And every time someone completes the process using my link, the podcast benefits. So if you're looking for a way to help type one research, the podcast or both, nothing could be easier, or more beneficial. Please just go to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. When you get there, click Join our registering now and complete the survey. It's that easy. Past participants like you have helped to bring increased coverage for test trips, Medicare coverage for CGM, and changes in the ADA guidelines for pediatric Awan seagulls. It is difficult to find people like you to fill out these surveys. And that's why the T one D exchange has asked me to ask you. Hello. Hello. The only thing that stops me from seeing Roxanne is that it is David would call you a hooker and I have a terrible singing voice. You know you're not the first one to react to that. I just I stopped myself from doing it. I was like I sing so poorly.

Roxy 3:29
I know I don't want my parents were thinking but I go by Roxy for that very reason. Although then like when I was in college, I would get all these like Roxy strip club things under my dorm door and I was like this is not new better. I don't know. I mean,

Scott Benner 3:42
every person who walked by one of those handbells was like, oh, Roxy. Oh, I'll take one of those. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker 3:47
Yeah, exactly. Charming. Yes.

Scott Benner 3:50
This horrible place makes me think of my friend. Yeah, exactly. College students, man. Oh, lovely. Well, anyway, um, we're recording already, because I'm just getting the sound set up. Sounds good. Now be a bad time to come out for something weird. You know? Okay. Oh, is it it was too crazy. I'd be like, I have to keep this in.

Roxy 4:16
I'm surprised you're able to do this over zoom. It's really cool. I was like worried that I wouldn't have the right headset or something. I don't have headsets anymore.

Scott Benner 4:25
I have to be honest, the fact that I'm leaving this all in the podcast, the the little amount of effort that I put into setting up the recordings and how well 99.9% of them go. It's fascinating, because what I do is my wife asked me one time like why do you book appointments out so far in the future is like because it gets me the people who really want to be on the show. And she's like, What do you mean, I was like, but you know, anybody can say yeah, I'll do it tomorrow, and then follow through. I'm like somebody who can tell you in December that they're willing to record a pod cast in June, really wants to be on the podcast. And they'll put the effort in. It's necessary. Yeah,

Roxy 5:06
it's fascinating. I Well, yeah, I think I think that makes a lot of sense. I'm definitely that type. Wow.

Scott Benner 5:14
I weed out the pets this way. And so

Roxy 5:17
I really hate it when people like, or my husband calls them what it is like no second responders or something like they, they send an email, like, do you want to do this? And you write back? Yeah. And then they just kind of ghost at that point.

Scott Benner 5:31
Because they're trying to get something going and and I have the luxury of having content. So I'm not running around crazy looking for somebody. It's also why you don't probably turn the podcast on when we can just go ooh, filler, because you know, I don't have to do filler because I'm, I'm literally recorded and I say it once in a while, but we're talking in December. And I think if I dropped dead today, the podcast keep going to like mid June probably. Wow. So

Roxy 5:59
yeah, I think my sister recorded with you in January. Right? I think that's right, because I remember I was I was flying Scott. That's how long ago this was. And I was waiting to board the plane. And I went on a trip on a trip in for work in January. And I heard that interview with one of the I'm forgetting her name now but the person who spoke about how worried she was about her younger. I don't remember if it was a daughter or son, her younger child and feeling neglected. And I was just laughing to myself. And I remember sitting there in the airport lounge going, I gotta get Zoey to do this because she will prove quite the opposite. I'm

Scott Benner 6:36
fascinated that you don't have died. Or that you have diabetes that your sister that you you were like, Hey, get on this podcast. And she's like, okay, and she comes on. She's like, the one of the first things she said was I don't really know anything about Roxy's diabetes. I was like, well, this will be fun. So, Nina, free to do to you. But I was very curious. But she was. It was interesting. She's like, I don't really know much about it. Thank you. Yeah, has it? Did it bother you as a child? Not that I remember. Okay, great. Well just feel the next 58 minutes was something different. But no, I yeah, I think seriously, it was good for people to hear. Because I think it's, if you're a parent, especially have younger children. It's a real like concern, I can see that, you know, like, doing this thing is going to make the other kid feel like they're you're not paying attention to them. I don't think for the most part, that is actually what happens.

Roxy 7:27
Yeah. And I think that's, I think that's so true, at least in our case, as well as it was very clear. I think it was interesting for me, though, because I think a lot about sort of how having diabetes as in has impacted my mental health. And I'm blessed to be a very, very, like mentally healthy person. I think I don't have a lot of, you know, I don't suffer from depression. I'm a little on the like, high strung side. But I don't think it's anything clinical. But even so, I think it's had like, a lot of implications. But what's interesting to me is how it kind of it stopped with me and my parents like, I don't think it kind of I don't know, like, rippled out beyond that. So and my sister certainly proved that.

Scott Benner 8:13
I'm stopping myself from laughing because you just described yourself as not clinically high strung.

Roxy 8:19
Yeah, exactly. Like I'm probably I'm probably somewhere and the anxiety spectrum, but I would qualify for anything. I've been to a therapist before and she was not terribly helpful. So I was like, Alright, I'm just gonna stick with a great seven.

Scott Benner 8:35
It's just a great 70s phrase is all that's the she's just a strong. I know that. I'm sure that's something I picked up from my parents. That sounds like Yeah, well, I'm 100% Sure. This is what happened. Yeah, that's why I'm like you're just a little high strung rocks. It's fine. To picture in your mother in a dress on a plaid sofa going, Oh, why is this one so high? Strong. Totally. Oh, my gosh. So let's dig in for a second. All right. Did you? Are you the you're the person and you'll forgive me? I get a lot of emails. But for about two emails over the last year. You and I have been married. You've corrected me like twice. That's you right?

Roxy 9:15
Um, about? Yeah, probably. Yeah, I missed out like social justice II type things and environmentalism. Yes. Yes. You've corrected that person. No, I wouldn't say corrected. I was just sharing with you about cow farts. And what's the other thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I was pretty

Scott Benner 9:34
wiped up about really didn't like the way I spoke about it. So I must have used this. I really kind of thought about what you said. And I feel like it was just maybe like one sentence in the middle of an hour that you didn't like, but you particularly didn't like it. And so it's interesting for me, because I don't know what I think about everything. So sometimes you'll hear me talk through it. which I love. Yes, that makes your podcast great. Except you didn't like the way I talked through this one thing, and then you wrote me alone? No, I think I wasn't. I honestly don't even remember. Good. Well, I'm not bringing it up, then that's fine.

Roxy 10:11
Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I greatly appreciate your the way that you think about things. And I also appreciate that you don't, that you're able to kind of like, walk a line in terms of not getting too political about stuff. But as you can probably tell, I'm a very high strung person now. I'm a very like, outspoken lefty, I guess. So I often AM, like, keen to speak up on about things that especially when I know people are well meaning and, and good at listening and learning, because I think I definitely feel that way about you. So that's the reason that I've,

Scott Benner 10:52
I would say, based on the first email, I'm guessing, and I have no idea but I'm gonna put your age about 20 years my junior, are you in your 30s? Yeah, right. Right. So it's, it's not because of your age, it's because of generational stuff. Like there's just a, I wish I so wish I could play you an episode that I recorded years ago that I'm not allowed to put up. So I recorded this great episode with this type one, whose partner was oh my gosh, I don't even know how to say it. This is how old I am. They they don't I guess they don't subscribe to a gender certification. I don't even know any the phrase that the terminology to use, right. But there was like a lot of like, gender non conforming, probably Yeah. And I tried so hard. And she did such a great job of explaining it to me. And I really did pick through it. But then at the end, these people were traveling internationally. And we're we're genuinely scared for people in other countries to know about their, you know, how they think how the how the one person in the relationship thinks about their gender. So she asked me not to put it up. And so I never did, but it was really interesting. Because as I'm like, wait, sheave them. I don't he like there was like a z. I just couldn't. I was so Roxy, I try so hard. Oh, funny. I've

Roxy 12:19
actually wondered if you will ever interview somebody who's gender non conforming? Well, you bring that up. That's so funny, because I think when was it? You somebody referred to their partner? And I was like, Oh, I wonder if they're like, or I don't remember what happened on one of the episodes. I was kind of like, Oh, I wonder if they just like don't if they use they, for instance as their pronoun. Um, but yeah, it's it's tricky. If you haven't been surrounded by people that you love that, that, you know,

Scott Benner 12:52
it has nothing to do with mine. It has nothing to do with my desire to not know exactly, yeah, my brain can't like maybe my brain can't follow through, it almost felt like she was holding up a piece of blue paper and telling me this is red. Every time I show you this, tell me it's red. And my brain would go blue. I know, I'm supposed to say red. And then I just I but she does such a good job of explaining, like I said, how her partner thought of things. And then at the very last second said, Please don't put that up. And I was like, oh, and it was it was so many years ago was like my old microphone, a different room where I recorded so this was a really long time ago. So a number of years ago, so it was not even like not even like, like in 2020. Somebody was like, hey, please say they or something like that.

Roxy 13:39
Okay, yeah, yeah, we sort of before people like put their pronouns in their zoom names and stuff.

Scott Benner 13:44
Yes, these people were ahead of the curve is what I'm yeah. And so I would anyway, anyway, that's how sometimes I feel what I'm talking about social stuff, like I'm on, I'm on what I think is the, the people's side of most ideas. I mean, if I'm being honest, I think I'm on the common sense side of ideas. That's how I try to think about things. I don't have a real, like if somebody from my political party says something ridiculous, I don't think, alright, well, I'll get behind it. Because I'm on their team, I think, yeah, we need more people like that, frankly. Yeah, I mean, I do.

Roxy 14:19
I think my husband is from the UK. And he he's very interesting, because he's, he's very progressive, very lefty, as well, but he kind of points out to me how I'm the sort of language of wokeness, for lack of a better word, is sort of a very American thing and a very, like college educated, you know, liberal thing. And he, I think, gets a little bit irritated by some of the language. And so it's I don't know, I was just having conversation with him last night about a project that I'm working on. It's an international project and we were trying to be quite deliberately inclusive by recruiting more people to work on this project that are not White people know, and I'm one of the people who is Swedish was kind of pushing back and kind of basically conforming to a more sort of colorblind approach of like, it's, we're nice, we're inclusive, it's fine. And, you know, and I was sort of saying, Well, no, we need to be, you know, this doesn't happen by osmosis, we really need to like put ourselves in uncomfortable position, potentially to recruit people like to actually kind of value that as something that we're recruiting toward our group. And it was a very kind of tense back and forth, where we were kind of agreeing, but I think some of the language got in the way. And so I'm quite conscious of, of that, that this isn't like, you're not going to kind of get people to think about these issues by being kind of jargony. And, and I don't know, abrasive. So I definitely understand that it's, it's super important to, to, yeah, have people who are, who are well meaning and want to learn, we all just need to be a little bit humble and open minded. And I think you're amazing at kind of talking about how you've evolved, and how your thinking is changing about diabetes and about other things. And so, yeah, so I just feel like,

Scott Benner 16:16
what's the point of learning something, if you're not going to apply it, that's, you know, kind of like, like, either find a, find a level and just sit there and coast to the end and just be like, kind of Comfortably Numb, unhappy, that's fine. Or, but if you're going to learn something, then don't go, oh, that does make more sense. But I have these deep seated long held beliefs. So I can't really do anything different. I also don't think forcing people is the way to go, either. There was some time in 2020. I'm bad with time. But it was sometime in 2020. On one of the social media platforms around diabetes, there was a big dust up about race. And then the push came to like amplify black voices. And I was like, Yeah, that's a good idea. And then I went back and looked at my podcast, and I was like, I had a lot of black guests on actually a number of them. Yeah, nobody mentioned what color they were while it was happening, and you probably don't know. And I thought, I'm not going to just run out. I thought it it felt to me insulting to just run out and go, Hey, you're black and have diabetes. Can you come on the podcast? I just I'm like, I'm not doing that. And then yeah, I think, no. And then I looked in I like, six weeks prior, there was a I had a guy on it was black, he was gay and black. I was checking all kinds of boxes. And so and it wasn't, by the way, didn't have him on because he was gay and black. I had him on because a friend of mine said, he's a really interesting guy should have on the show. And I was like, cool. So we did that. But I watched every other diabetes platform run to black content. I was like, I don't really think this changes anything. I think you're just satisfying the the the, the echo chamber that told you that this was an important thing to do right now, I don't think you're actually touching the people you think you are, I think you're just satisfying the people who are aware of it, I'm like, you gotta find that people aren't aware that there's a problem and find a way.

Roxy 18:08
I mean, I'm sure that the point of doing that is so that you, you get a different perspective, right? Like, it's not just like, we want to check a box, it's like, we want to actually hear about people who are poor and have diabetes are we want to hear so I think if you're if you're thinking about it, or you know, I'm using your example, but in my example, you know, we were we're looking at, um, this is kind of a very niche interest, but this is we're looking at technical art history. And so I'm reading and doing a journal that that talks about that

Scott Benner 18:38
lady, what's going on over there? Yeah.

Roxy 18:39
And it's like, Wow, it is so white. I mean, this field is, and it's a publication as well. So it's like, you know, a real example of a situation where, where, you know, historically, there has not been a lot of, you know, discussion of like, for instance, graffiti art or like, you know, a lot of archaeological object, like there's a lot of places that we could go with this, that we could also just, we could also just kind of talk about white male painters that are in museum. So it's like, it's a very, I think, the your right to have sort of more goal oriented approach where you're like, I want to talk to somebody who has this particular experience. And I think you do a great job of recruiting pretty diverse voices. But maybe in general, I think the people that are

Unknown Speaker 19:25
more type A, or

Roxy 19:30
you have a lot of like moms that are that are like taking care of their kids and stuff, which is really awesome to hear their voice, like it's not like it's one or the other and you have so many you talk to so many people that I think you really do get a very good cross section of society in general.

Scott Benner 19:44
I like talking to the mothers who are real type A because I know first of all, they they either really no diabetes, or you can kind of gracefully and gently show them that maybe they don't need to be so Hi strong about this thing right here, right uptight about this thing. And it gets the so the people listening get to hear, hey, she was right on being concerned about a, b and c, but she could have let go of, you know, the F and G. And and and because there are people who are worried about things they don't need to be worried about, and you hear it if you listen long enough, I really do think that worrying about things you can't control is a bad idea. Like for yourself. Yeah, you know, for for for management diabetes, as well as you know, your soul. And, you know, so there's a lot of there's a lot of things I tried to sneak into the podcast, but I'm just saying that Listen, I've had on people from like every diverse nature. And I've also turned down people I've turned down every color and every everything that you can think of because they seem crazy to me. And I'm like a crazy person. I don't look at them and go white crazy person, like crazy person. I just go that's a crazy person. No, you can't come on. By my gosh, now I'm feeling very honored. You didn't think I was crazy. After all my emails, Rocky. Sometimes my next sentence was going to be I let a couple crazy people slide through. I promise I'm not crazy. I'm having a lovely time speaking with you.

Roxy 21:18
I know. It's really funny. I actually one of the things I was like, because, you know, I was like thinking about things I would be interested in talking about. And then I was like, okay, Scott totally doesn't want me to do this. So I'm gonna stop. But I was thinking about how like, you know, how difficult it is to kind of strike that balance between, you know, not getting crazy about diabetes and and how much I think your attitude, it's funny, you're very, you know, obviously vary on it and have a lot of ideas and have thought through all of these things. But at the same time, I think I've benefited very much from your sort of like, attitude of not worrying about things you can't control. That's something that I struggle with. I

Scott Benner 22:03
hear that a lot. Actually. It's one of the things about the podcast that I never expected that surprises me when I hear it. That just the I seem calmer, and so people kind of absorb that up when they're listening. Yeah, I

Roxy 22:16
think when I first started listening, I was sort of like, Oh, my gosh, these standards are just, that's never gonna happen. I can't know why these people, you know, this is insane. And then when I started, but then you said something like, and Arden will eat whatever she wants. And I was sort of like, wait a minute, okay, hold on. Like, there's a way to do both. That's amazing. Okay, I'm hooked. Now,

Scott Benner 22:35
you know why you know why people can't think that way is because everything. You might not believe this, if you're just listening, and you're just a consumer of audio, or blogs or something like that. But everyone you're listening to, I would say, not everyone, but most people you're listening to or consuming from I don't do this, but they pick a lane. And then just like you're talking about earlier with, you know, politics or social stuff, they defend that lane to their death. And so they just they make these simple, declarative statements, because they think those are easier for people to follow and understand, we eat low carb, if you want stable blood sugars, you have to eat low carb, but they say that then they defend it, then they say it over and over again, it's working for them in fairness, and it is a really realistic way to keep your blood sugar low and stable. Like I'm not saying it isn't. But when you start saying it over and over and over again, you're selling it as dogma, then just like, like people come by and say I can eat anything I want. Just because I have diabetes. I agree with that too. But there are too many people eating whatever they want. And their blood sugar's are bouncing between 340. That's not the same thing. My daughter eats whatever she wants, and we keep her blood sugar in a nice stable range. That all so that's why when I tell people what the podcast is about is learning how to use insulin. And then you apply it to whatever life choices you want to make. That is really how I think of it. I don't think it's how everybody takes it. But it's how I think of it, I think of it is I'm not a brand. And I'm not defending one narrowcast idea of how to manage diabetes. But that's also it's interesting. People would think of that content providers would think of that as an in specific and unattainable way to create something popular. They think you have to pick this one small thing and be this thing. And I'm none of those things. And this is the most popular diabetes podcast that's ever existed in the world.

Roxy 24:38
Yeah, that's a really interesting point. Yeah. And you definitely get that when you're when you're listening.

Scott Benner 24:44
So diversity in every walk of life is a good thing. You know, even how eat or how you use your insulin. Listen, I've been wearing a G six now for about four or five days. Oh, I know. I've been following you. It's been fun. I'm gonna tell you that With I'm as good at my body is as good at taking care of diabetes as I am at taking care of ardens diabetes. There are times when I look at her graphs, and I'm like hers are more stable the mind goddamnit.

Roxy 25:13
You know, the first morning I woke up after looking at yours and being like, Man working pancreas is there some. And I was I've been like, between like 80 and 92 all night. And I was like, Hey, this is good for

Scott Benner 25:25
you. By the way, another example of what we were talking about, because this is something that prior to this podcast, and this kind of ecosphere, I think, that I've built here of people, this would have been something if I would have just popped up on a social media platform and said, Hey, I don't have diabetes, but I'm wearing a Dexcom. And here are my my sugars, I would have gotten yelled at, by everyone. This isn't fair, you're wasting that you're wasting the thing, I need that transmitter like this would have happened, but blah, blah, right. But it would have come from all sides and they would have piled on. But there's a really good reason I'm doing this. And there's a really valuable reason for people living with diabetes that I'm doing it and the people who are listening, understand that I have not had one course word back. Everybody's just like I appreciate you're doing this. Thanks for updating it with your food all the time. I'm enjoying watching how your blood sugar right now. So my blood sugar doesn't spike. And it doesn't stay up for very long. But you can see that I ate a grilled cheese sandwich. I took French bread and cut like an inch and a half, two inch and a half pieces of French bread. slathered in butter threw a bunch of cheese on it a couple pieces of slicing pepperoni. And my blood sugar went up about 30 points. And it stayed that way for like six hours. Oh, wow. Okay, right. So yeah, look at that. But yeah, it was only like, 120. Right. And you're like, that's, yeah, that's significant. I mean, yeah, yeah. So it's not the number you should be looking at. It's the rise and the stableness of of how that food was pushing my so imagine if I didn't have a pancreas working. That's where you're gonna get a 300 blood sugar for five or six hours. Right, right. And then people like in a suddenly it fell out of nowhere, I don't know what happened. Well, your body, digested the cheese and then got rid of the bread. So it's not bleaching out the glucose from the bread. And you do know what happened, like pay it like this is what happened. You know. So in this timeframe, where this cheese and bread is in your system, you're going to need a lot more insulin, to tamp that number down while this process is happening. And if you can stop that insulin from being active about the time the sandwich is done, you know, being active, you win. Like that's it like you you don't have a high blood sugar and you don't crash later. That's what I wanted to show you the full thing. Yeah, isn't it great? By the way, I'm going to after this, my wife's gonna put it on, and she might have pre diabetes. So you're going to get right, and then we are going to start getting type ones that listen to the show, who want to like highlight a meal that they're good at. And then we'll we'll do that, like it'll pop up. And you'll get to see them do their meal.

Roxy 28:07
I think that's such a cool idea. I mean, so when I first started listening, or I guess when I first got I started listening around the same time as I got a Dexcom which was maybe a couple Wow, lucky, I guess to almost two years ago, two

Scott Benner 28:24
months to get on the show. So yeah, nobody has rescheduled their recording as much as you Roxy Oh, man, whatever I'm just saying.

Roxy 28:36
But anyway, so I yeah, I it's funny, I got a new pump and a Dexcom at the same time, as my diabetes educator told me about your podcast. So I kind of had these like, this was like a very sort of defined moment of management changing because I had all these new tools. And I had, you know, this new information. And one of the first things I thought to myself is, gosh, I wish I could put this on my husband who doesn't have diabetes, because I would just love to see what happens. Like I just it's hard to shoot for something that you don't really understand. And my doctor had once told me Oh, yeah, you know, I I once went up to 180 and she didn't have diabetes, you know? And, and I was sort of like well, what like it's just I looked for research papers I looked for all sorts of stuff and there's nothing out there of just like here's what a working pancreas looks like. Yeah, so for me I was like so excited when you when you put it on because I thought you know that's that's actually like really adding to the body of knowledge and it's not like you say it's not to just be like Nananana booboo, I

Scott Benner 29:40
I have to tell you, it's obviously super helpful. If I if I had a company behind me supporting what I was doing. I would my diabetes space online. You know, if I had a blog that was really popular, would not look like all the other ones. The other ones are just they tell you what's coming and technology Some things people are upset about and talk about that, then they show you a lot of recipes, which gets great, you know, and then nobody cares. And by the way, my, the person that helps me with SEO, which means search engine optimization, which is to see kind of how things work, pick through a bunch of really popular diabetes websites the other day, and my blog, which I put, I'm gonna say 10% of my effort into is as popular or some of them as far as, as clicks go, not good for me. Instead, what I'm saying is, maybe they should be doing something people actually care about.

Roxy 30:38
Yeah, well, I have to say, I am a perfect example of somebody who had never had any interest in the diabetes community whatsoever. Until, and I think, partly to my detriment, but you know, I was very put off by, by that kind of stuff, especially by the recipes by the like, idea that you have to live a certain way. And I just always felt like I was failing in that kind of situation. And I did, I actually got to the point where I was due for a new pump. And I didn't know what pumps were on the market. And I realized I almost just got, I had a Medtronic, and I almost just like, upgraded to the 670 G. And it was really only because I was living. I live in Indianapolis, which is obviously the land of Eli Lilly. And one of my neighbors worked for Lilly, who does work for Lilly, and she and I were going for a walk. And she was kind of asking me about diabetes, or what I was what I was using and whatnot. And she was sort of, I was saying, Oh, yeah, my doctor says I need to get a new pump. And I don't really want to like research. And she was like, Well, you know, you really should. They're all these advances coming blah, blah, blah. And so I had actually, I realized at that point, I've gotten so far out of a loop, which which my dad was always really into technology. So he was always kind of pushing me to get the newest stuff when I was younger. And I had kind of just, like, settled into that this is what I do. I'm not in touch with any diabetics, I don't follow anyone on Instagram, I, you know, not not to be like a Scrooge. But just I think you kind of talked about this as well, like people, once they kind of get their routine and they've had diabetes for a long time, they sort of fall out of the spaces, it makes some and that was definitely me. So it really was like the fact that your podcast is so dynamic and interesting. And and, you know, information, learning how to use insulin, I had never been taught that. I mean, it seems almost insane to me now thinking about it. But you know, I'm a relatively intelligent person. I've like gone to school, like I could definitely I can learn to use insulin, but I had never been taught and I don't know why I never wondered, that's the thing that like, kind of is strange to me. Like, I'm so glad that you really did wonder because

Scott Benner 32:48
it's I don't know, either. Look, it's funny you bring up Indianapolis because in the day back in the day, I've been to a number of diabetes blogger summits that are were always run by pharma companies. They pull together 20 or 30, people add, I guess, popular blogs. And you would sit there and kind of brainstorm how to help people with diabetes. And I'd listened to the room and think that's not right. No, don't do that. And once or twice, I'd say something. And then I was like, Huh, no one cares what I think. And I just shut up. And I just kept listening and thinking that's not right. Like I as a as a theory. I like supporting people emotionally. I think it's a great idea. But chicken and egg, right, like, so if somebody is down, and you want to lift them up, that's great. But if the thing that's pushing them down is still there, and then they just go back down again. So what if we figured out what was pushing them down? And got rid of that? And what if we had to ignore that they weren't happy at the moment to get to that thing. And just okay, we're going to ignore their feelings for a second and get to the problem. It's it's sort of like rushing into a car accident. And a guy's pinned under a steering wheel. He's like, This hurts. This hurts. This hurts. Do you do something for his pain? Or do you get the steering wheel out of his chest? Right, like, so. I just looked at the way people were living with diabetes. And I thought, why don't we get rid of the problem? And stop just treating the symptoms? That that's just how it seems to me like people are sad. It's just the number they'd say stuff like that all the time. Like, they need to know they're not alone. I'm like, wouldn't it be better if it didn't matter if they were alone, like, like, let them decide if they want to be like alone or in a community. But one way or the other if your blood sugar is going from 40 to 300, and back the ad and then up to 250 and then down to 40 all day long. You don't. You don't have an opportunity to live, let alone try to find out why you're sad. You're sad because your goddamn blood sugar's jumping all over the place. You don't know what to do about it. Like how I could never understand. Like, I just sit in a room and I'm like, I don't know what any of you were talking about. There was always like, a third of the people were just trying to figure out how to make their blogs more popular. That was interesting because none of their blogs exist anymore. Because you can't keep it was like vaporware. Like they would say diabetes words out loud. And I'm just like be but you're not helping anybody. You're just, you're just finding a bunch of people are in a bad place and going, Hey, look over here, I'm in a bad place to, like, okay, now what?

Roxy 35:20
Yeah, that's not helpful, right? No, I think that's an interesting point. Because I've thought about this a lot. So, since, I mean, I've always had a lot of technology for the time, but I got diabetes, when, you know, there was a very little technology to have. And so I've kind of seen the evolution of a lot of technology and lived with it. And as and as I think, because I am a very type A personality, I think my parents were very aware that I was, you know, very keen to achieve as a child. And I think they were slightly worried that I would be so focused on numbers, because, you know, I was like that kid who always got A's all the time, you know, and would like cry if I didn't do well on a test. And my dad's like, Who cares? You got to be like, chill out. So I had, I think, coming from that perspective, I think they were quite worried, particularly at that time, when there weren't CGM, and there weren't, you know, there was no real way to both live freely and have the kind of control that we can achieve now. And I think, so I should say that I never had blood sugars that were going from 300 to 40. Like, that would be horrible. And I totally, totally agree with you. But I definitely think that I lived a little bit I had I had, you know, higher a onesies not anything crazy, ever. But like maybe in the high sevens or maybe eight I don't know, something around that for a good part of my childhood. And then, um, but like, mostly I've been pretty, I've had pretty good control, right. But but I think it's interesting now that I've got the technology because I find that my mental health is a little bit. I don't want to say worse, because there's so many things that are so much better. But I do find myself focusing on it in a kind of like, punitive way. And I love that you always kind of talk about like not thinking of it as a number or not just thinking of it as an information. And I think as I get better at it, I guess I guess what I'm trying to say is that like, once I saw how how a perfect Bolus looked, I wanted every Bolus to be

Unknown Speaker 37:33
like that.

Scott Benner 37:34
Yeah, well, I can't picture insanity. All I can give you is the tool.

Roxy 37:38
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. So no, I'm just saying from my, I'm interested as a person living with it. That, um, that my like, I have, I don't know, I feel like I've benefited so much from from the technology and from the information like I would never give that up. But it's interesting to think about, like, how do you kind of balance that? How do you not just live your life as if you're your sole purpose is achieving a target? No. And I think I think it does get much much easier once you've learned the information. And once you've learned how insulin works, and you've done the experiments, I guess for me, it was it was helpful to think about it as an experiment as like a kind of, I guess that story that you tell about? Was it you or Jenny, somebody was talking about just like repeating the same food over and over until you get it right.

Scott Benner 38:27
Yeah, that's what I tell people when they're struggling. I'm like, make the same meal weekend, and just keep practicing it until you're finished till you figure it out. Yeah,

Roxy 38:35
yeah, I guess so. That's that's been, I think, kind of changing my my mindset to have that attitude has been has been helpful. And I'm, but I definitely have more frustration. Now. When I don't, you know, I just have like, a couple weeks, every so often where things get wonky, and I have to change things. And in my logical brain, I'm like, okay, just calm down, and, you know, make the adjustments. But in my, I guess, I mean, maybe it's just because having this going on in my body, I'm not thinking that clearly. So it's like a combination. I think almost there's a degree to which if somebody else could do the thinking, for me, it would be helpful, because I do get to kind of, like rage Bolus, like I mean, I am the quintessential rage Bolus.

Scott Benner 39:23
You're saying that you don't notice it happening till it's happening. And so when you're looking from the outside, like when you're helping a child from, you know my perspective, I can see things coming that my daughter would never see, like, let's say, and this is completely farcical. No one in my house would be like this. But imagine that one day you saw a woman who was just very kind and loving. And you were able because of years and years of perspective to know that the next day that person was going to be very short tempered. Because that's what happens when you know that day happens this day, always fine. That day, yeah, that person doesn't know on the happy day that it's a happy day, as much as they don't know that it's a nasty day on a nasty day. They don't know that about themselves. It's not happening, I can see that happen and say, okay, tomorrow, I'm going to walk around on eggshells, because I know that's coming. Now, sometimes I'm not smart enough to remember sometimes I get sucked up into the happy day, and I think it's gonna last 48 hours. Sometimes it doesn't. And similarly, I can look at my daughter and see situations in her personality, or other things, she says, or does that make me think, oh, she's ovulating now. I'm gonna have to turn up our basil a little bit. But she doesn't know that about herself. Like she would know if she looked on a calendar. But she wouldn't just know because it's her. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, or Yeah, and

Roxy 40:49
there are even like irrational things that I'll do. Like, I've, I've spent a lot of time thinking about like preparation for exercise. And I figured out I have the T slim pump. And I figured out that I have to turn off, like, absolutely love the control IQ. I'm like, bring on the algorithms, the more the merrier. This is one instance in which for some reason, the algorithm doesn't work. So I, if I'm riding my bike to and from work, like when I'm coming home, I'll have eaten lunch, you know, and the insulin will have mostly worn off. But sometimes there's like that tail. And that if I then ride a bike, it'll just, you know, completely tank. And so I know I have to turn the insulin, I have to like, Temp Basal back and forth. This is super annoying about the control IQ. Nobody who's like, developing this kind of technology thinks that makes any sense to have templates and an algorithm because they're like, well, we have activity mode for you. So you should put it in activity mode. But activity mode somehow just like drives me up like crazy. And it does, it really doesn't make sense. I don't know why. I mean, maybe there's, I'm sure there's something in the algorithm, it's just a bit more aggressive than I need. Yeah, so I and theoretically, you could just put it on not as far in advance because normally I'll temp, I'll like do a temporary rate of like, 50% about two hours before I'm going to ride my bike. But, and I always know like, I basically going to double the power of that insulin if I'm going to exercise and I still have a little bit left in my system, but once every single time or not every time but frequently, I will kind of look at it and go like maybe this time it'll be okay. Like maybe this time the the point six that's left won't act like a unit and a half or whatever, it'll it'll just kind of go away and I'll just start writing and then I'll you know, get home and be low and it's like, come on, you know this until I'll do these sort of irrational things with like wishful thinking that I'm sure if I was taking care of another person I would never do

Scott Benner 42:51
the maybe this time wishful thinking those two phrases go together so well around diabetes. It's like it's like oh, my blood sugar's you know, got a little low. It's but it's 75. I'm just gonna eat a half a gram cracker. Maybe I won't need insulin for that half a gram cracker? Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. But yeah, because graham crackers are harsh, by the way, and they need to be covered with insulin. And yeah, but people do it all the time. Like, I'll just take a little bit. I love it. I love when people can't figure out that, you know, they ate a handful of jelly beans because their blood sugar was 50 and then ended up being 200. And then the next time they're 50 they don't just think well, I wonder what would happen if I had a third of those jelly beans.

Roxy 43:32
I tell you I mean some of the things I think back to when I was in college and I would get up in the middle of the night I had a friend who would you know work really late and I was always Early to bed. But I would get up because I below and so we would sometimes like run into each other in the kitchen and she's coming in from the library and I'm like sitting there wolfing down, you know the amount of cereal I would eat and then just go back to sleep like I mean it's insane I must have been just like driving my blood sugar up to a million I don't even do well and I wouldn't do it differently the next time like I think it's partly that like low low brain like eat the whole kitchen. Um, but but even with even when I'm not low I will sometimes make a sound like I'm you know, completely hopeless but I'm really not but I will sometimes have wishful thinking around around things like I'm going to go out for a walk and I don't really want to eat before it so even though I have a half a unit on board still I'm just going to turn off my basil and see what happens. You

Scott Benner 44:28
know what will happen is you'll get low because the Temp Basal won't catch you in time and then you'll get high after Yes, I think Listen, the other night Arden's blood sugar got low, and she was you know, eating food to take care of it. And it was a significant like, you know, it was a persistent low. And she's, she looks at me and she goes, take this from me. I was like, okay, so I just took the food from her. She's like, I was gonna keep eating that. I was like, gotcha. She's like, I know I have no self control right now just helped me. I love it. But you know, it must have taken me three years to explain that to her. Because I'm not a pro, I really am not a person who wants to beat something into your head right away, like I would like over time for you to notice that. When you're low, you're going to eat more food than you need. Because you've got this feeling your brain is telling you basically your brain is like, yo, we're dying. Eat carbohydrates. Yeah, right. It's intense. And then you have to have, you have to have enough clarity in that moment to say, I just need to eat enough here. And understand what enough is. And in a world before CGM, the common practice was just was to was to eat the kitchen so you don't drop dead. Which made sense then, by the way, but you're not that same situation anymore if you have some of this technology.

Roxy 45:50
Yeah. And I think there was, you know, I was really, I'm not sure how my parents did it. But I think they really did raise me with very little fear around diabetes. Like, there was a real kind of, yeah, fearlessness, sort of like, trust your body you have, I'm very grateful. I've always felt my lows very, very well. Like I wake up when I'm low. I'm really lucky in that way. So you know, I was, and I knock on wood every time I've, I mean, now my CGM alarms, but you know, when I was a kid, I would wake up and I'd be sweaty, I'd be very low, like I would now I wake up when I'm, you know, 65 or something, or 70. And the things, you know, beeping, but I would probably be pretty low at that point. But anyway, there was I was never like, afraid of insulin or afraid of any of that stuff. So I think that's, that was helpful, but a lot of like, keeping that fear at bay, was knowing you could just eat something and it'll be fine. And like, not worrying about the highs so much. I

Scott Benner 46:50
think I think, I think there's a lot of good that came out of that 60s 70s 80s parents who didn't know any better, so they were just like, you're gonna be fine. Like a good vibe of that is okay. You don't mean like the rest of it's not great. But the vibe of it is a good, it's a good, it's a good posture to take, I think.

Roxy 47:10
Yeah, I mean, it really, I think that's what I was kind of trying to get at before, like, my mental health around diabetes at that point was like, I've got control of this, like, I can feel it. And I mean, we had some, some scares, like, I mean, to me, I had a seizure, like full on, went to the hospital, like passed out all of it. When I was in seventh grade, right at the beginning of like, the transition to middle school, and I, you know, did something stupid and Bolus way too much? And, yeah, so I like I mean, mostly, mostly, I felt everything and it was all good. But like, my parents had a lot of reasons to be fearful, but somehow managed to kind of keep that from me. And, and so I always felt like I was thinking back about this. And I was like, you know, I, like lived in Italy by myself up on a mountain, like, three miles from the nearest bus stop, and I didn't have a car and I didn't speak Italian. And my parents were like, it's cool. Just, you're just like, nobody ever talked about diabetes.

Scott Benner 48:14
Pocket, Roxy, you'll be fine.

Roxy 48:17
Like, and I remember, I got food poisoning at one point. And I was living alone up there. And I was just, like, barfing my brains out, you know? And, I mean, now I think about it. And I was like, That was crazy. Like,

Scott Benner 48:29
I think you're here to come to the conclusion that you were have terrible parents and you thought they were good.

Roxy 48:36
Do you remember my dad being like, so happy? When CGM came out? He was pushing me to get one and I was kind of like, what's the big deal? These things aren't accurate yet? Like, I don't need this. And he's like, please just wear it. Oh my gosh, you're so sure he was losing a ton of sleep as I was up on that mountain in Italy. But

Scott Benner 48:52
you know, in in my mind, your parents of the reverse Beverly Hillbillies. You know that right? from talking to your sister? Yeah, I mean, they just they bugged out of the city. They went to Vermont. How do I even remember that I remember nothing about most of these podcast episodes in case you're wondering, like, I'll get these notes and I get these long notes. And they're like, Oh my god, they're talking me like I'm like this person feels like we know each other. So I'm looking because I don't want to like they have this like such a nice connection I it does mean a lot to me. It's just a lot of people putting their name right Roxy in so it's hard to keep up like some people will just like drop back into my life and be like, hey, that Temp Basal work great. I'm like, do you think the only one I talked about that?

Roxy 49:40
I'm amazed you even like kept track of my my nagging emails because I'm like, he doesn't know who I am. It's fine. I sit down

Scott Benner 49:47
once a month. It takes me about three hours and I power through all my emails and I read every one of them. And I hate every second of it, not about the emails. I just they hate the process of doing it. But I just I think it's important like it, you know, it seems important to me and, and I learn a lot from them too. Like I like seeing sometimes people's fears or leaps they've made or just imagine all the notes that have come back to me where people are saying, like, this is what the podcast is to me. And I'm just like, God, I never imagined that, you know what I mean? Like, they interviewed a girl the other week, and you'll hear it sometime in 2021. Probably. And, and she was talking to me for like, a half an hour about how the podcast has taken our agency so far down, and it's leveling out and getting better. And I finally am like, you know, can you tell me what part of the podcast did that for you? And like thinking she was going to talk about Pre-Bolus singer understand or Basal insulin better. And she's just like, it's the community. I always knew how to do all the other stuff. I just never did it. And I'm just like, what about the community? Because I don't know, just, I just wanted to do a better job all the sudden after listening to the podcast, just it was that simple? And I never if you could have, you could have stolen all my money in a bat right then because I would never have bet on that. As she was.

Roxy 51:01
Yeah, that's what the the CD who met who recommended the podcast, to me the first time said, She's like, it's a really great place to find community. And I don't know if that was like a way of medical professional, like being able to recommend a podcast. Because I was like, I don't need community. It's fine. I'm cool. But then I was like, Well, you know, might have something interesting. She had a lot of great things to say. So when I, when I checked it out, I was like, This is not really I mean, I definitely was interested to hear people's stories, but I'm definitely more of the like, give me those like, tips those tricks, I want to try it, you know,

Scott Benner 51:40
it there's a such an interesting mix of people listening, there are some people that don't care, a lick about that. And they and or the Facebook page is an interesting place to because the management people talk. But the other people listen. So there's, there's a whole there's a whole thread of people who are vocal on the Facebook page, which by the way, I'm really proud of Still, if you ever hear me Tell me, I'm telling you, I'm not proud of it, it fell apart. But it's still an amazing place. If you have type one diabetes, Juicebox Podcast, type one diabetes, it's a private Facebook group. There's like 8000 people in there. By the time you hear this, there'll be I'm hoping 10,000 people in there, it grows slowly. It's not one of these things that goes from like 10 to 20 to 30,000 people all at once, and you've just got a bunch of nonsense, it doesn't help anything. It's so focused. And and somebody asks a question, it gets answered, it gets answered in a way that I'm just like, wow, if I would have sat and answered every one of these questions, I would have said a lot of what's being said here. And so it's interesting to watch the proliferation of the podcast, go out, stick to somebody and then bounce back in again. It's really I'm very grateful for for everybody in there. It's really interesting and valuable for people. But at the same time, there's, there's still people in there that I can see them, I can see that they're there by the activity, but they never say a word. It's very interesting how it works, then there are other people are like do this, try this, do this. And it's a perfect mix.

Roxy 53:09
That is truly an achievement because Facebook is a nightmare.

Scott Benner 53:13
Yeah, no kidding. I keep waiting for it to explode. But it just keeps getting nicer. And it was one of those things. I've said it before. People are like, Can you make a Facebook page where we can talk? And I thought, No, I don't want to do that. Yeah, it seems terrible. No, actually, I've

Roxy 53:26
pretty much gone off Facebook. But whenever I do go back on, I always check that that page, because I'm like, Oh, I wonder what people are up to. And it's always I totally agree. It's lovely. It's like an really active resource that existed when I was a kid. I can't even imagine how good I'd be a diabetes by now just

Scott Benner 53:40
jump in somewhere and say out loud what you're thinking. And then people are like, Oh, you know, move this block over. It's like, it's like, I don't know. It's amazing. So and I really appreciate that your diabetes educator and all the diabetes educators that recommend the show, do so that's another thing I see all the time. People coming to the Facebook page have to answer a couple of quick questions, just so you can make sure they're like a real person or not a Nigerian scammer more specifically. And by the way, Facebook scamming in Nigeria is a it's got to be the thing. It's like their gross national product, I think. But so, you know, where'd you hear about the podcast? And a lot of people say from their doctors.

Roxy 54:18
Well, yeah, I sent the pro tips episode to my doctor who's, uh, who's got type one. And actually, I connected with Jenny after hearing her on your podcast because I was like, I need a new doctor. Like, I was not happy with my doctor and she was able to connect me She's like, I think there's a type one who is who is a, you know, who is an endocrinologist in Indian I was like, Oh my gosh, I've never seen somebody with type one. This is going to be amazing. And it's just I can't recommend that enough. Like just having somebody who lives with it is so helpful. But because it's so you know, when I think about it, I'm like, honestly, how does a doctor like even learn this? Like if you don't have diabetes or know somebody, like you really have to live with it and try things to actually really learn how to live with it. That's really redundant, but I'm just like, there needs to be like a simulator diabetes kid that doctor can use. Because it seems so it seems so impossible to learn to learn this information without like, I don't know. Anyway, there's

Scott Benner 55:27
no i steadfastly believe that if I if I wasn't a stay at home Dad, I would be terrible at diabetes. Yeah, yeah. Cuz I the time hard. I did time. You know? Yeah, really? Look at it. Yeah. That's so it was just a big deal for me. Just having to look try do it again. Didn't work or why not? Look, try do it again. And, you know, my wife was a big help, too. And like, she beat it out of me like the drama stuff. Like I would get dramatic in my own way too. And she'd be like, this is not helping. She's like running around the house yelling is not fixing this. I was like, gotcha.

Roxy 56:09
You guys are good TV. Yeah. My husband is like, Oh, my gosh, he is hilarious. He's like the most, you know, English. Cool headed, like an emotional. Ever

Scott Benner 56:20
I do something wrong. And she tells me I'm wrong. That's perfect. That seems to be what our famous just drags me forward. You know? And that system worked out there. Yeah, every once and I'm like, you don't do everything right. Because this isn't about me. And I was like, Okay, I say, it's about me. I'm bad. I got it. I figured out my place in the world. Don't worry. I know. So interestingly enough, we've spoken for about 55 minutes. Oh my god, you're on the show because your sister was on the show. And we've spoken about that for about nine seconds. So maybe we should look that up for a second. Okay, yeah. Let's go back to that. Okay, so what's that episode called? It's called Zoe and Roxy's wild ride. Right now. Yeah. Yeah, I just really listened to it good to have it fresh in my mind. And so you heard someone on the show who was worried about their type one sibling. Feeling left alone. Made you wonder how your sister felt you forced your sister to come on a podcast she knew nothing about. She was a great sport, and really don't talk to you all about picking chicken trailers as I recall. Yep. Yes. She picked through my fascination with Vermont. Which I don't it's it's almost a perfect place. And then when it goes off the rails, it goes off the rails spectacularly. There's no such an interesting point.

Roxy 57:35
I every time I go back there that is exactly my arc of of thinking.

Scott Benner 57:41
I just I was like, This place is magnificent. Yeah. Why is that man's chickens living in an abandoned travel trailer.

Roxy 57:48
Hmm. We can trailer Scott chicken trailer. As I was listening to her episode, I'm shouting you're going? What do you think this thing is? And you're describing it to her and I'm shouting chicken trailers. Oh, chicken.

Scott Benner 58:01
or just in general, and not for nothing? But it's 2020 maybe an air conditioner is not a bad idea. Just get an air conditioner.

Roxy 58:09
Oh, See there? My like eco warrior comes out. I live in Indianapolis. And I still don't use an air conditioner.

Scott Benner 58:15
freakin heavy. Like I mean, really? What are we talking? It gets hot out. Just take a little the humidity out of here. You don't have to make it 65 degrees in your living room. Just make it a comfortable situation.

Roxy 58:28
I you know, I think I was like meant to live in a really hot, humid place. Because when that when it's on the you know, in the winter, I'm like, crank up that heat. But I can deal with heat really well and then not so much cold. So I look really great when I'm like, I don't use my air conditioner.

Scott Benner 58:42
Good for in hindsight, and then it's like, but I crank up the heat like crazy. And I'm telling you in hindsight, I recognize that I was about five minutes away from being in a horror film where my family killed me for taking them somewhere where there was no air conditioning.

Roxy 58:57
That's so funny. I can imagine that. There's that like horrible feeling when you realize you've paid for an air b&b. And it's not what you expected I can really relate to the whole

Scott Benner 59:05
thing was perfect son's air conditioning situation. really wasn't lovely. Vermont let you down. It really does. And you know, Ben and Jerry's isn't going to overwhelm no air conditioning. That's for certain that only last for a minute. Anyway, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. Nobody's perfect. If you came to New Jersey, you'd be horrified. But I'll tell you what, you wouldn't be hot in the summer. So there. That is true. Anyway, what did you learn from listening to your sister on the podcast? Anything? Yeah, I

Roxy 59:37
think I was really I mean, I think I was suspecting that she would say what she said, or you know some of what she said like I definitely thought it was I think what interested me the most is I sort of said earlier was that this parent was so worried about their younger, they're younger child because I kind of thought, you know, diabetes only affects the person that It touches like that was kind of. I know, that's not really how it worked in my family. But, um, I, my perception was like, it didn't really ripple out to my sister and I was. So that's kind of why I was curious what she would say. And I know that it has affected her but in, I think mostly neutral or even, in funny ways, positive ways. Um, because I think there was really an attitude of like, I don't know, I guess my mom grew up with a her younger sister had was born with a hole in her heart. And so she had like, really intense few years as a as a young kid, and even up into like her early teens where she couldn't walk very far without like breathing really hard. And thankfully, she had surgery that kind of fixed it. But I think that ethos of sort of like, not pitying the person who is, you know, got a condition of any kind and sort of being very Get on with it, you can do anything anybody else can do. I think it was very empowering for me, and I, and I thought, you know, when I hear what I'm, you know, how it affects, I honestly think it's way worse. Diabetes is way worse for parents than it is for the people with a lot of cases, maybe not in all cases, but certainly in my case, I think it was, I think my parents did a lot of kind of shouldering the burden for me, and for an especially, you know, that kind of then like, went on to my sister as well, because they're sort of not expressing their anxiety and their, in their concern, and all of that stuff that I'm sure what's going on in their heads. But I think, I don't know, it certainly doesn't seem like the best sort of cushiest approach, like the most like, loving, healthy approach, maybe, to be like, just, you know, denying how you're feeling. But it's really, I don't know what I'm communicating to people. But all I can say is that by kind of having that sort of attitude that I think you've said this before, they like you didn't want to see Arden as as diabetes, you wanted to see her as your daughter, you know, and I think my parents were really good at that. And so I never really, like even when I went to college, I thought my friends didn't know I had diabetes, not because I was hiding it. I mean, I was testing my blood sugar at that, you know, can team in public, like, I've always been very open about it, but I just sort of never like identified as that, particularly. And I'm not saying that that's the way to go, necessarily. But it's interesting that that was sort of like how it affected me and that my sister then felt totally fine about it. And she's not even scared about her kids having it or getting it herself or anything. Like, I have a lot more anxiety around other health. You know, conditions, for whatever reason, I think, like my fear around diabetes was like, I didn't have a lot of that. But I have like, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop in terms of something else happening to me. So you know, it's it's a slippery little snake, but it is kind of interesting. Sorry. No,

Scott Benner 1:03:04
I was gonna say, I don't actually identify as anything. I don't even understand that. I don't understand like running around going. I'm Yeah, I love this. I'm so about this like,

Roxy 1:03:16
yeah, I kind of agree. Actually, I don't I don't there's nothing about me. That's particularly like, yeah, that I need everybody to know. But I guess I'm also kind of lucky that I don't have you know, some I don't know, I think there are people with like, more severe disabilities, for instance, that, you know, the world needs to know, in order to kind of accommodate them. Yeah, diabetes isn't really like that. So, um,

Scott Benner 1:03:40
yeah, no, I agree. I understand that. Like, listen, if I had, you know, if, if my left leg was a foot and a half shorter than my right leg, I'd be like, hey, there's something about me, you need to know, you know, that seems important. I just mean, like, in general, like, I would never tell somebody like, I'm the fan of this team, or I really care about this political idea, or I just don't understand. I got I said recently on a podcast, I don't know if it's been out yet or not. I don't even identify myself about how I look like, in my mind, that was interesting. I heard that I'm the thoughts in my head. I don't really think about myself beyond that. Like, I really feel like I'm in a vessel, I need the vessel to work, but I'm the thoughts in my head. And you either like me, or you don't. And if I was taller, or shorter or skinny or fat, or I don't see why you would care if you liked me, like that's, you know, if you got along with the thoughts that were coming out of my that's just how it feels to me. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should maybe this is a long winded way of avoiding setups. I'm not 100%

Roxy 1:04:42
but no, I think I think it's, I think that's like comes with self confidence or with or something. I don't know. I feel like I was sort of born with not really caring what people thought about me. And I've, the more I've, I mean, I don't think that was something I cultivated. I think that was something But just some people kind of have, I'm sure you can cultivate it as well. But, um, it's kind of a gift. It's really nice not to care.

Scott Benner 1:05:08
Listen, I agree. When when Kelly and I were first together, I'm never forget how she said to me one day, some people don't like you. And I was like, Nah, but imagine, you know, and like, I'm a person that not bother you. And I went, No, not really. And then then I pointed out somebody who I thought was like, a real a hole. And I was like, what would it say about me if he liked me? Yeah, exactly. Like, why? Why would I want that person to like me, I would want I'm hoping that a person like that looks at me and doesn't see anything in common. Like, right. And that was the first time like, that was her. I thought I always thought of that as her like her Catholicism, like, like, why are you not working harder for everyone to like you? I was like,

Roxy 1:05:54
Well, I think a lot of times, like I do think as a woman, you're often sort of put in a position where you, you're supposed to kind of please the people around you, you know, there's a lot of, I don't know, I feel like there are situations in which I don't feel comfortable speaking up, because I'm afraid people are gonna think I'm nagging or being whiny are, you know, that kind of thing. Although I do try to kind of shake that off. So I'm sure there's certain I think partly, it's privileged not having to worry about

Scott Benner 1:06:21
Yeah, listen the other day, Arden said very, and she meant this with a ton of confidence. No one's going to marry me. But she meant it proudly.

Roxy 1:06:29
I know. She's like not really on the podcast. But I just love this. This like Phantom persona of art. And she seems like the coolest. Well,

Scott Benner 1:06:36
I'm looking at a box next to my desk right now. And it has a second microphone. And it just arrived from Oh my gosh. But I finally was able to she needs um, she needs hours. for school to to graduate. I don't know why I can never think of the name of the hours. It's such Oh, like internship hours, or something. You know, you have to do something like community service. Thank you. Yeah. I don't know why I can't think of that. community service hours. And she found out that being on the podcast, because she has diabetes in the podcast reaches so many people that that would count as community service hours. Oh, that makes sense. She just like she was like, Oh, right, fine. And I was like, you gotta come on the podcast, and said she has to do a certain amount of hours. So show man she'll give me great. So we're gonna have like a, like a whole series. Like a short series with Arden probably in 2020. Awesome. She'll loosen up when she really loosens up that then then I might be like, Oh my god, I can't believe people are really hearing her cuz she's just me, but from a different. She's just me as a girl in a different generation. So funny. I

Roxy 1:07:44
definitely think it'll be interesting to hear what she has to say. I'm I mean, I'm yeah, it seems like everybody's really everybody's perspective is very interesting. You

Scott Benner 1:07:51
know, I've never interviewed somebody face to face before. So that'll be interesting. Oh, my gosh, I might be bad at it. We'll find out. And she'll tell you if you are. Anything like I was as a teenager, she's gonna be like, you suck at this. I don't know why people listen to this. That's probably going to come out of her mouth at some point. So because sometimes the show will pop up. And she'll be like, oh, like, Yeah, I know. I can't believe

Roxy 1:08:14
she like she really know what you're up to. Or she kind of just like, doesn't pay attention.

Scott Benner 1:08:19
Oh, no, she's aware. Okay, yeah, she knows. I don't talk about anything about her that she doesn't know about. And she's comfortable with people knowing because she doesn't care. She really doesn't care. And she knows the podcast reaches a lot of people. And that's okay with her. Sometimes she'll say to me, can you tell your people to stop trying to get on my Insta? Oh, I can't. I said if they find you and you don't want to fall, don't just say no, you're a private. She's like I do, but it's annoying. I'm like, Okay.

Roxy 1:08:49
That's funny. I would never think to do just that. She's like, she's a celebrity. She doesn't even know it.

Scott Benner 1:08:57
She's Oh, a woman sent this lovely note the other day about I know Arden because Arden was on the beginning of the Dexcom episode. She helped me put the CGM. Yeah, yeah, that's when I first I was like, Oh my gosh, she's, she's like, you know, she's actually there. Her voice barely mumbling. She's like, she's like this far off the microphone. Yeah, no, I don't know. Leave me alone. I'm like Arden, just talking about my action. I don't want to. So but somebody sent this. To thank her. Like said she's like, I get that you don't love being on the podcast. She's like, but you and your data really helped me a lot. I want to thank you. And I showed her that and she's like, oh, like, this is a lovely note. And it's really nice. She has I know just, I don't I know. I'm like, so I can't wait to see if I can make something out of her. What I hope is that she gets comfortable because I think she'll get chatty. And then that would be really interesting. That's that's what I'm gonna try to get her to. So we'll say no, we're gonna have her friend come on to. Oh, right. Yeah, that's so that'll be Nice. But yeah, so your sister was delightful. I'm glad you forced her to come on the show. I really enjoyed talking to you as well. I have one question. If you can't answer me on the recording, that's fine, but I want to know when we get done. Okay, it's your sister still with that boy?

Roxy 1:10:17
She is she so she actually was like, um, you can update Scott on my life.

Unknown Speaker 1:10:23
Give us a great, I'm

Roxy 1:10:24
glad I'm gonna be helping people like think about diabetes. Um, no, she she actually with COVID. She graduated from law school. But then her moved to Arizona. They told her she didn't have to move. She could just like work from Vermont. So it's hilarious, because in the episode with you, she's like, I'm probably not going to get to move back to Vermont for a really long time. But it turns out that she spent most of 2020 living in Vermont, with my parents. So she's living her dream. But she is still with her boyfriend who's in Boston. And he's finishing his LLM. But he got a job in New York. So I don't know that they're, that he's I don't think he's gonna move to Arizona with her. So they'll still have the opportunity to try when he

Scott Benner 1:11:04
was explaining it, Roxy, I was like, This isn't gonna last. But just because. But just the geography of it had me.

Roxy 1:11:17
I mean, I shouldn't talk because I did three years of long distance with my husband who is in England and we ended up together so maybe, like, you know, Vermonters have lasting power in the long distance relationship department.

Scott Benner 1:11:31
Roxy, I don't understand how a British guy in a jeweler in Indianapolis to be honest with you, so the whole thing's confusing to me. Oh, yeah. He's a British Jew. Is he really? Did you know those existed? When did you get that at? The just a special order that how do you accomplish that?

Roxy 1:11:46
No, they're only like, they're very few. But actually, I had a Jewish professor at University who was like, do you know they're only 100,000 eligible Jewish boys? And how'd you get one? That's amazing. It was a total accident. Yeah. You didn't even do it on purpose. Oh, no, no, I'm not that out. I got we got set up on a blind date. So yeah, funny cuz he sound like I like the Jewish boys. So I guess it maybe was bound to happen. does he sound like Adele? Um, you know, Adele is from I think she is from East London. And he's from Essex. So he definitely has like an Essex twine, which is not you know, the Queen's English. Let's say,

Scott Benner 1:12:30
I helped somebody from England the other day, get their basil set up a little bit. And we just sort of, you know, people, people who don't live in America, they, they just can't call overseas easily. For some reason. I don't know what 2020 I think she's talking like through like Facebook, audio or something like that. And she's, I'm trying to help her. And I just thought that I finally said, Look, we just have to get this out of the way for a second. I was like, because I can't focus. You sound like Adele. She's like, No, I don't I was like, to me you do. I'm just saying

Roxy 1:13:03
I mean, I think well would object to me, describing his voice as Adele's, although he does like a little falsetto. So, you know, maybe

Scott Benner 1:13:13
I want to hear him order, like a really traditional sort of Jewish meal in his British accent. Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:20
No, no, we

Roxy 1:13:21
only have a fried fish. You know, it's actually really funny is that he loves to do you'll appreciate this as a someone from New Jersey or who lives in New Jersey, he likes to do his terrible American accent. And his favorite thing to say is two bucks a slice. So he'll be like, I'll have some pizza, two bucks a slice. It's like really? That's so the whole time we were driving to New Jersey, when we were doing a road trip. He was like, practicing that. And I was like, I'm actually gonna die, right?

Scott Benner 1:13:48
Friend of mine told me one time, you are so close to being Jewish without being Jewish. It's fascinating. And I was like, thank you. Actually, because I'm adopted thought I was for a long time. Like, I felt like that must have been my lineage. Because if you see that, right, like it just was, it seemed obvious to me my whole life, right. And then it turned out like my adoptive mother was from like, the Carolinas, and she met a guy in like Pennsylvania. And you know, nobody can figure out who might adopt My my, I said, adoptive mother I should have I should have said, um, but so, my birth mother, thank you. I thought no one knows the birth father had never been able to do like the 23andme and see if you've done that nobody, nobody pops. I do have a tiny bit of that, but not enough to explain my chattiness and my hands moving all over the place while I'm talking. Yeah, I

Roxy 1:14:39
was saying to Zoey the other day, I was like she was she had made lot because and she was put on my Instagram. And I was like, Oh my gosh, what are you know, can you tell me the recipe? And we were joking about something. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I just realized one day if I have a kid I will be a Jewish mother. Like, that's insane.

Scott Benner 1:14:58
You are already just from the email. You're sending me. Yeah, exactly. I'm like Maggie, and I like to chat and yeah, you know, all of my really close friends are, are Jewish. And because I need somebody to talk to me as fast as I want to talk, I really need that.

Roxy 1:15:14
And you know, that definitely, like, translate translates across the Atlantic, like, my mother in law is definitely the quintessential Jewish Mama. And yeah, it doesn't matter. She has an English accent.

Scott Benner 1:15:26
I get hit on the front, I get on the phone with any number of my friends. And just like you can just say a word out loud, like COVID right? And an hour and a half later, we're like, Can you believe? Like, it doesn't end and you realize you have to get off the phone or this forever. Totally complain about the world and fix everything.

Roxy 1:15:46
There you go. Well, maybe that's Yeah, I mean, yeah, the New Jersey, not Jewish, but kind of Jewish vibe you've got going on. It's definitely it's definitely like, feels like home, let's say

Scott Benner 1:15:57
works for this podcast, that's for sure. Alright, so Roxy, we are finding ourselves in the situation where I have other things to do. And if I don't just stop talking to you, I'm not gonna stop talking to you. Well, that was very much fun. Thanks for having me. It was great to chat. I really appreciate you doing this. I really do. I this whole thing has been terrific. Like there are so many things inside of the podcast that I think could be their own thing like Samantha's like Samantha's like, trimester as she's pregnant thing. Like that's like, to me, that's like six hours of just great conversation about being pregnant with diabetes. That was fantastic. I get afraid it gets lost inside of this. But I there's no better way to serve this audio to people. So

Roxy 1:16:41
well. I think your your, like new initiative of doing the live boluses is pretty cool. Like, I love that you keep innovating and I love the stuff that's kind of been happening forever. But I also think, you know, the pro tips and it's it's all good. It's it's cool that you're keeping it moving and continuing to innovate.

Scott Benner 1:16:59
I appreciate you saying that I'm gonna make. I'm gonna get something out loud now. Right. So keep the timeline straight here. It's December 14 2020. People probably won't hear this till June 2021. But sometime in the next 18 months, you will see a large diabetes organization rip off my live CGM. I do. Hmm. Just like one of the bigger ones ripped off my day of diabetes idea. And I could list a number of other things. But I like being ahead of the curve. And I like thinking about how to serve I take it as flattery, right? Yeah, well, listen, if I wasn't, if I didn't have the next idea, it would make me upset. Like if it was my best idea I've ever had. And I never had another one. I'd be like, they're ripping me off. Like,

Roxy 1:17:46
you know, you're building the community where people feel safe to share that. Like, I never would have shared my agency before. Like, I never would tell people that it was totally private and certainly wouldn't want people looking at what I was doing. You know how my blood sugar's when we're moving. But after listening to, you know, the way you talk about it, and the people how open people are, it's sort of like, I think it's really essential, because you won't just get people out of nowhere to share their boluses. Like, you have to build that. So I bet that yours will work better than theirs.

Scott Benner 1:18:16
I have to tell you, you just made me feel very good with that last statement. I appreciate that very much I because it is my goal, like I am trying to I'm trying to do to people with diabetes, what my wife is doing to me, I'm just trying to drag you out of wherever you started as forward as possible. Before I divorce you. Oh, man, and can we have can we have your wife on the podcast, too? I really wanted to talk about that recently. She and I and she's like, am I ever gonna be on? I was like, Yeah, one day I was like, but right away. I just like, she's like the podcast is six years old. I was like, seems too soon. Still. You shouldn't you should just be like, when you need community service. You can. Yeah, if you have any community service, I will let you go commit a crime. And then I will know, I will definitely come on at some point. And now that I have the microphone, it'll be easier, obviously. So we'll see what happens to what you do. And yeah, thanks for chatting. Thank you. Hey, could you do me a favor? Sure. If I ever get bad at this, will you send an email and tell me I'm really not a Nike person. I don't I don't know.

Roxy 1:19:28
But you know if I can foster my Jewish inner Jewish mother, I promise I will do that. Yeah, no, maybe I should send you some more positive reinforcement when you do good things. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:19:36
that I've been married a long time positively. Reinforcing me just makes me feel like you know, I have cancer and I don't know yet. So don't Yeah, I feel like yeah, I kind of felt no, okay. Yeah, I don't I don't please, when women are kind to me, I get nervous. Like, why is this happening? What's happening right now?

Roxy 1:19:52
They're gonna Well, you know, constructive criticism is really only because you know, that you can take And that it helps. So yeah,

Scott Benner 1:20:01
without that, I have to be honest without the women in my life, I'd be 21 playing a video game somewhere. I love that you say that it's so funny. It was very true. Anyway, I thank you very much for doing this. I hope you have a great holiday. And here's a little bonus for you. Today's episode is with a type one who works at mission control at NASA. It'll be up in a couple of hours. It's a really good, so cool. Cool story. Rock on. Alright, have a good one. You too. Hey, bye. I'm gonna thank Roxy for coming on the show. She was a ton of fun and completing the circle. with Zoe, you know, you see that? And isarco I'm making a circle with my hands and asked me if you saw it. So obviously, I'm tired. also want to thank the T one D exchange and remind you to go to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. Last but not least, touched by type one.org. Go to touch by type en.org right now just see what they're up to check into their programs, their offerings. It's all they're asking is for you to look and see what they're all about. Touched by type one.org on Instagram and Facebook. He Wendy exchange.org. There's a lot of links, click on them and I'll see you later.

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