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Podcast Episodes

The Juicebox Podcast is from the writer of the popular diabetes parenting blog Arden's Day and the award winning parenting memoir, 'Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad'. Hosted by Scott Benner, the show features intimate conversations of living and parenting with type I diabetes.

#172 John Loses His Wings

Scott Benner

When an airline pilot is diagnosed with type 1 diabetes...

John lost his career as an airline pilot when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. He hopes that one day he can regain his status and continue flying for a living. 

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Alexagoogle play/android - iheart radio -  or their favorite podcast app.

See Quincy the koala wearing a Dexcom G6 here...

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT


DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Everyone welcome. This is Episode 172 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by dexcom, makers of the G six continuous glucose monitor, and Omni pod, the tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been using for a decade. In today's episode, we're going to be speaking with john, john was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes as an adult when he was an airline pilot. This, of course, meant that he lost his job and had to find different work. We're going to talk to john about living with Type One Diabetes, about losing his job, but moreover, about what he's trying to do to get that job back. When you finish listening to today's episode, if you're moved to try to get a Omnipod demo, you can go to my omnipod.com Ford slash juicebox. Or click on the links in your show notes or at Juicebox podcast.com. where maybe you'll be interested in finding out more about the Dexcom gs six continuous glucose monitor. In that case, you want to go to dexcom.com forward slash Juicebox Podcast again, the links in the show notes, or Juicebox podcast.com. Hey, it's a little bonus special treat today, I'm going to put a link in the show notes or you can go to art and stay calm to my blog to see this. But there's a koala bear named Quincy at the San Diego Zoo and he's wearing a Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. It's pretty amazing. I have a video on my blog of Quincy having his blood sugar check, having his dexcom put on, and him getting insulin, which all was really very interesting. It's a short little three minute video produced by the San Diego Zoo. It's incredibly interesting. So look for the links for that. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. And always consult a physician before making changes to your health care plan.

I really appreciate you doing this. And I'm glad we were able to slide the time to make it a little better for you. So thanks so much.

John 2:20
Oh, yeah, yeah, I appreciate you moving that time I my work schedule I, you know, have various shifts out the training department, I just happen to get assigned one that starts at 7pm and goes until 2:30am last night, so that was enjoyable.

Unknown Speaker 2:36
Do you always work overnight?

John 2:38
Um, no. Basically, the way our training department works, that's where I work for an airline, um, and I'm in our flight training department, we have flight simulators that basically run 20 hours a day. And so the instructors, you know, have to basically work around four hour shifts in there. So long story short, they just kind of cycle through, you know, sometimes I'll get the night shifts that are like eight to noon. And, you know, other times I'll get the really late night ones, because we have so many pilots that have to go through either new training or recurrent training, that they just have to run those things nonstop. So when I do that particular type of instruction, you just have to go with what they assign you.

Scott Benner 3:25
You know, just, I get I made me wonder like, do you ever see anything in those simulations that make you think, Well, I'm not getting on a plane,

John 3:33
you know, occurred occasionally. And, you know, before, of course, the subject that we're gonna be talking about to today, when I was on the other side of it, I the student or the pilot that was in there for recurrent training. You know, it was a little bit different perspective, but now I'm the one causing the problems instead of having to deal with them. So it's a little bit more entertaining from my point of view now.

Scott Benner 3:57
Excellent. So listen, every once in a while I'm getting like a thumping or something is your Are you wanting a laptop or a phone? Which,

Unknown Speaker 4:04
um,

John 4:05
let's see, you know, I'm, I'm going through my computer right now. So let me see if I can make sure there's not anything weird going on outside the door here.

Scott Benner 4:13
Also use your cell phone. If you if you have a cell phone with you move it away from the computer, that that definitely helps you.

Unknown Speaker 4:19
Yes, I

John 4:21
can absolutely do that. So I'll set that on the other side of the room and maybe that'll help.

Scott Benner 4:29
All right, my brother works shift work because he does something where they're running basically 24 hours a day to Okay, it just, you know, it's funny, he's he doesn't mind it once he's doing it but he says that the switching back and forth from different shifts is is really hard. You know, he's like, he's like once you're in it for a day or two. It's not such a big deal but he's like this the swap from like a day to a night or something like that. He finds difficult but

John 4:59
yeah, Definitely Well, yeah, it's one of those deals where I try and stay away from that really late one, because I'm a little bit more of a morning person, I guess. So, you know, given the opportunity, I let our schedulers know that I'd rather have the one because we do have it one that starts at 4am. And then goes until, like noon. Okay, so I actually prefer that one over there really late night one, because, you know, like, for example, you know, even when I have multiple night shifts, you know, I'm one of those people that, you know, I'll wake up at eight o'clock in the morning without an alarm clock, just because that's why I'm

Scott Benner 5:34
getting older and have your day when you're done. That's pretty cool. Yeah,

John 5:37
yeah. So,

Scott Benner 5:39
john, we don't really start in a real formal way or anything, just you know, introduce yourself Anyway, you want to be known. And we'll start talking and it'll find its path that you'll say.

John 5:49
Right, and john Ross was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes fairly late in life, age 36. So I'm just coming up on having it for three full years now. And very active person do a lot of outdoor activities and mountain bike racing, and so on. So basically, this diagnosis came as a pretty big shock to me. Also the ramifications on my chosen career. So I'm, Currently I work for an airline as a instructor. However, prior to that, I was a full time airline pilot, and I've had to make some pretty significant life changes as a result of the Type One Diabetes diagnosis. Wow. So

Scott Benner 6:37
you what, how long have you been flying your whole life or

John 6:40
on? Yes, so basically, I started flying. When I was 16. I just started off. Basically, in the summer, I had an interest in flying. Prior to that, you know, it's kind of into remote control airplanes and that type of stuff when I was when I was a kid. And over the summer, my dad kind of said, Well, you know, might as well give it a shot and try the real thing and see if there's anything to this and start flying small private airplanes when I was 16. And then actually had to wait until I was 17. To take my first I guess, level of pilot certification. And then I've been flying since then. And right after I got done with high school, I went to Ohio State University through their collegian flight program, and continued my training there and then kind of progressed after college. So yeah, so I've been in it in it for a little over 20 years.

Scott Benner 7:44
I really believe that has to be something you just love. Like, it just has to make sense to you when you look at it. Because there are, you know, there are people like me who if you said to me, hey, there's a possibility you could get in this mechanical thing and go up in the air and you'd be in control of it. I'd be like, I, there doesn't seem to be any good reason for me to do that. And that sounds exactly a horrible idea. And and yet, there are certain people, you know, I guess we're lucky there are who look at that and think I can do that. That's amazing. And, and to have that feeling when you're so young is is kind of special because I don't know, you just you know, at 16 How often do you find something you love at 16? You can still love when you're 40? You know like that,

Unknown Speaker 8:24
right? Yes,

Scott Benner 8:25
that's that's that's definitely special. When I think of an airline pilot, you were an airline pilot before your diabetes, you were flying like passenger jets and all kinds of things like that.

John 8:37
Yes, yes. Yeah, I currently work for a what's called a regional airline. So we fly for our aircraft are painted for the various air carriers that we work for. And we fly everything from 50 seat jets up to our largest one is 76 passengers. Okay. And we fly for basically all the major airlines now as far as United Delta, American and Alaska Airlines. So, yeah,

Scott Benner 9:09
so when you diagnose that 36 That's it. You know, listen, I think being diagnosed at any age is a real shock. But I think that living, I don't know how other people think about it, but I used to, I used to have this feeling like when I was younger, I thought, like, if I could just make it out of high school, like I made it out of high school, you know, and then you're like, in your 20s you're like, Okay, well, if I don't get hit by a car, right, like, maybe that's cool. And then in your 30s you start thinking, well, if I don't kick cancer, then you know, when you get to 40 you're like, I did it like I know that's an unreasonable feeling. But you're like I've been alive for a while and I'm nothing really terrible has happened. I've won some sort of a, you know, again, that's not really existing. Like, I know, that's ridiculous. But I used to think like that, like, I saw, I saw my life in stages, like if I get past this, this won't happen anymore. If I get past this, this won't happen anymore. Every time somebody I know gets divorced, I think Ooh, that that makes my odds better for not kidding. Because we all can't get the worst, and I have those unreasonable thoughts pretty constantly. So I'm at 36, you have to in your, like, you described yourself as healthy, outgoing, you know, active that that kind of thing? How does it hit you to be diagnosed with something so life altering at that age? And how much of that of your age do you think had to do with how you felt about it?

Unknown Speaker 10:22
Um, you know, I

John 10:23
definitely think that, you know, that, yeah, the age probably gave me a little bit more ability to, I guess, appreciate all the things I still had are still had going for me, you know, it was one of those things where, you know, because I, you know, enjoy an active lifestyle, and, and, you know, have a great wife and, you know, have, you know, like, things to be thankful for in my life, I could at least look at those and say, Well, I still have all of that, you know, and how is this diagnosis going to affect those things, and the big ticket items, if you want to think of it that way, you know, in life that, you know, Type One Diabetes hasn't, you know, I guess significantly, you know, adversely affected those things. You know, however, it just so happens that I'm in one of probably a very, very few selected, you know, professional careers that is directly affected by the disease, you know, so, it was like, okay, you know, I'm sitting there, and, you know, I kind of tell people a story, when I went in for my, or when I went in, when I was finally diagnosed, you know, I'm sitting there in a, you know, bed in the ICU, you know, looking at the FAA website, you know, at, you know, this particular factor of, you know, how it's going to power, how it would affect my medical certificate certification to fly. And it's like, right there, they boldface letters, you know, insulin dependent diabetes is a disqualifying event for all medical certification.

Scott Benner 12:00
So how long could you been flying professionally at that point?

John 12:05
So let's see, at that point, I had been flying 10 years with commercial airlines. So passenger service, and then before that, I flew two years as an air cargo pilot.

Scott Benner 12:17
So it's not only something you love, but it's the way you make your living. And oh, yeah, yeah. Just like that, like a snap of the fingers. You just couldn't fly a plane anymore.

John 12:26
Exactly. Yeah. So you know, 20 years of effort. And, you know, a sidebar to that, at this airline. I just received notification that, you know, the next week, I was I literally had my bags packed to go to upgrade class as a captain. So yeah,

Scott Benner 12:45
so again, all that work, and you're about ready to kind of take that final step that you've been working at your whole life, and then this happens. Correct. Any diabetes in your family? Was it shocking? or weird? When you look back now, do you think oh, wow, this guy's has it? My uncle has it? It's not that crazy.

John 13:03
Um, no, I, you know, I, of course, after, you know, all this happen, and you know, when you're in the hospital, of course, they ask, you know, that same question, and, you know, no one, well, no one that I know, for, that my parents know, of, and our family has type one, my mother or my grandmother on my mother's side, I should say, had type two. But other than that, there was very little prevalence of type one, there were a few other folks that did have some, you know, various, um, you know, coronary artery disease, there's a bit of that. And then there's also a few folks that did have some other you know, immune type diseases, but nothing, nothing of great significance. Yeah, gotcha, odd.

Scott Benner 13:59
Well, you know, sucks, it really does a B. I know it doesn't, it's sort of meaningless whether you had a background in it or not, but there's, you know, maybe you'd been living your whole life thinking Oh, it might happen to me or something to soften the blow a little bit, but, but But no, so So tell me something when that immediately happens. Does the company look for other ways to keep you employed? Or are you just are you scampering for a job or what what happened to you after? As far as your work goes?

Unknown Speaker 14:28
Right? So,

John 14:29
um, you know, at the time, I do feel fortunate, that's one of the reasons why I actually transitioned to the company that I currently work for is because you know, they have a really good reputation as as far as you know, supporting their employees which is unfortunately becoming more and more of a rarity. And, you know, basically the what happened there initially is that you know, we do you know, as I said before, I have a lot of things to be thankful for, you know, I had short term ability. So at that point, he's basically just have to call and, you know, like, you know, the immediate upline person, for me would be our chief pilot and let him know that I'm currently out on a medical leave. So they put you on a medical leave. And then after that, you know, when it became apparent that, you know, there was, in fact, you know, no way for me to return to flying currently. You know, they then said, Okay, well, you're on, you know, disability right now, you know, we'll, of course keep you on as a employee, until that runs its course, well, you have time to try and figure out this medical issue. And then, in that timeframe, you know, I then, you know, once I got out of the hospital and had, you know, at least a few weeks, I'm not the type of person who likes to sit around. So, you know, I had a few weeks to try and start understanding more about the disease, I then started to look at the company for other, I guess, positions that I could take. And that's kind of what led me to the, the training department because I of course, I knew a lot of people at the company, and they say, you know, we do have this position open, you should go and interview with these folks. And, and try and go through that process, because, you know, they felt like I would be a good instructor pilot based upon my experience.

Scott Benner 16:17
The Omni pod is a two part insulin management system. The first part, the pot, the pot is a small device that you fill with insulin and were directly on your body. It includes a small flexible candle, it inserts automatically with just the push of a button. And then the pod communicates wirelessly with the personal diabetes manager. And that's how you program your insulin, you tell it, hey, give me a unit, I'm eating 20 carbs, that kind of stuff. Now the second part of the system is the PDM is a personal diabetes manager that wirelessly manages your insulin delivery based on your settings. So try to imagine you have this tiny little thing that you where it has your insulin. And there's this thing you hold to it every once in a while, you have to pick up and tell it, Hey, I just ate something or turn up my basal rate or something like that. Now, in this moment, in June of 2018, the PDM is the same PDM, the company has been using for a while, but insulates a company that makes all the pot they just received clearance from the FDA to start marketing their new PDF, which is really cool. It's sleek and touchscreen, exactly what you expect in a cell phone age. So it's going to look like a little android phone almost, but do all the same things. incredibly cool. It's actually the first time in the history of on the positive the PDM matches the futuristic nature of the pump itself. It used to be sort of this thing, a little rubber buttons on it and stuff like that, like you imagine a medical device. But no more. Now we're living in the future, maybe I want you to go to my omnipod.com Ford slash juice box or click on the links in your show notes or Juicebox podcast.com. When you do that, you're going to be able to get a free, no obligation demo pod sent right to your house, you'll be able to wear it to see what I'm talking about. And then decide if it's something you want to move forward with. When it is you tell on the pod, hey, I want to get this and they'll help you the rest of the way. It's really very simple. Miami pod.com forward slash juicebox.

Do you find it satisfying? And I mean, I'm assuming you missed the flying but do do it at least find the new work satisfying?

John 18:53
I do. It's definitely something that, you know, I enjoy. Um, and you know, as we kind of touched upon before, you know, it's sort of one of those things where you get to this point in life and because I enjoy flying, you know so much that it would be hard for me to kind of imagine a, I guess a career track that would just completely not or, you know, go away from aviation. So this does still keep me into things. And, you know, the, even though the flight simulators that I instruct me are called level D simulators. So they're basically one notch below actually being in the airplane. So I definitely do find it satisfying and as I was gaining flight experience going up through the ranks, so to speak, when I was in college and so on. I was a flight instructor for a while before getting into commercial flying and you know, I do enjoy the construction side side of it, but it's, you know, one of those things where, you know, when I go up and do observation flights or you know, check flights or things like that, you know, I tell people You know, I don't look up and in the sky and see an airplane fly over that, you know, I wouldn't prefer to be there, you know? Yeah,

Scott Benner 20:06
I definitely think I understand that for sure. Okay. Um, so it's funny because in when the when the disability first kicks in, they use all the language they usually use when you're talking to people, like, you know why you get this figured out. You're like, figured out I'm not getting rid of diabetes. So there's, there's no figure, there's no figuring it out. But what what did so you're three years into 2000? We diagnosed about 2014.

John 20:32
Yeah, so this coming January will be three years. Okay. so

Scott Benner 20:36
and so. In that moment, when you're diagnosed, and you have insurance and all this stuff's going on? Do they start talking to you about insulin pumps? Do you look into insulin pumps? Do you not have an insulin pump? Like what what is the technology that you're using right now?

John 20:50
Right, so I'm, you know, listening to your show, and others, you know, I have, you know, it's kind of,

Unknown Speaker 20:56
I don't know,

John 20:57
I think it's probably a bad thing. But there is some comedy to be found out, basically, how similar people's experiences at the hospital, you know, although the hospital has the best of intentions, they literally, you know, get you stabilized in the ICU, and then kind of kick you out the door with a couple vials of, you know, lantis and, you know, novolog, and some syringes and say, all right, you know, we'll see you in a week with the CD. And, you know, hopefully you don't kill yourself with this stuff in the meantime. I mean, you know, that's, you know, being sort of facetious, but

Scott Benner 21:30
it's really it is, it's, it's a little bit of like, hey, this does this is this. Here's this mathematical formula, which we all know, if you have diabetes for a while, it's pretty useless. And then they're either like, right, good luck. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's

John 21:42
completely preposterous. You're like, Are you kidding me? Yeah.

Scott Benner 21:45
So no more explanation, right. I'm just leaving now.

John 21:49
Yeah, but oh, well, yeah. So as far as you know, when I did leave the hospital, um, you know, very, you know, little, I guess, explanation, or rather mentioned of additional product products or technology, or what have you, you know, it was literally like, you know, hey, you know, stop by Walgreens on your way home and get one of those blood glucose monitors things. I'm like, Okay. And, but as far as that goes, um, yeah. And that's kind of what led me to send you that initial email, you know, I'm still utilizing MDI, for my, for my control. And, and I'm still continuing to use that. So I use, you know, pens, currently use you know, lantis and analog. And then I actually use metal one R, for a lot of times for mealtime bolus. Okay.

Scott Benner 22:45
And you're happy with how things are going? Because you're a once he's pretty great, right?

John 22:49
Yeah. I mean, for the last, basically two years consistently, I think my highest day once he was 5.8. I'm currently at 5.1.

Scott Benner 22:59
So So how do you do that? This is, do you have a glucose monitor?

John 23:05
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, luckily, that was something that I was See, I believe it was my second visit with the endocrinologist where she had mentioned the dexcom on at that time, they were still on the g4 system. And she mentioned that to me, and, you know, being have kind of a technical background, and someone who, you know, is, you know, assesses data and likes to mitigate, I guess, as we call the industry mitigate threat. And I saw that, and I'm like, Yes, I want that right now. Yeah.

Scott Benner 23:40
It's interesting, because I think your mind must work a certain way to be a pilot, because you know, when a lot of people reach out to me on the podcast, usually what I'll tell them privately is, hey, look, it's just gonna be a conversation, it'll find its own way. You know, I'm not going to give you topics or anything, but you asked me two separate times while we were emailing, but what are we going to be talking about? I could tell I was like, oh, because he really is uncomfortable, not knowing what he's getting into before he gets into it. I'm sorry, I left you in that space. Knowing No, but but but at the same time, it makes sense that you have an A one see that is that low, because your your brain must just think about these numbers in the right way, like in a way that you can make sense of and make adjustments to but that's still very impressive. With shots are you do you have like crazy lows? Or are you pretty steady? Because I've been in a one to five one has got to be what an average, I'm guessing. But that's got to be an average blood sugar in the mid 80s.

Unknown Speaker 24:36
Maybe?

John 24:41
I think on average, I ride right around between 80 and 100. Because, you know, as I started do more, I guess research and learning more about you know, just the disease and not just the disease but what what is normal. You know, I'm kind of one of those people where Do you find out clinically, normal blood glucose is kind of defined between 77 to 99, you know, for fasting blood glucose. And so, you know, I looked at that and said, well, that's normal. And that's what is going to give you your best opportunity to, you know, again, avoid or mitigate the risk of having long term diabetic complications. So I'm not satisfied making 140 my goal, I want to make normal my goal because that gives you your best chance at long term health. And

Scott Benner 25:32
what would you say is the main focus of how you can accomplish that, if you restrict diet? Or do you just think you have a really good grasp of how the insulin works? Or is it a mixture? Well, I

John 25:42
think it's a combination of both and, you know, folks that I that I have talked to, and, you know, I have, you know, met with a few other folks that have, you know, type one and even type two, you know, it's a combination of, you know, understanding the insulin, just like, you know, you are very, very adamant about and understanding what it does for you, you know, because, as you said, a lot of those calculations that you get, initially from even a best intending, you know, endocrinologist or CDE, are, I guess, starting points, and you have to figure out, how does this affect me, and becoming comfortable with that, so that you can just like you say, you know, be aggressive with insulin, and, you know, correct when you need to answer and the other facet of that, that I've found that I'm a firm believer in is that, you know, making dietary changes that are going to, I guess, set you up for success, so to speak,

Scott Benner 26:44
either things you cut out, or were you always eating like the like this, are there things that you looked at one day, and we're just like this, I can't make this work. So it's gone, or?

John 26:55
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So prior to my diagnosis, you know, being a pretty active person, and, you know, a mountain bike racer, and, you know, someone who does a lot of activities, you know, I, I had, I were my wife, and I, you know, I've always eaten healthy because I also have a background in sports physiology and in nutrition. And so, at the time, you know, we were eating, you know, you know, fairly healthy and, you know, well balanced diet, and stayed away a lot away from a lot of processed foods, but, you know, we still a, you know, more sugary type stuff, particularly when we're exercising and, you know, because of the level of exercise, we could get away with a lot more because we were burning so many calories. But, um, you know, with the diagnosis, I then had to start looking at, okay, well, what causes a blood glucose, you know, Spike or insulin, you know, requirement. So you start looking at, you know, of course, sugar and carbohydrates. And so, the process of that was basically, you know, I started off with kind of removing all of those really simple sugars, and, you know, um, you know, trees, if you want to think of it that way, I was kind of notorious on, you know, around my friends for having, you know, updates, you know, hankering for muddy buddies, I don't know if you know what those are. They're like, their Chex Mix that are covered in like, you know, powdered sugar and chocolate, you know, those anymore. Now those have to go right out the window, those are gone immediately. So you

Scott Benner 28:32
find yourself thinking, hmm, money buddies.

John 28:35
I mean, it's more like I have that thought, but it's, it's more of a comedic sense, like, holy crap, I used to, you know, take down a bag of those things and not even think twice about it. Which, of course, would be preposterous now, you know? Yeah. I don't even know what that would do to me. Now.

Scott Benner 28:54
If you put insulin over your head, you'd probably be okay. Exactly. Yeah, I know. It's funny when you you think about like health and the way people look versus how they how healthy they actually are, I used as an example, sometimes when I was growing up, my parents had these friends and the husband of the of the of the other couple was just this very tall, in shape lean guy. And he died before any of them, you know, just because because he'd be like, he'd be like, one of those guys, like you'd order pizza, he's a whole pizza himself, he wouldn't gain a pound and somehow, you know, in 1979, that translated into He must be the lucky guy who's just healthy. You know, no one thought about a past that. So. Anyway, he's, he's long gone now, because he had a heart attack before he was 50 years old.

John 29:39
And what that I mean, that's a really interesting, you know, thing to the story rather to bring up because, you know, that sort of getting back to the dietary and health changes, you know, it's, as I started to, you know, I guess use some of the studying techniques and kind of looking back at, you know, things I learned in college, you know, That idea where, you know, and I kind of consult folks now with, you know, non die bikes as well, as far as, you know, attaining a healthy lifestyle, you know, mainly through nutrition. You know, there is that idea where I think, in today's society, and this has been kind of propagated, you know, from probably the 80s, and so on, and has been probably increased or made more of an issue with media that a lot of people equate, I guess, body weight or body composition with health, you know, they think, Oh, well, they're thin and fit, and yeah, they do all this stuff. But from a health standpoint, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're a healthy person, you know, like, they could just like that guy, you know, and I have some other examples of similar type stuff where they look very healthy, but you pull their blood work, and it's just, it's a train wreck.

Scott Benner 30:52
Yeah, it's, it's funny how, how you just sometimes doesn't correlate at all. And, you know, and you would, but it is our it is kind of the way we're built, like, our brains are built, like, you just look if you don't look. And it's such an odd thing, right, because, quote, unquote, if you don't look unhealthy, you must not be unhealthy, and vice versa. And so it is really interesting. I just thought that because I what you're describing eating that Chex Mix covered in chocolate, like I know, for my body, if I had even a reasonable amount of that I'd wake up the next day, three pounds heavier, like I just I wouldn't be able to avoid it. So it's just it's, it's just, you know, different people. But but so you just completely cut these things away. So did you always think of yourself as somebody with a good constitution for things like that? Or is that something you developed for diabetes? So I'm supposed to be telling you about the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. But all I can think about is the video I saw this morning of Quincy, the koala bear at the San Diego Zoo, wearing a Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor the videos really cool, you can see Quincy getting his blood sugar checked wearing the dexcom g six, getting insulin, it's really kind of captivating to watch, I hope you go back to the blog later and check it out. But that's not really what this time is, for this time, which now is less than when I started is to talk about the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. You hear us talking every day on this podcast about the great things that come from wearing a continuous glucose monitor, being able to see your blood sugar rise and fall to know how fast that's happening, to be able to make great decisions about Temp Basal rates and Pre-Bolus saying all the things that you hear me talking about here, that information that I get from the Dexcom allows all that to happen. If you're someone who needs to know what someone else's blood sugar is the Dexcom features a share and follow app. So one person as the share app, the person who has diabetes and one person as the follow up, the person who's following along, you can do this with an Apple or Android phone. It's really spectacular. It's how I learned to let go and allow my daughter to do all kinds of things in the world that I couldn't previously imagine her doing really is a life changing device. So between the really cute koala bear, and everything else, I really hope you go to dexcom.com Ford slash juice box to learn more about the dexcom continuous glucose monitor. I genuinely think you'll be happy that you did. Did you always think of yourself as somebody with a good constitution for things like that? Or is that something you developed for diabetes? Yeah, I

John 33:35
think I'm a I've always been one of those people that once I see, I guess really positive either information or, you know, undeniable, I guess science, if you want to think of it that way to show that it's a positive thing. And I kind of set my mind to it, I'm able to, I guess, either make those changes or to kind of follow that track, you know, and, and stick with it. And so, you know, I guess as that applied to diabetes, you know, once I start to figure out, well, here's what causes the most amount of, I guess, stress or frustration for particularly type one diabetics, well, if I can work on, and, you know, it's a process, it wasn't like, you know, one day, it's just all gone. But it was a, you know, process over probably a year to kind of get where I'm at now. dietarily. You know, I, I was able to say, Well, you know, those are the things that seem to cause the most amount of issues. So if I can remove those things, you know, that will give me again, you know, better control of the disease and therefore, you know, give me the best potential for long term health and that was my big goal to say, you know, all the research and, you know, folks that have to have diabetes for long periods of time type ones. You know, the I guess fear, I think that a lot of people have is, you know, not so much diabetes, but the long term consequence of uncontrolled diabetes. And, you know, just talking with physicians and folks that have been involved with it for long periods of time. And they know, a couple in particular said, you know, these are not,

Unknown Speaker 35:22
you know, a,

Unknown Speaker 35:25
you know, a

John 35:27
definitive thing that's going to happen, you know, it's, it's preventable, provided, you know, you can get good control of the disease, because I think a common phrase is that diabetes never killed anybody. It's usually the complications from poorly controlled diabetes that causes the problems.

Scott Benner 35:45
You think of, you know, DK, for example, is something that does happen to people and it's you just, it's something you can see in the moment, like you can, you can see, like cause and effect like, I did not take enough insulin, my insulin pump got knocked off, something happened, my blood sugar rose, I went to DK this happened. Like, I got out of it, I got better, I died, like, you know that, but you don't often think I had chex mix on Thursday in November in 2017. And in 2034, this happens to me, you don't think, you know, think about that way. And, but but you do, because it hit you that way. And you were able to, like make that decision, but you're probably at the right spot in your life, right? 36, you'd had a lot of that you'd had a lot of that check specs by now. Right? There's, because there's things now. I'm 46. And there are things now that I know, I'm like, oh, that would be good. But yeah, like he kind of like, you know, what's not worth it. Or I know, that'll make my stomach hurt or you know, blah, blah, whatever it ends up, you start feeling you just you're able to pass it by? Maybe that's just because you've had it so many times. It's or maybe Yeah, I've got the time, you know, you got the time into life, where you really understand things a little a little firmer, and no, it's not, it's not like, um, it's not like, You're, you're seven, and I've got to explain to you how you can't have this or, you know, it would be better if you didn't have this or whatever. Right. I know that the one time Arden stopped eating something, and it was her idea. And and it you know, I talked about it a couple times here, but she just she heard the doctor talking about a one C and we were discussing how to maybe get it to move and she just, we went out to the car and she's like, how what could I do to make my agency go down. And I remember telling her back then I was like, you could stop eating cereal for breakfast. I was like, that would make things so much easier for me to know the huge. Yeah. And it wasn't it's funny, because I couldn't figure it out. Now I can Bolus for a bowl of cereal like it's nothing. But back then back then I just could not figure it out. And so I just figured if you could just remove that from the the larger equation, maybe I could focus on some of this other stuff and figure out some of this other stuff. And it's right, but you really seem to have so So tell me a little bit about like, in the course of a day. Do you eat? Like how? How many carbs Do you think you take in the day? How in do or is it?

John 38:05
Sure? Yeah. Um, yeah. So you know, I'd say it definitely in the last year and a half, I became more focused on you know, transitioning my body over to becoming more Well, yeah, I guess, well, the term is fat adapted, so that it, it processes fat more efficiently, both, you know, as you know, body fat and then dietary fat. So, I would say in a given day, you know, depending on my activity level, and, you know, big day at work, where I'm doing double shifts, I'm just going to be, you know, at work for 14 hours, you know, I probably only take in about 30 grams of carbohydrates the entire day. And then other times when I'm out doing, you know, big mountain bike races arrived, so where I'm burning two or 3000 calories at a shot, you know, I might take in 80 grams of carbohydrates. Okay, so they're very low carb,

Scott Benner 39:05
what do you eat besides carbs? And like, what do you take in to keep you going?

John 39:09
Well, yeah, so um, you know, moderate protein, you know, probably, I mean, you know, from a sidebar on that, you know, approximately one gram of protein per kilogram. So, you know, 170 pounds, so, probably about 70 grams of protein and the rest of it is, you know, healthy, excuse me, dietary fats. So, you know, because fat has very little necessity for you know, coverage by by insulin. Regardless of whether or not you're a diabetic or not. It just requires very little insulin to process, provided your body has become adapted to being able to tantalize it, you know, efficiently, particularly for activities, you know, if you're not, you know, overly active of person,

Unknown Speaker 40:00
it's

John 40:01
not quite as challenging, but, you know, if you're highly active, you kind of have to work up to that, or, you know, kind of retrain your body to be efficient with that.

Scott Benner 40:10
But as you were, you would experience a bunch of lows. And sure, yeah,

John 40:15
yeah. So, you know, like, with the inbox with a desk, calm, you know, on their, on their dashboard, you know, it shows your time within range, you know, and, you know, I only have, you know, like a 1.2% of the time that I've gone low out of range, you know, in my, my ranges between, you know, I modify it, you know, put the low alert, you know, and of course, that's another big, you know, huge advantage of having our rather, understanding the technology is to say, well, when I'm out exercising, I put my low alert at 85. Whereas when I'm just, you know, doing normal daily things, I set it at, you know, 75 or 70. So that way, when I'm exercising, it gives me that alert, earlier, so I can just correct it, and it's, you know, done with and then same thing with the high range, you know, like, I have my high range on the desk, comm set to, you know, 135. And so I correct immediately if it even starts creeping up on that, on that level.

Scott Benner 41:14
Yeah, we, we correct at 130? Yeah, any kind of diagonal up or, or up arrows, I just assume I've messed something up and, you know, more or more insulin. So you're not afraid to inject though. So you're an adult who has made that decision, like, if you make a bolus for a meal, and then you know, 45 minutes out of your 130, diagonal up, you're not, you'll just pull your pen out again, and give yourself more?

John 41:38
Oh, yeah, yeah. And, you know, again, the education level, you know, and I guess, you know, from doing, you know, podcasts, you know, again, just a huge fan of, on my own accord, and I really admire what you're doing with the community is just to encourage folks to, you know, educate themselves, because, you know, it's a kind of a cliche phrase, but, you know, knowledge is power. So, and it removes a lot of that fear. So, just like you said, If I, you know, maybe went over to, you know, a friend's house or, you know, ate out and there was something in there that I didn't know about, and you know, Hi Bolus, what I thought was correct. And then now it's like you said, Diane Valero up and it's at 121 25 and rising. Yeah, I don't hesitate to say, you know what, here, here's another half unit of homologue. And let's see a knock that down, because I know exactly what that insulin is going to do, or at least relatively close, as best as you can with absorption and all that stuff. But I know that that's not going to harm me, you know, like by taking a half an extra half unit, even if it's an intramuscular injection to really cut it down. I know that that's not going to put me at a dangerous low. Because, you know, I know how my body responds to that. And I know, be uncomfortable with my insulin dosing. And that's very powerful, you know, and that gives you a lot of control over the disease. You just

Scott Benner 43:04
said something I'm not sure everybody would understand. But so if you put the insulin in the way you're supposed to just in, you know, the fat layer, it absorbs in one wire, but you can press a little harder go into a muscle with it, and you get more quicker or more harsh reaction from the insolent. Gabe, describe that a little bit.

Unknown Speaker 43:21
Yes.

John 43:22
So yeah, as you said, usually, either through an insulin pump or normal insulin injection, you kind of do it subcutaneously. So you're injecting the insulin into that little layer, you know, again, body specific, but that layer of fat between the surface of the skin and the muscle, whereas if you inject it's called Im or intramuscular, you're actually injecting the insulin into a muscle, which has a much higher blood flow to it, so that you're removing some of the media that the insulin has to go through. So you're putting it nearly directly into the bloodstream so that it acts more quickly. And you have, you know, a more, I guess, deliberate response. So it you know, instead of maybe taking, you know, for like, myself, you know, homologue like instead of taking 15 minutes to start working like by doing I am literally within five or 10 minutes, I start seeing a change in that in that era on the Dexcom

Scott Benner 44:21
interesting yeah, it's a little things I don't think we think about too much so. So jumping in though, in the last kind of 20 minutes we have here what I want to talk to you about is is your flying so you know this is taken from you, obviously, not something you want as you look back now, because you still run your fly the same has you have you ever flown a simulation and had something happen because you're diabetes and thought, Oh, well, I guess it's good. I don't have a license to fly planes anymore. Or have you thought I think I could do this with type one. No, I've

John 44:54
never had an instance at work. You know, even you know, I teach classroom stuff anyway. Do I'm in the simulator, I do all the emergency scenarios, and I can honestly say that I've never had an instance where I thought, you know, I would be either unsafe or incapable of performing the, you know, those duties. So, um, and that's kind of been the big direction I currently holding in the airline, or rather, those who, of course, are familiar with how pilot certifications work as a private pilot, so if you're just going to go up and fly around on your own, you have your own airplane, or you rent one, you know, small airplanes. That's, that requires what's called a third class medical, and I actually had been able to regain that little level certification, so I can still fly private airplanes. But the airline world requires a first class medical, and that's where the disqualifying event is for insulin dependent diabetes. And, you know, it's one of those things, when you look at the regulations, those regulations, were kind of put on the books back in 1967. And, you know, at that time, of course, it was a, you know, profoundly different landscape for diabetes, you know, it was, it was nowhere near the same and it just hasn't really been looked at, or advocated for, until recently. And, you know, I firmly believe that if you know, a person, it hat is well controlled, and understands the disease, you know, whether through insulin pump and CGM use Anatolian or MDI, um, you know, that you can safely perform those duties and, you know, operate safely. Now, with that, you know, you know, again, this isn't meant to be, I guess, offensive, but I also believe that if it's someone who maybe doesn't have as much understanding, or is kind of still figuring out the control of the disease, I don't believe they should be in the flight deck, because you know, someone who potentially has, or is not understanding maybe why they went up to 350, and then had to take a large amount of insulin, and then, you know, an hour later, they're at 50, and are taking those huge blood glucose swings. I don't think that that would be safe in the flight deck. And the FAA actually has defined parameters for private pilot's that say, you have to keep your blood sugar within 100 and 300. While you're flying. And those same recommendations that were actually derived from work with the ADA, American Diabetes Association, and a board of endocrinologist with the FAA, along with some other recommendations, you know, have been determined as safe levels. And what we're trying to do now is advocate so that they can then apply those parameters to first and second class medicals. So that would that allow me to start flying again.

Scott Benner 48:03
So you think it's, there's a reasonable way to, to find the difference between a person who can keep their blood sugar and that stable range that range and who can't? Like, how do you make that decision? Who's Who? back?

John 48:17
Well? Yeah, that's a good question. Um, and that's sort of part of the debate. And actually, this particular subject matter has gone all the way up to the US District Court of Appeals. And then it's actually very close to going to the US Supreme Court and ruling on what the FAA should be using as a determining factor. And, you know, that's where the CGM comes in. Because when I first started this advocacy, with the FAA, the Federal Aviation Administration had no idea or I wouldn't say they had no idea, but they were unaware of the usefulness or the not really ability, but the what CGM could provide. And so you know, they're trying to decide, you know, while you're flying, you know, you need to be able to show that you're in this range, and they want to see CGM reports and, you know, utilizing the, you know, a one c value and a official report from your treating endocrinologist to, you know, state that you're, you know, you have good understanding, you're able to monitor your blood glucose, you know, how to use a blue blood glucose meter. And then, you know, part of the parameters for pi private pilot, is that prior to take off, you have to do you know, you have to be able to show a blood glucose reading, you know, above 100. And then you're required every hour to take a finger stick and show that you're within range. And then you have to bend show that records during that flight time to show that you were in compliance while you're flying. Okay. So

Scott Benner 49:59
I mean, it's no joke. There's, it's one of those things you completely understand both sides of the argument like you, I have no doubt you could fly an airplane and you're fine. And at the same time, if I'm flying on the airplane, I don't want to be the guy sitting in row seven, the one time you your blood sugar plummets out of nowhere, and it cut and it sneaks up on you. Right? And so, right, but then I get as I sit here, I think I could also you could have a heart attack while you're flying a plane. I mean, you could there's a lot of things that could happen. Aren't there co pilots? Like, yeah, absolutely. So So what's the point? Listen, john, let me ask another question. I met a guy, maybe a dozen years ago now. And he was flying, like the big heavy, you know, planes for major airlines to be moving, moving hundreds of people across the country. And he said that the secret is, he could push a button, that plane would take off, and it would land on its own, and he could sit there and sleep through the whole thing if he wanted to. Is that? Is that true?

John 50:57
Um, it's, I guess it's a slight over, we don't quite have the easy button yet. But, you know, um, you know, there are there are a lot of, you know, the the modern airplanes that we fly are very capable, you know, you do have first officers, but you know, it is something that and we train for that all the time, you know, incapacitation, you know, of the other pilot, and, you know, on a sidebar, you know, there's been more instances of flight deck crews having coronary artery events, then, you know, issues with diabetes, because, honestly, On another note, the International Civil avionics Association, or maybe Aviation Administration, I co M, which is all the other countries, including, you know, Air Canada, and European and also Australia. They all allow insulin dependent diabetics in the flight deck, and all those countries. So everyone except the United States, is not one of those countries has had one single report of incapacitation or inability to perform their duties, because of a diabetic event.

Scott Benner 52:09
Yeah, imagine, imagine, if you made every pilot check their, their heart every once an hour to make sure it was functioning, like you're probably safer than than anybody because you're paying such close attend, which is the point we make about people with diabetes all the time, is that they're gonna be healthier than most people, because they're so aware of their health, and right, and to say that there's never been an incident, like, that's what I was, that's what I was trying to get out, which is, what's the difference between your blood sugar and any number of other things that happen to other people? Like, if there's a process in place to put things to fix it? If that happens, then why is your blood sugar different than a heart attack? As far as the you know, the emergency, you know, steps that you have to take? It doesn't doesn't seem like it makes any difference? So let's see, it almost feels arbitrary.

John 52:58
Well, yeah, and that's sort of the, the point, you know, is, you know, the, the way in commercial aviation, you know, there are what they call special issuance medicals, where, you know, if you're not 100%, you know, in the normal range, so to speak, you know, there are certain conditions, some of which are cardiac conditions, and some of them are, you know, even just medications where you have to get what's called a special issuance of medical certificate where you have to show additional compliance to maintain that medical certificate, which is if we can move this forward, for insulin dependent diabetics, that's what I would have to get a special issuance, meaning I would have to provide more documentation and have more frequent checks for compliance than someone who doesn't have this special. And, you know, so And with that, you know, it's just a matter of saying, okay, you know, you have this condition, but as long as it's treatable, and it's safe, you know, that shouldn't preclude or prevent you from this particular, you know, this particular career track, you know, and, you know, as a whole, you know, as a increase to overall aviation safety, you know, the more and more frequent or more prevalence of type two diabetes, you know, when you look at it from a pure statistical standpoint, just the amount of active current airline pilots in the country, you know, well over 100,000 or 200,000 total pilots in our country, from a pure statistical standpoint, the, you know, the ability of even type two diabetes and then them becoming insulin dependent, potentially down the road. You know, you could decimate the pot population, if you just say Terreblanche, you know, you're you're done no more medicals for you and, you know, that creates a whole nother issue.

Scott Benner 54:58
I mean, I assume hearing what you're saying like, you feel like you could do this. And it's not a problem, but I feel like you're willing to if they put other parameters in place, you're willing to follow them. But and I and I hear that, but do you really think they're necessary? Or is this just something you're willing to do to, to get back up in the seat?

John 55:17
You mean, no establishing, you know, parameters and so on, you'll feel that's necessary, the

Scott Benner 55:21
extra testing and the verifications and stuff like Do you really think that's necessary? Or? I mean, is it one of the situations where maybe it's not necessary for a person like you, but it might be necessary if we're going to, generally speaking, if we're going to cover all the population of pilots? Sure,

John 55:37
I think definitely a, an increased amount of I guess, testing or providing things like either CGM data or those blood glucose, you know, finger sticks while you're flying. I think that's reasonable, because it has to be something that the controlling body, you know, can can take to the public and say, here's what we do to make sure that these people are safe. So I have no problem with that, you know, the frustration now lies with the fact that they have these parameters that have been recommended, you know, by a professional or a medical professionals. And right now, there hasn't been any movement on it, simply because they just don't feel like it's, you know, you know, really all that important, but at the same time, yeah. You know, yeah, you know, and at the same time, you know, you're looking at, you know, um, you know, I guess some folks would say, Well, you know, it's it's a form of discrimination. But I don't know, if I go quite that far to say it, it's just a, I guess, lack of need of, of, of action on on their part. So

Scott Benner 56:51
there's not enough people you don't have you're not up to the squeaky turbine getting the grease yet. So you need you need. And so is that something? Is that some so how much it was? we're winding up a little bit, but how much? How involved? Are you in this? And, and and what is it you're trying to accomplish? And at what point I know, I heard you say it's at one level in the courts, and they could go for hire me, do you think it's something that's going to work out in your professional lifetime? Or do you think it's a fight that's going to be fought for a long time?

John 57:21
Well, it's, it's, it's been, I guess, in the background, has, has been worked on for quite some time, you know, the American Diabetes Association, has been heavily involved in and it's, you know, speaking with the various flight surgeons and so on, I definitely think that it's it's going to, it's going to change, it's just the, you know, the trajectory or what what the time frame is, you know, luckily, my current position, you know, being, you know, with the airline that I'm at, gives me the ability to hopefully wait it out. And, you know, hopefully be there when, you know, when it changes, so I am very optimistic about that. And so I think it will change, it's just, you know, with any large organization, you know, and compounded by the fact of being a government organization changes slow.

Scott Benner 58:21
Well, you know, what occurs to me as you're talking is that the understanding that the FDA had of CGM, for example, was not good, until the people at Dexcom really stepped up their efforts to explain it to them. After maybe what your, you know, maybe what your cause needs is a little bit of maybe help from from an entity like that, who already knows how to petition the government about things like that? Like, maybe, maybe that's a bad idea to contact us calm and tell them what you're doing and say, you know, do you have the ability to help me explain to the FAA, the things that we're trying to explain? Can you back it up with that? You know, like, Is there something you could do? Because it really does. Yeah, there are, I think there are a couple of other, like you said in the beginning, there are very few, but there are a couple of other professions, but they don't allow people to type one with insulin dependent diabetes to to perform. And although I can't think of all of them off top my head, yeah. You know, at some point, you know, the next year or two, you're using MDI now, but you could easily switch over to a, an artificial pancreas probably in 2018, that might do a really fantastic job. You don't. So the things are going to change is my point. Right? I don't know, maybe, maybe that's something to consider is to try to loop somebody in who really knows the knows the landscape in DC, you know?

John 59:48
Yeah, you know, and it's, it's one of those things where, you know, more, more knowledge and more, you know, I guess, education or you know, folks that are aware of The real I guess the real capabilities of some of the technology and so on there would definitely be beneficial. So, yeah, I mean, the, the organization I'm currently working with is airline pilots Association, which is the largest union in the country for airline pilots. And, and it's something that they've been advocating for, you know, very heavily. And, you know, just for that reason that, you know, they just want the ability to, you know, so that this doesn't automatically become, you know, a career ending event, you know, as long as someone's willing to work at it, you know, and then you extrapolate that even down towards, again, some of the jdrf, and, you know, quote, people I've met with on that regard, you know, kids and so on, you know, I mean, you take a kid that has this dream of being a pilot, and they, they, they want to do it, and it just, it's a terrible thing to sit there and like say, Well, yeah, sorry, kid. Yeah, you gotta type one. So, you know, forget that psychological,

Scott Benner 1:01:00
the psychological implications are bigger than what we're talking about today. But it's, you know, get this incurable disease. And at the same time, it's possible your lifelong dream is, you know, is thrown right in the garbage along with all the other feelings that you're having at the moment. And that's, yeah, you need some, you need something to look forward to, while you're figuring out diabetes and your health and how to manage day to day and stay, you know, stay safe and stay healthy. Like you can't, you can't look up and have no blight. You know it like you said it, yes, it's not a lot of people that it's affecting, but it's more than you think. And if type twos start using more and more insulin, it's going to be more and more people. So now I'm with I think it's a I think it's a great cause. So, you know, I want to wish you a lot of luck, you know, making headway with it, I hope you keep in touch, I'd like to know, I'd like to know where where it leads and what you're able to figure out. But, you know, I know. I was gonna ask you when we're done, but I'm just gonna ask you while we're talking so I so i'm a i'm in Philadelphia, right around, I'm outside of Philadelphia, New Jersey, and I grew up in Philly my whole life, we're baseball fans and everything. And you and I recorded this about a week after boy holidays plane crashed in. And, and I was it's just such a, how, my question is, is How frequently do personal planes go down that we don't know about? Or is it not as frequent,

John 1:02:27
um, it's, you know, a private aircraft, there's quite a few more accidents that you just don't hear about, because it's sort of like a, a car accident. You know, I mean, tons of car accident, there's actually more deaths from car accidents and airplanes, obviously. But, um, you know, you, you know, I drove to work the other day and went by three car accidents when I never made it into the news, because it's, it's a car accident. So, with airplanes, you know, usually the ones you hear about are the ones that end up going into, you know, a neighborhood or, you know, having some other world, you know, involves a celebrity. So, you know, they do crash somewhat frequently, but not nothing, you know, approaching me on car accidents, you know, what, when I was flying air cargo, you know, it was basically just me or me and one other person and, you know, an old airplane with, you know, a bunch of car parts or industrial equipment in the back. And, you know, during those two years, you know, I lost six friends that died in, in accidents because of equipment failure, and, you know, crashed, and those never made it into the news, you know, because it's just one airplane and one guy and crashed out in the mountains someplace in the middle of the night.

Scott Benner 1:03:45
Yes, it is. It's just a it's an aspect of society. We don't think we all understand really, you know, like that the idea that like, you know, six people, you know, in two years crashing planes, and people were just like, oh, okay, because at the same time, if they were driving a truck across country and fell asleep and drove the truck, Alfa cliff, it would be the same really reaction, which is, that's a shame. And sure, you know, it's a personal tragedy. But, you know, in the grand scheme of things, we do expect some people to pass away from our accidents and plane crashes and everything it is really, I don't know, it's interesting. It's a whole part of the world. I don't I don't know that much about other than to say, I've always felt safe during air travel. I've never, you know, like, because it does make sense. Like if you know, if passenger planes were dropping out of the sky, somebody would tell me about it. And so I pray. Yeah, I very infrequently hear about anything like that. I never once I've never once gotten on a plane and thought, like, I hope this goes well. I've never had that.

John 1:04:43
I guess I'm doing my job, right?

Scott Benner 1:04:46
Yeah, well, I appreciate it. I do. I want to thank you for coming on. We had an hour but uh, but thanks so much for sharing, like, you know your story and this whole concept of, you know, what goes on when if you're a pilot or hoping to be a pilot and you get tired One, I hope it raises some awareness for you. And like I said, please keep in touch, let me know how it's going.

John 1:05:06
Yeah, absolutely, I really appreciate you having me on and, you know, getting the chance to talk with you. And I guess just, you know, last parting words, you know, I just want to encourage everyone out there that is dealing with type one or even, you know, type two, just, as you say all the time, you know, knowledge is power, and just, you know, take that initiative to go out there, and educate yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you, you really just have to go out there and get as much knowledge as you can. And that's going to give you the best long term result, either for yourself, or if it's, you know, parents dealing with, you know, kids with diabetes, and so on. Just get that knowledge and apply it. And, you know, I think that's going to be the best thing you can can do and relieve some of that fear and frustration.

Scott Benner 1:05:54
The worst thing that happened to you is you sit back hoping someone's going to tell you, and it's right, and it never happened. So you really do have to be proactive. You know, when something like this happens to your health, you can't just go well, this is what the guy said. So it's what I did, and it didn't work out. But what am I gonna do, he told me and right, you know, and then let it go. You have to go get it. Oh, john, thanks so much. I appreciate you coming on. Absolutely. Have a great day. Okay, thanks. Thank you, john, for coming on and sharing your experience. Thank you. I'm the pod index comm for sponsoring the show, please go to my on the pod.com Ford slash juice box, or dexcom.com forward slash juicebox. To find out more about those great products. You can also find links in your show notes at Juicebox podcast.com. Don't forget to go see the video of Quincy on my blog at ardens de.com I think there's like it's right on the front page. Just scroll down look for the koala bear. And if you don't if this is like two years later, and you still want to say it, you know, go to the blog and then hit the search bar and type koala because I can't imagine there's going to be more than one post about a koala bear on my diabetes blog. Thank you guys so much for the ratings and reviews on iTunes. We're almost up to 100 ratings and almost up to 100 user reviews for the podcast which is really fantastic. Thank you very much. Don't forget this is the last thing don't forget if you're enjoying the show, please share it with somebody else. You are the best chance I have of reaching a new audience member


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#171 We Should Finish the Sentence

Scott Benner

No not Platypus, platitudes...

Vickie and Scott discuss everything you can think of and two things that you can't about type 1 diabetes. No more platitudes... finish the sentence. 

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Alexagoogle play/android - iheart radio -  or their favorite podcast app.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT


DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello, and welcome to Episode 171 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's episode is with Vicki. Vicki is going to share a whole bunch of different stuff with us. Her job has something to do with type one, which is very interesting. She's tried the keto diet, she's working on her health, she's working on our weight. There's all kinds of stuff going on here. There's a little something in this one for everybody. I want to thank our sponsors Dexcom, and Omni pod Dexcom, of course makers of the G six continuous glucose monitor. And on the pod, the tubeless insulin pump that Arden has been using since she was four years old. We'll talk more about those later. But for now, let's jump right in with Vicki and find out what's going on.

It's incredibly important to remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before being bold with anything. But especially in salt.

Vickie McWatters 1:24
I Scott and my name is Vicki and I am a type one diabetic.

Unknown Speaker 1:28
Vicki, how are you?

Unknown Speaker 1:29
I'm great.

Scott Benner 1:31
I'm glad you're on. Yeah.

So you're an adult with type one. How old were you when you were diagnosed?

Vickie McWatters 1:36
I was just shy of my 31st birthday.

Scott Benner 1:40
And you are how old now?

Vickie McWatters 1:42
I am 49.

Unknown Speaker 1:44
Congratulations. That's right.

Unknown Speaker 1:45
Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:47
I'm 46. And Everyday I wake up I think I can't make it much longer Kennedy.

Vickie McWatters 1:55
I can't believe I'm 49. Like when did that

Scott Benner 1:59
feel weird no matter what it always feels like you're like, how is this May we had these beautiful white flowers all over the front of our house this year. Right? just planted them everywhere. when they were little they got up and they were big and bushy and really beautiful. Wasn't expensive, it made the house look great. The one problem was is that they they're only one season flowers and they need that's at the end of the year, the first fraud hit frosted, and they will fit a little bit. And I was like, I'm going to go get the wheelbarrow. I'm going to pull out all of these flowers from the ground. I have a place in the back, I will dump them. And this is what I will do. And then the next day, I thought Why does my hamstring hurt so much? All I did was bend over in a slightly odd position and pick up flowers. That's not a thing that makes people upset is it but it is apparently at a certain age. So yeah, I know how you feel. So so when I heard from you, you sent me an email. Of course, she said a lot of wonderful things about the podcast because how could you not? And but you said you were listening. I was wondering how did you find it?

Vickie McWatters 3:06
Um, it's kind of been a journey for me. So I kind of around June, July timeframe, I started this health journey. And I didn't start out listening to diabetes podcasts. I started listening to other ones. And I was so inspired by them. I thought, well, I'm gonna find something about type one. And there weren't a lot out there. And I stumbled onto yours. And I wasn't really sure I wanted to listen to it because I didn't feel like it really applied to me being a an adult. I felt like maybe it wasn't like a caregiver type podcast. Okay, but I took that I took a listen, I took a chance. And it's just, it's been tremendous help for me. I'm very

Unknown Speaker 3:49
glad about

Scott Benner 3:51
something drove you to worry about your health, the person living with diabetes for Well, let me check my math 3141 887 about like 1718 years. Right? Right. Right. Very good with the whole numbers, and then the smaller one digit numbers also. And so and so what hit it was just age like, did you start thinking I better do something or like what, what brought you to like, I want to do better with my house. Do you remember? Yeah,

Vickie McWatters 4:19
well, you know, it's not like the whole 1718 years, I haven't taken care of myself, I have gone through periods where I'm like, Okay, I'm going to get money one fee down. I'm going to do a much better job of this. And it just I I couldn't seem to make it work. And I had a lot of things happen in my life where they were kind of a life changing event. And I got a job working for jdrf and I thought you know what, if I'm going to start reaching this, I got to start, you know, walking the walk and taking better care of myself.

Scott Benner 5:04
I see. So you sort of said, was it more of like, Did you feel a responsibility to other people at that point? Do

Unknown Speaker 5:08
you think

Vickie McWatters 5:11
I felt the responsibility to be genuine and honest, I didn't feel like I could go into schools and help kids with their 504 plans, not doing what I'm preaching.

Scott Benner 5:23
See, you didn't want to be the person standing up to the top with the the 9.581 say, Go now listen to here's what you have to do. Because it felt just disingenuous, and it just wasn't something that just didn't feel any of that makes a lot of sense. So it occurred to you because in this day and age as it would it occurred to you to find a podcast about about health. So was it more about just like, right away? Was it like exercise diet? Like? Was that the way you thought about it at first?

Vickie McWatters 5:51
So at first, it was about how am I going to make this work for me, I had been on Weight Watchers, I had been, you know, with worked with personal trainers. And it always been about losing weight, as well as being able to maintain my, my glucose, my blood glucose, and it just never seem to click and just never seem to work. So I'd always eaten low carb in the past. And it seemed to have the best effect on being able to control my my blood glucose. And I thought, well, I'm going to try that again. And I got turned on to a ketogenic diet. And I started learning a lot about it, especially as a type one, I was a little bit nervous. And I got a book that was for type one diabetics and the ketogenic diet, and I was able to eliminate the majority of the carbs that I eat, which made it so much easier to maintain that glucose control.

Scott Benner 7:00
Okay, so you're stuck. You were struck when you were eating carbs, you were struggling to stop spikes and lows and all that stuff. And so, after a long time of frustration, you just were like, I'm just gonna stop eating carbs, because I can't get ahead of it any other way? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Did you find it fun not eating carbs.

Vickie McWatters 7:19
I'm definitely challenging. But it got easier. And the numbers on my deck comm made it so worth it. Okay, I was just like, Oh my gosh, I've got this now. This makes sense to me now.

Scott Benner 7:33
And so what do you think that was like, when you take a guy if my guess is but when you take away a bunch of the carbs and you're down to a few it's not too hard to manipulate? What those carbs are doing is it's you know, carbs that are with vegetables. I'm assuming carbs that maybe a little bit of bread not a whole lot like that kind of stuff. For what what are the diet looked like back then?

Vickie McWatters 7:54
Yeah, it was most you mean before. Now we

Scott Benner 7:58
know when you switch to the keto diet, I know nothing about like, what what does that look like?

Vickie McWatters 8:03
And less than 20 grams of carbohydrates a day with those carbs coming from leafy greens, avocados, and maybe some that, okay, so absolutely no bread, no sugar, no grains, completely eliminated that from my diet. And when I started this, I, I, I went with the attitude of, this is what I'm going to do today. I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow, but this is what I'm going to do today. And I'm just gonna see what happens. I

Scott Benner 8:34
did it and it was vector over me Oh, it affect your overall health. Like, aside for diabetes was your I mean, if you're like, did your weight, do what it wants, what you wanted to did your energy, that kind of stuff.

Vickie McWatters 8:47
Right energy for sure. Um, not so much my weight. And so I I just really started on like this journey. And I've found some other things that have maybe played into why I wasn't losing weight, why my blood sugar's were spiking when I was eating grains, you know, so it's been it's been really eye opening for me to have the opportunity to have a clean slate, which is what keto gave me and then now just kind of reintroducing some things into my diet. Knowing that I found out that I am gluten sensitive. So I don't have celiac, but I am gluten sensitive. These are all things that I would always just blame on diabetes. And now that I was able to kind of have that clean slate I am really seeing what's going on in my body and it's it's definitely not a one size fits all i got it

Scott Benner 9:46
okay and so so you wouldn't be you basically broke it down to zero and start over again then and and you've been adding things so are you on a strict keto diet now or would you not consider it that anymore?

Vickie McWatters 9:57
I am still on a strict keto diet. Okay. I And I love it. I feel better, I am starting to lose some weight. I found out that I also have some kind of degeneration where I don't absorb the V B vitamins. So by taking a supplement that helps me absorb those. I think that's part of the thing that's helping me start to lose weight and help me have more energy.

Scott Benner 10:27
I see, do you have a thyroid? Do you have any thyroid issues?

Vickie McWatters 10:29
I do, I just found out that I have mushy motives thyroiditis. So again, I had had, I had had hypothyroidism and I had been on medications for a while. But it wasn't until recently that I found out that I actually have been diagnosed with ashy meadows and hashimotos is an autoimmune disease, which means that your body is attacking the thyroid. So that was a little bit of an eye opener. For me, that was a wake up call, because now I have two auto immune diseases. And if I had to pick two, I don't know that these would be the two that I would choose. However, there's a lot worse ones out there. And I want to make sure I don't get those.

Scott Benner 11:13
So your body got tired of beating up your pancreas. And it was like, what else can we do? Yeah, I was doing nothing. And and so what's the difference between being told you're hypothyroid and your hashimotos? Which The difference was? And

Vickie McWatters 11:25
so from a traditional medicine perspective, I don't think much because I don't think they treated any different. They would just give you a centroid, you know, but from a, what can I do to make sure that this doesn't continue? Or maybe he'll it, there are some foods that I can avoid? There are some things that I can do personally, that may help prevent any future autoimmune diseases.

Scott Benner 11:54
And so what foods are those? And how did you learn about that?

Vickie McWatters 11:59
And for me, it was a sensitivity test. And it is definitely grains. I cannot eat grains. And it's interesting, because a few months ago, before I found this out, I went to my endocrinologist who was wonderful, I absolutely love her and said, Do you think I can have celiac disease? Because this just doesn't work for me What? What's down on paper and how it should work and making sure that you count your carbs. And it just it doesn't seem to work for me? And she said, No, no, you don't have celiac. So it would be different symptoms. And so I took her for her word, you know, why wouldn't I? And then, you know, come to find out doing this sensitivity testing. And I do have sensitivity doesn't mean absolutely x. But it does mean that it affects me differently than maybe somebody else.

Scott Benner 12:49
When you have a green, what does it do?

Vickie McWatters 12:52
I personally think that it last in my body? I don't know this for a fact, this is just kind of my theory. Yeah, I think that two brains don't, aren't absorbed in my body as quickly as they may be in somebody else. So it could be in because I'm doing the influence on the outside. And I'm not hitting the mark every time.

Scott Benner 13:19
Because it's staying in your system longer or then so the insulin is gone. But the grain staying behind it's still breaking thing, still giving up your blood sugar. And okay, so let me think. What was what's the outcome of that? Is it just blood sugars? Or do you have other physical kind of side effects from it? It when you're having the game?

Vickie McWatters 13:42
Yeah. So I was always so tired. I was always so lethargic. And again, I would blame it on the type one, I would completely blame it on type one diabetes. It wasn't until I eliminated everything and saw that my blood sugars were in good control. And that I'm like, okay, something else is going on here. So, I do think that the greens had some something to do with that. I'm also sensitive to dairy. So that's something that I haven't completely eliminated. But when I do eat it, I can I feel a little more swollen, like inflammation in my body. So I think that, you know, it's, and this is, again, Scott, this has been a complete journey for me, I, I made a conscious decision to kind of figure out what the heck was going on and take care of myself and I'm still learning.

Scott Benner 14:41
Do you ever feel sick to your stomach or like any of that kind of thing, or is it not like that?

Vickie McWatters 14:46
Pretty rarely. I don't really get sick to my stomach too much. Gotcha.

Scott Benner 14:50
All right. So now you've described a lifestyle that has almost no correlation to the Hey, just eat Bolus attitude of my podcast. So how? What about the podcast hit you them? Because I could easily see you listening to this and being like, this isn't what I do. But something about this is helping you. So what? What was that? Because I'm incredibly interested at this point, like, yeah, you see what I'm saying, right? Like, there's no, there's no reason to come in being like, I'm keto. And I'm doing this. And I'm doing that. And this guy's talking about, you know, if we Bolus here you can eat corn pops. So like, how has it been valuable for you?

Vickie McWatters 15:33
I think a couple things. The first one in in my profession, and what I do, and it has been incredibly valuable for me in how I guide families along especially newly diagnosed families, because I do not expect for a teenager or a small child to start eating keto by by any means. And I don't even know that I'm going to for the rest of my life, you know, but I do think that I tried to tell everyone, especially, you know, families that are newly diagnosed, that are struggling, and quite honestly have been given advice of, unless they're over 300 don't treat when they're in school. And I'm just, I'm just shocked by that, because I know how I feel when I'm 300. And I sure as heck wouldn't be in any kind of learning mode in my brain, you know, and so that, so that was one angle of it. But for me, personally, it was being bold, it was having the being given permission to just try it. And I still have a bike, I still have a few lows. There, I'm realizing that some of the proteins actually affect my blood sugar, especially for me personally, chicken, I have to Bolus for chicken. And yeah, and so I feel like you gave me permission to be bold. Oh, and what's the worst thing that's going to happen? I'm going to go low, and I'm going to pop ugly.

Unknown Speaker 17:14
Nice. I'm so glad that that's amazing. Because Well, let me think about how I would how I would say this, you and I typed into art and about our blood sugar at the same time. Hold on one sec.

Scott Benner 17:29
So it's cool, because you talked about a journey, right? Like about trying to figure this thing out. And you know, figuring out why your your health isn't where you want it to be. And, and nobody's really helping to the point in as much as that's something you don't walk into a doctor's office and somebody doesn't look, you can go, Oh, my God, this thing do this. And it just, it fixes it. Right? So I think that I think that when I think about how, what everything that led us to you and I talking today or me talking to the last person I spoke to, or whatever it ends up being, it was just so similar. It was I was lost, I didn't know what to do. And I started a blog, and I'm writing this blog, and it's great. And blogs are the way things were done back then. And you know, just that I saw it help people. But then at some point, I was like, it's not helping enough. Like it's just it's making people feel not alone, which I think is really valuable and really great. But then what's left, like I I know I said to you privately recently, you know, when you find out, you're not alone. It's an incredible sense of calm, and it really does help it does help to know somebody else has been through this. It helps to know that they've been through it and they've succeeded that it hasn't killed them, like, you know, hasn't made them crazy. But then you go home and it's you know, four o'clock in the morning and your blood sugar's 65 you are now alone, you know, like like being the memory of all the other people who have been low at four o'clock are nice, but but they don't help you get your blood sugar back up without going to 300 it doesn't help you the next night not get back to 65. Again, like it lacks all of the, the the rest of the sentence like I always think we talk. I always think about how people speak in sort of platitudes. You know, like I wrote about it recently, I actually wrote about it in my book years ago, like it really is something that sticks with me the idea of like, I remember my mom saying to me, like marriage is hard. And I remember being an adult and thinking like, why didn't she finish that sentence? Like like marriage is hard. And here's what I should have done. Here's what I could have done. Here's what would have been better if this happened? You no way do you see, you know, people say that all the time you have a kid Oh, wait, oh, you say Wait, am I see what tell me? Why is it a secret? You know, like, and so we do that with diabetes all the time. It's like, well, this is so obviously like that,

and then there's more but nobody says more. And I just thought, well, this is what this should be like it should be saying the rest of it. You know, you don't mean like let's say the rest of it. And what and what's holding people back, and I paid attention for years. And the best that I could make sense of is that people are afraid of their insulin. And I think that's the core of what happens. I'm going to read the definition of fear and unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something or someone is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Most of what we talked about here on the podcast revolves around not being afraid of your insulin, being able to make bold decisions about your boluses and your basal rates, keeping spikes away, keeping a Lowe's away. It's all really about not being afraid. Luckily for us, there's a tool that can help us to not be afraid. When I realized years ago that it was my fear that was holding me back from making better decisions for my daughter's health. You've heard me tell that story right where Arden was upstairs, and I told her to Bolus through a text message because I could see what our blood sugar was on our CGM through our share feature. And then I realized, I don't need to be afraid anymore. It doesn't matter where Arden is, I can always see what's happening. When I got over that fear, it was a huge turning point in our life, and to mine. That's when our agency started going down. And now they stay there. The dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor is at the core of how I let go of that fear, being able to see the direction and speed of Arden's blood sugar helps me to make better Pre-Bolus decisions. It helped me to be more confident that my bosses were going to work gave me the, I guess, the kind of warm embrace of confidence. And it allows me to be bold with insulin. I really think you should go to dexcom.com forward slash juice box, or click on the links in your show notes or Juicebox podcast.com to find out more. So people are afraid of their insulin.

Vickie McWatters 22:03
And caregivers are afraid of the insolent nurses, school nurses. Right, right. You see it all the time.

Scott Benner 22:10
Everybody is and it makes sense in the moment, right? Like, it's, I don't want to kill anyone. Make sense? So I won't. But everything that comes now from that decision gets pushed off into the future and are like, our, our people brains don't exactly worry about 40 years from now, 20 years from now, 10 years from now, five years now, we don't think about things like that. You know, and especially when you're being attacked in the moment, sometimes it's what's the best thing I can do right now. And I just felt so sad for people who didn't know that there were these other things you could do right now, that would not only fix now, but fixed later. And and I just thought so what's keeping me from saying this to people like I should, you know, and more people should, by the way, but most don't. And I get it like I've heard the you know, like, well, everybody's diabetes isn't the same. And so I took that really seriously because it's true. But it's a thought that stems from 15 carbs for 15 minutes like that thinking, like, right, like everybody's everybody's looking for this mathematical perfection about how something gets adjusted. Every time I talk to somebody for the first time, they want to know, well, when this happens, how much do I bolus? And I'm like, I don't know, I don't even know how much I've been a bolus the next time that happens to my daughter. Like you have to figure out how the insulin works. And as I keep thinking through the problem now as your as a listener to the pockets, you can hear the tenants that I hit on are just from thinking through not so much taking care of my daughter's diabetes, but how do I tell you about it? And and I can't believe that any of that happened either, don't me like it certainly wasn't on purpose. And then to hear someone like you come in and say you found it and this is all it's done for me. I mean, it would be it would sound cheesy to say that it's humbling. Because my narcissism won't allow me to feel humble. But but but but but no, seriously, like, it's it's I don't feel like that I'm not I don't feel like Oh, that's so nice. What I feel like is I can't believe this happened. I can't believe it worked. And we should do it more. And other people should do it. And you guys should all put me out of business like you should make this podcast unnecessary. You know, like, I want to see people struggle, get online, ask somebody and instead of somebody responding with Well, that's just diabetes, which is what you thought and which what everybody thinks. I want to hear somebody say, oh, that sucks. Here's what you need to do. Be bold.

Vickie McWatters 24:45
Right? And it was it was very liberating for me to stop counting carbs. You know, forget the whole keto thing, but to stop counting carbs and just say, Okay, what is this trend look like? What does it do when I eat chicken and what what do I just give myself a little insulin to make sure I don't do that little spike. And it is, for me works so much better intuitively, then the numbers, the numbers don't work for me.

Scott Benner 25:12
Well, even if that if you stop and think of what people have told you, if you if you're only going to Bolus for carbs, then you never would consider bolusing when you ate chicken, like never right never occurred, right? You'd say, somebody told me this was free. My blood sugar must be getting high for a different reason. I'll wait three hours and see what happens. Oh my god, I can't tell you that, that you know, Arden's blood sugar moves. And I'm like, ah, let's do something right now. Like right now, like, unless I'm in a situation, I'm like, this is gonna stop, or this is going to be I know it is I might wait a little bit. But you know, and and this aggressiveness becomes here's why it becomes really interesting. So artists, 13. She's clearly on our way to Lady time. And so she needs more insulin all the sudden, I just two weeks ago, arbitrarily increased ardens bazel rates by 30%. I didn't tell a doctor, I didn't wait. Her blood sugar's were higher. So I said, Okay, more insulin. And I'm still not sure I raised it high enough, at some points. There's one spot in the day where I think it's a little too high. And I'm going to crank it back a little bit. But there are other spots where it needs to be up again, because I'm still bolusing for no reason. And so what happened, who knows she's more mature, something's going on with her body, she's growing, blah, blah, blah, it's happening. But if I don't have that, empowerment to do something about it, then I sit here for 90 days, in a in a pool of anxiety. While she doesn't feel well going, Well, when I get back to the.com. I mentioned this to them and see what happens. And and that's a horrible way to live. No one should live like that.

Vickie McWatters 26:55
Well, when when I was diagnosed 18 years ago, I was able to have access to some pretty brilliant endocrinologist and I went and talked to people, I talked to people who were on insulin pumps, and decided, Okay, an insulin pump is the way to go. I know that I need to have an insulin pump, my first endocrinologist visit. Like, and again, this was 18 years ago, but I don't think much has changed. And my endocrinologist says to me that she thinks I would make a really great candidate for an insulin pump. But she would like for me to wait six months to a year. And I'm like, Why? Why? You know, will you have your honeymoon period. And, you know, I like for people to get used to taking shots. And so they know what to do if something happens to the pump. And I said, Look, I respect your opinion. And I if you can give me a really good medical reason, I may listen to it. But if you can't, I'm just going to go find another doctor that's gonna put me on an insulin pump. And she goes, Okay, let's order your pump. until six weeks after I was diagnosed. I was on a pump. Yeah.

Scott Benner 28:09
Now pay Vicki. She's like you're not going anywhere.

Vickie McWatters 28:15
So I now I did have a honeymoon period. It was frustrating, but it would have been frustrating. Michelle. Yeah. And I have had times where my pump went out. And I was traveling overseas. And I had to give myself shots. It sucked. But I managed it. And I you know, I'm not great at shots. I don't really, I'm not the needle poke just the, you know, how much insulin do I actually need? And do I need long acting and so so we, you know, I don't have that education behind me, but I figured it out. And I

Scott Benner 28:48
I'm sorry, that's such a good point, right is that is that first of all, it's anxiety ridden one way or the other. It's not like, without a pumps better than with a pump. It's all diabetes. It's just, you know, the pump gives you more tools, it gives you more freedom, it gives you more ability to make these small adjustments. But when when the pump stopped working on you, it wasn't like you just laid down in the road was like, Oh, I guess that's the end of my life. Right now. My insulin pump stops working, I guess, where's the train to throw myself in front of it. You just went I guess I should figure out what to do with these needles now. And so and so, in a world where you're going to wear that insulin pump most of your life. Why should you wait a year because that year is so dangerous in other ways. Sure, you learn how to manage with MDI. But if it's not working for you, by the way there are people manage them the fine this doesn't apply to them. But But if it's not working for you, this is a year of anxiety. This is a year of uncertainty. It's a year of bad health. It's a year of not feeling well, to what so now I have the experience of what it's like to live crappy with my diabetes like,

Unknown Speaker 29:50
right

Scott Benner 29:50
unbeliev like what kind of common sense is that? It's not it's just something someone said at some point. That now we all just listen to for some reason.

Vickie McWatters 30:00
And I was traveling internationally. So I knew that MDI was not going to work for me. I just, you know, with going across time zones and my schedule the way that it was, I just, I couldn't imagine that working for me.

Scott Benner 30:14
Okay. Well, I just I think that's an incredibly brave thing you did back then even because I'm just now speaking with somebody privately, who said to me the other day, well, they want me to wait six months. And I said, well just tell them you don't want to wait six months. And the response back was, I can't do that. I was like, why not? And then she thought about it. She was like, Yes, I could. And I was like, yeah, you know, because it's your money, your insurance your life. Like why would you want Why do you have to do what this person says to you about this one specific idea. And, and, but it's talked about over and over again, here. We are pre wired to like, listen to certain people in our lives. Doctors are one of them. Nobody. You never throw up a flag against it. I mean, listen, I had my shoulder fixed a year ago. The guy's like, I'm gonna cut your arm open. I'm gonna move these things here. I'm going to reshape this bone. And I went,

Unknown Speaker 31:06
Okay.

Scott Benner 31:07
I really probably should have looked into it further. I mean, but I wanted to believe him. Like, I like he does it, it works. He's done it before. Like all these people that come in here. I should have looked closer at it. I mean, it worked out fine. But the idea there that overarching idea of they he said it, and I just went, hey, it's cool. You went to medical school, you must know better than me. Right? So

Vickie McWatters 31:32
let's do it. I recently went to a doctor who I had been dying to go see, he's pretty well known keto doctor. And I finally got in with him. And we actually had a video of metas Ella conference, and, and he knew I was a type one. And he said to me, I think that your basal rates are too high, I think you need to lower your basal rate. And I said, Okay, what do you want to know what my basal rates are? And so I go to my pump, and I rattle mark to him. And he didn't ask me what my blood sugar's was were a certain time of day. He didn't ask me. If, you know, I was getting a lot of lows. And he didn't ask me if I was getting a lot of highs. He just said, Yes. Let's cut your basal rate. I want you to cut it by this much. I said, Okay. Let me wrap my head around this. You want me to cut my basal rates? So are you telling me you want me to run my blood sugar higher? No, no, no, I want it below 120? I don't understand that. Right? Because I don't give myself more insulin than I need. If I did, I would have low blood sugar. I think, you know, I think regardless of who you go to, and how you feel about, I think this doctor was brilliant. But when it comes to type one diabetes, I don't think he was

Scott Benner 32:55
saying that, like what made him just go and to your to what we're talking about. It's this idea that like he's got a thought in his head. You know, it's a this is how much your bazel should be a person, your agent, your weight, your base is too high, based on based on no facts coming back from you. And this is a person that you're able to go see because of how well regarded they are. Exactly. And so what stopped you from listening, because I'm assuming you didn't listen. Let me tell you a story about a day that I didn't listen to somebody advice. Arden was four years old, and we were getting her an insulin pump for the first time. And our doctor said here use this one. It's called the Animus Ping. And I said, Well, what about that one over there? That little cool thing with no tubes on it? What's that call? She goes? That's the Omni pod. But you want anatomist pink? I said, No, no, I want an omni pod. That thing looks futuristic. In that moment, all I thought was the person or the company who designed that was thinking about comfort and ease and convenience. They were having a bigger picture idea of what an insulin pump should be. They didn't just say, Hey, this is what its own pumps look like. So we'll make an insulin pump that looks like everybody else's. They thought what would make it better? They were thinking about the future. And I was right about that. It's been 10 years since I made that great decision. And I have not once regretted it. You know, in that time on the pod has redesigned their pump to be smaller. We were upgraded right along, didn't have to pay money wasn't like oh, my insurance company didn't say no, you have to wait just on the pod made an improvement and I got the improvement. And the company is sticking with that. today. Alibaba just found out that they got FDA clearance for their new PDM the dash. Now that's going to be the remote control that you use to talk to the pump. The next thing I hear from Omnipod dash is going to be free. That's right. They're going to get the manufactured over the next couple months. Get them out to the public. You can just have it you don't have to upgrade you don't have to pay them anything. That's something How nice is to be involved with a company who doesn't try to wring every nickel out of you. They just want you to have a great experience, use your tubeless insulin pump, live a good life. If you go to my omnipod.com forward slash juice box or click on the links in your show notes are at Juicebox podcast.com. Omnipod, would be thrilled to send you a free no obligation demo pod. You'll be able to hold it in your hand and wear it to see if it's going to be something that you would enjoy. I genuinely think that you will give it a try. And so what stopped you from listening? Because I'm assuming he doesn't listen?

Vickie McWatters 35:43
No, because I want to keep my I know my basal rates are good. I want to keep my blood sugar under 120.

Unknown Speaker 35:48
Yeah. Did

Scott Benner 35:50
you tell him to his face? Or did you do it? Did you not do it when you left the office? I'm interested.

Vickie McWatters 35:54
I did not tell him to advice. I told him that I was really confused by what he was telling me. But he changed the subject. He didn't dive any further and I just let it go.

Scott Benner 36:06
Who would have been great if he said, I really had no reason to say what I just said, I get bored. Sitting here this fluorescent like crazy. And I just start spouting stuff off. Just see if people listen. But it was in here. I told her to go home and ride an elephant for half an hour. I wonder if she did that. Maybe she just lost his mind, the humming of the fluorescent lights and the white walls and he says like I have to get out of here. Maybe if I kill a couple of these people, they'll fire me and I can get out. So God, I'd love to I'd love to ask him what he did that for. That's fascinating. But it's it's also such a great example. Because it's it's partly the situations fart it's partly our fault for wanting simple answers. It's also partly therefore for wanting to give simple answers. And there there are no, Well listen, I have a simple answer. Let me give it to you. If your blood sugar's high, you've missed timed miscalculated, or combination of the both your insulin and probably need more. And if your blood sugar is low, you miss time miscalculated, or need less. That's pretty much it. That's exactly it. In the end, it's I'm driving in my car, there's a tree ahead of me, I have to press on the brake a certain amount, so that I don't hit the tree. And at the same time, I don't stop the car so quickly that I flip it over. And so like where is that spot in the middle, that's where I belong. And it's all about the balance between the carbs and the insulin and you know, to some extent, what your body is trying to do, because your body's trying to lower and raise your blood sugar too. And so you just have to stay fluid. Because Because we have these ideas like oh, well, I'll put on this bazel rate. And that'll work fine. I don't understand why my blood sugar got high. Well, your body doesn't regulate your insulin by putting it at one exact level and leaving it there for the rest of your life. That doesn't work that way. Why would you think this artificial thing would work that way? The answer is, if you thought about it, you wouldn't. But someone told you that it works like that. So you said okay, and you moved on. And and you're not doing that. And so that's amazing.

Vickie McWatters 38:20
I think and I think that's what needs to change. You know, we've got to change the way we educate people about diabetes, and we do have to empower them. And I don't know, I don't know how we do that other than the Juicebox Podcast, but you know, we've we've got to make a change.

Scott Benner 38:37
It's obvious that the podcast is the answer. So here's what I here's my thought, you know, I talked a little earlier about, like the progress that I made bringing the podcast to light. I'm still thinking about it that way, because here's what I have happening now. I meet people through the podcast who are unsure, struggling new, looking for answers, then they find their answers and they go back to their life, which is what they should do. But then what happens the next day is more people come more newly newly diagnosed, more frustrated, fed up, etc. people show up again. And so I feel like there's a long road and I'm at one end of it. And scattered across the road, our nails, and people drive over the nails get to me, I fixed their flat tire and they keep going. What I want to do is find a way to get the nails off the road. And then I want to leave, I don't want to be here anymore. So So how to how do you I keep thinking how do I take what I've learned here? Because what we have to do is we have to go back to the people who make the road and those are the those are the doctors and how do we talk doctors into believing that you can give people good solid easy to understand easy to follow information in the beginning, instead of telling them things like well in a year you'll really understand these shots and then it will be okay to have a pump and and because what they don't Believe what they don't understand is that that those that year when they see you four times for 15 or 20 minutes, you are struggling and anxiety ridden and sad and sure that you are screwing this up. And you're not paying attention to all the things you should be paying attention to who would teach you how to stop what's happening, they don't offer you guidance, you don't have the wherewithal to pay attention to what's happening around you. No one's giving you any guidance whatsoever? How do we get the doctors to tell you on day one, and maybe they don't even know? Like, maybe even if, like, during me, like maybe even if they decided to tell you on day one, maybe they wouldn't tell you the simple things, maybe they would tell you something else stupid. That doesn't work.

Vickie McWatters 40:45
Hard, it breaks my heart to meet these new families that have been recently diagnosed. And maybe they've seen their endo one. And they're like, well, I've got a list of questions. Because, you know, all these things came up, and I've got all these questions. I'll go into my doctor in two weeks. And I just think to myself, Oh, I don't think you're gonna get them all answered. I just, we need some kind of a system where when people have the question they can get it answered right away. Because you're right. Well, how can we wait 90 days? In order to take our health back?

Scott Benner 41:21
Yeah, maintain it takes such a certain kind of person to I was talking to Chris Freeman the other day, I'm actually gonna put an interview up with him in a minute, this week, which will to you be three months ago, probably listening now. But he is such a certain kind of individual, that that he heard roadblocks, and he was just like, and he even says in the interview, he's like, part of it was just arrogance, I was just youthful. And I thought, you know, I'll do this, you know what I mean? And plus, it was him. So it wasn't like a loved one or a child. Like I get how it happens. Like I you know, I don't want anything bad to happen to me, I really don't want anything bad to happen to my kids. And now I'm uncertain. I'm an educated. I feel like someone hit me in the face with a shovel. This doctor told me do this. Now that all seems like a rule. And so now I'm like, Okay, and then I start following these rules, the rules get me nowhere, which makes me think I'm not following them correctly, then I feel terrible about that. And then it all compounds on itself. And then before you know it, I feel like I'm under 1000 pound blanket. And I don't I don't know what to do. And by the time and then I go back to the doctor, I'm like, have a question about my beers, or it's as if that's going to fix it. You know, it's just it's such an imperfect system. But I do believe that the podcast is really made me believe from the feedback that I get the private feedback I get from people, he has made me believe that people can handle knowing sooner what to do. And, and if it ends up being that you Vicky have one level of intellect, and I have another level of intellect, and the person across the street has a third level, and we are not all nearly as bright as one another. Maybe one of us won't get it. But that is not a good reason not to tell the other ones. That and that is really what we do right now is we just least common denominator, everything so that no one gets left behind. And I've said this a couple of times in the last few recordings, but it It always feels like school to me, like there's 20 kids in a room. Two of them are brilliant. 15 of them are average, and the rest of them are really, really, really below average. And then we don't want the kids at the bottom to fall behind. And we think that's okay, because that seems human. It's humane, I guess, right? And I don't disagree with it. But what about the kids at the top who are like, This class is doing nothing for me. And the kids in the middle? Who could be going so much faster, but aren't? Like, when did we decide who it was? Who was getting screwed? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, like, how do you? How did you decide how did doctors decide that health was going to get screwed? In case a couple of people couldn't follow what they were saying. And and and we have to find a way to empower the people who can take the information and do something with it, and at the same time, help those people who would struggle more with it. And that's why this podcast is perfect, because somehow I have some of the answers. And yet I'm an idiot. So when I say it, it's very understandable by every level of humanity, because I'm a dope, but at the same time, I know how to keep lectures a lot. So I think I honestly think this is joking aside. That's what they have to do. They have to they have to eat meat humanely and simply tell you something. And the problem is they don't know they don't have diabetes, they don't live with it. How would they know how to

Vickie McWatters 44:43
give you the tips, the tricks, and you don't I mean, yeah, and even I've had a couple endocrinologist that do have diabetes, and what they do doesn't necessarily work for me. Yeah, you know, and, by the way,

Scott Benner 44:57
you're right at the beginning that you had to take better Care of Yourself, because you were worried about standing up in front of people and being a hypocrite talking to them about diabetes, how many of those people are like that, or, or have just been at it too long or burned out of their own life, or whatever it ends up being, and it's hard to be excited when you're talking to them. The thing that keeps me motivated is I'm trying to help my daughter, if this was a podcast about how I took care of my diabetes, I'd be like, I cookies, it didn't go well. That would be that would be the whole podcast.

Vickie McWatters 45:29
Yeah, which brings up another really good point, I think that there, you know, diabetes, is very lonely. And especially if you have been diagnosed as an adult, and you don't have that relationship with a caregiver that totally understands what you're going through. So there's few people in your life, as an adult, who's been diagnosed, that really understand what you're going through. And although your family may want to, they don't really get it, unless, unless they were in your position where you're taking care of it day in and day out, you get it. When when you're an adult, and you get this, you don't have that, that person that you can go to. So it can be really, really lonely. And one of the things that we've done here, and Phoenix is we've started an adult type one group, and there's probably about 50 people that follow us, we meet monthly, and it's really an opportunity for us to just get together and either just complain about our day, or share our successes. Or sometimes we have somebody educational come in from Dexcom, or Omni pod. And it's really been a lot of fun. And I would love to see more groups like that across, you know, the US just embracing the type one adults because let's face it, our kids grow up and type one doesn't go away. And they become adults, and they become their own caregiver and it gets lonely.

Scott Benner 47:02
Yeah, I can't imagine I have the ability to step away from it. Because in the end, I don't have diabetes. Right, I can, at the end of a night of Arden's had a really terrible day, when she goes upstairs to bed, I'm, I'm where I am, and I exist, and I don't have diabetes, and in so there is a respite for me, I can escape. She can't escape at night. And it's, it's just lost. It's lost on most people, the the psychological aspect of it, it's, um, and and, and I think, going back to what we said at the beginning, it is really nice to support those people, people do need to vent, they do need to be like, oh, wow, this happens to you too. But more importantly, maybe we could eliminate a lot of that psychological pressure, if they weren't spending their whole day looking at food and going, I don't want to eat that it's gonna make my blood sugar go high. And then I'm gonna have to give myself insulin and I'm gonna give myself insulin and it's gonna go low, and then I'm gonna get this either not to eat something that's going to happen again, if people weren't having to feel like that all day long. You know, it might be it's diabetes is still gonna suck could suck a lot less. Perhaps that's the title of this episode suck a lot less.

Unknown Speaker 48:15
It's hard to know.

Scott Benner 48:16
But but but no, you just make such a great point. I think that's amazing. I know that for me, I have a couple of events coming up where I'm going to be out talking to big groups. And I'm really excited about them. Because it just because because Facebook, and this podcast, you know, there are people who are not online, there are people who are not comfortable doing this digitally. And they get completely ignored. You know, there's it's just there are so many touch people that need help.

Vickie McWatters 48:50
And it surprises me that people that have come across and said, Oh, you got to listen to this podcast. Don't listen to podcasts, which is surprising, but it is true. Yeah,

Scott Benner 49:03
I don't know how it's just it's I just got a text from a girl today. And she's like, I've been looking for support for so long. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that there'll be podcasts about diabetes. Yeah, but I love it. And at the same time give any idea heartless to explain to what a podcast is a certain person over a certain age, you know, work out how to get out of their phone hadn't listened to it. When do we listen to it? I don't listen to you. You're a guy. I would listen to a guy through my phone. You know, like I only watch I only watch famous people on television. Although if everything that's going on in the news continues happening. There'll be no one famous left to pay attention to because they all apparently sexually assaulted someone. So it's just entertainment. It's insanely terrible. But it's like every time you turn around, you're like that guy. That guy that guy him well that I get him I didn't expect it's just it's how is you know, I don't think it's possible that everybody is terrible.

Unknown Speaker 49:58
But no but

Scott Benner 49:59
you like is this isn't something people think about as, like, as their entertainment. People think about television, they want to see a movie, they're gonna read a book. I mean, you know, a person over a certain age doesn't know what a podcast is. Right? And so, and then some people come on and they hear things. I like that when people come on and tell me, I learned something. It was so valuable. I went back and I told my end on I always say, to tie your endo, you learn something on a podcast, they're gonna think you're insane. And so I said, you know, I'd be like, hey, look what I figured out what do you think of so don't don't tell them about me until you're pretty comfortable that they're not gonna like, take your kid from here called Beifuss. Well, I listened to his phone made some insulin decisions. I think he had a kid from it. Yeah, like so. It is really interesting. How did you find your old life? Because you were Did we? Did we say in the beginning, you work in pharma. Right before you for the jdrf? not say that?

Vickie McWatters 50:56
I didn't know that. We said that. But I did.

Scott Benner 50:58
Okay, so how do you find your old life versus your new life? Like, did you do you enjoy this thing? Helping people as much as I do? Or do you miss getting paid? doesn't pay like a pharma job? Well, but but how are you enjoying this part of it?

Vickie McWatters 51:19
And I, you know, I love it. And this is very much a passion for me. It is feels good to go to work every day and know that you're making a difference. And when I worked in pharma, it was quite interesting. They were a big diabetes company. And I would sit in these diabetes meetings, and I would hear them talk about the patient. And I would, I would hear them just say all these great things. And me one day, well, I'm the patient asked me that. And I never felt like a patient. I never felt like, as an employee, I was free to be a type one diabetic. And one day, we got a memo. And that said that they had found some sharps and a couple of the bathroom, trash cans, and that we needed to go to employee health services and pick up a sharps container and keep it at our desk. Well, I'm pretty sure that it's a law that they have to provide sharps containers and public restrooms. And so I mentioned this to the vice president who sent the memo out and I said, I don't understand why a company like this isn't taking care of their own first, why don't we have sharps containers in the bathroom to make it convenient for us. And about three months later, we own sharps containers in the restrooms, but I don't think there were so there were so many things that they didn't think of as these employees are our patients to like even even having a focus group to say, what do you think of this new thing we're talking about? would you use it and that kind of stuff never happened. So for me to now be out of that, and looking back then, it wasn't as clear to me until I got out and now I'm looking back and I feel I feel very, very welcome. where I'm at right now. I can be who I am. It's kind of fun that I'm the only type one in the office that when they hear my alarm go off, you know, they'll say, Oh my gosh, where are you at? What's your blood sugar? You know, and and they're getting an education about it as well. It's cool. And it has been It has been a lot of fun. But yeah, I couldn't be happier.

Scott Benner 53:49
And your Omni pod is shutting down in eight hours. Is that it is didn't know you're on an ami pods. I heard that beeping and it was like yeah, I think I only got like three hours. Three hours left.

Unknown Speaker 54:04
Right away. I'm

Scott Benner 54:04
like I parked up like a dog. I was like, oh, we're gonna have to change the pot soon. Okay, here's what we'll do. I've got a new pot filled already, by the way, Vicki as soon as I heard it. I'm already Oh, that's really cool. We only have a couple minutes left and and so I you know, is there anything we missed that you want to talk about that

Unknown Speaker 54:32
I didn't get to?

Vickie McWatters 54:35
I think we covered it. You know, I just again, I I just want to thank you for what you do. And I do think that we need to get this out there more like you said the more people that you can talk to the more people that we can get the word out that people just this is this is a disease you have got to take ownership of. And while our doctors are there to help guide us along the way they aren't making the final decision. And that's something that I try to get across to my family. You know, as we're doing some of these five oh fours and going into the schools and helping educate. I just think it's so important.

Scott Benner 55:11
I couldn't agree more, I really could not. And I really appreciate you coming on and talking about it. Because you have a really unique perspective, as you know, being an adult who is diagnosed plus being working for the jdrf. Now, having been in the private sector, you don't you don't get that kind of mix all the time. I think it's amazing how you how you kind of chase down better health, and how it all led to this. Like, that's always the thing that I wonder the most like, how did you find this because I can only do so much to get out into the world. And I'm pretty sure that all the things I'm obsessive Li doing, trying to get more people to understand that the podcasts exist so they can give it a try. I don't think I'm the one who's reaching the people I think you guys are. So it's pretty cool, you know. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker 55:55
Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Vicki

Scott Benner 56:01
for coming on the show and sharing your story. Thank you also, on the pot index comm for sponsoring this episode of the Juicebox Podcast. Please go through the links in your show notes or Juicebox podcast.com. To find out more about next comment on the pod. You can also type into your browser, my omnipod.com Ford slash juice box, or dexcom.com Ford slash juice box. At the end of the last episode, I told you that this episode was going to be with Sam, but then I realized I made a mistake.

Unknown Speaker 56:30
So you got Vicki. Right.

Scott Benner 56:31
I think it was a winner. Sam apparently I put out like 20 episodes ago. Just I read it wrong. Sorry about that. But I'm undaunted. Now I'm gonna try to tell you who's on next week. Okay, I think it's gonna be john. I'm pretty sure it's john. It's not john then it will be Colleen or Natalie. Could be Monica, Brian. Emily, Alicia, Melinda, Mandy Janae. Ella, Jess, Katherine. Ginger, Jen. A great episode about burnout might be with Ashley. It could be with Ryan could be with Susan could be with Alina could be with. George, Mike. Lisa, Sam, another Sam. Aaron. Turns out I have a lot of episodes coming up for you. I hope that makes you excited because it makes me excited to bring them to you. There'll be a new episode of the Juicebox Podcast every week for the rest of the year and beyond. Forever and ever and ever. As long as we need to do this podcast. It's going to be here.


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Arden is wearing am Omnipod and a Dexcom G6 in this photo. Her Bg is 86 and she is on her way to the formal. To learn more about these devices use the links just above this picture. 

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#170 Just Another Tuesday with Type 1 Diabetes

Scott Benner

Sugar Rush...

Erin shares her thoughts on T1D management, anxiety, depression and the rest. It's just another Tuesday with type 1 diabetes. (Scroll to bottom to see Arden's dress).

Sugar Rush Survivors - Erin's Blog

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.\

Scott Benner 0:00
You've chosen today to listen to Episode 170 of the Juicebox Podcast and allow me to say, I think you've made a wise decision. Today I'm speaking with Aaron and her conversation is filled with story with management ideas. It's got the fields, she talks about everything from diagnosis to depression, anxiety, everything, everything you can think of wrapped around Type One Diabetes gets involved in this episode, somehow or someway, and it pays off right until the last moment, some of the biggest topics don't come up until after it's been on for an hour. I was even stunned when I went back and read it. I was like, Man, this thing pays off. So I hope you enjoy it. Before we get going, let me ask you two questions. Do you have your Omni pod? Do you have your Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor? Have you clicked on the links in the show notes? Why not? If you haven't Dexcom is a proud sponsor of the Juicebox Podcast. They've never actually said they were a proud sponsor, but I'm assuming they are. And let's just say right now that on the pod is a proud sponsor as well, and that I've actually heard them say, so pay for what I just said was absolutely true. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making changes to your health care plan. And my dentist office is calling so this is going great.

You're having a rocky morning.

Unknown Speaker 1:32
Um, it's just a Tuesday.

Unknown Speaker 1:38
Oh my gosh. So

Scott Benner 1:39
you What did you do? You went you took you went to school and forgot? The dexcom receiver, what

Unknown Speaker 1:44
did you what was what? Yeah.

Erin 1:46
So normally, I asked my son to be five. I asked him to pack his sling bag with his kit, and XCOM and his water bottle. And I was in the moment, I was asking him to do a couple of other things to you know, put on shoes, and all this stuff and the other. And so I had all of the stuff. And I thought okay, well, I'll just put it in the sling bag today. We've been pretty adamant lately, especially about just getting him used to, you know, this is what you need to have with you. It's your responsibility to put it in the bag and make sure you have it with you. I should have just done that.

Scott Benner 2:29
For five years doing pretty well, though.

Erin 2:31
He is yes, we're just we're trying to get him. Yeah, you know, get them there. So I put in the kit and the water bottle in the bag. And I sat down the Dexcom we have the phone, we sat down with the Dexcom phone. And it was just time to go. We all went out to the car. My five year old son, my two year old daughter and myself. And it wasn't until I was driving on the way back home. And I always check you know, to make sure that the the shares

Scott Benner 3:03
working and you can see

Erin 3:05
that comes on is peered I'm getting numbers. And I didn't see the numbers on the way back home. And I thought oh, boy, I think I forgot it.

Scott Benner 3:14
So which version of Dexcom are you using? Is it the?

Unknown Speaker 3:18
We're on the G 5g five?

Scott Benner 3:20
But he needs the receiver.

Erin 3:22
He's not No he doesn't it? It's not the receiver. It's a it's an old iPhone. Oh, okay. I

Scott Benner 3:28
was gonna say I was like that, that didn't make that say for a second. But that's great. Let's say you're like, Oh, where's the numbers? And the numbers have been gone forever?

Unknown Speaker 3:35
Yes. Well, we should

Scott Benner 3:36
know he's not at least you know, he's not addicted to a cell phone. I five, five years old because my daughter would never leave the house without her cell phone. Oh, gosh. Well, it's

Erin 3:45
what's good about it is it made it can't do anything. We don't it can't make calls. You know, we've got it set up right now. We only just recently made it so that we can send him a text. But he doesn't even know that yet. Because, you know, he's not even he's learning his his letters and numbers. You know, he's learning how to write sentences. He doesn't know how to text yet.

Unknown Speaker 4:10
So well, that's cool. So

Scott Benner 4:11
so I was gonna say that. So of course he doesn't want the phone doesn't do anything. And right. If it did something he wouldn't, he wouldn't

Erin 4:20
know if it is boring.

Scott Benner 4:23
So we obviously started and not really started so Introduce yourself for just real quickly. We'll keep going.

Erin 4:30
Sure. I am Aaron Showalter. I have been a type one mom since December 27 2013. And my son was diagnosed when he was 21 months old. Yeah, he's now five. So it's been you know, a rocky couple of years but we're here and Yeah,

Scott Benner 4:55
well, so. Yeah, I Sharon reached out and she was like you don't have enough people on who have really little kids. with diabetes, and I was like, you're right. And so, so she came on, and I think it's a, I think it's gonna be interesting. So let me just we'll start off, you know, with a couple of questions that get us rolling. So, any reason to think your kid was gonna have diabetes? Was it in the family, your husband? Has it? Grandmother? Nothing like anything like that? No, absolutely not. We

Erin 5:19
have no family history of it whatsoever.

Scott Benner 5:22
So you just, you're just there. And he is he? Is he your oldest?

Erin 5:27
Yes, he's my first. Okay. So

Scott Benner 5:28
your first your first kid, 21 months old, you're probably pretty excited. Coming up on the second birthday. haven't killed him, right. So you're like, doing it, you know, paying your bills, things are happening like this. We made a family. And

Erin 5:46
we really didn't know until I guess around Thanksgiving, I kind of started to realize that there wasn't something something just wasn't quite right. I had absolutely no idea what you know, I have, I have no medical background. This certainly wasn't anything that we were looking for. And in really little kids, it's really hard to tell because they can't tell you how they feel. So looking back on it now, I can look back on the photographs from Halloween from that year. And I can see that he was thin and gaunt and pale and had the dark circles under his eyes. And my husband is very tall and thin. And we just kind of assumed that well, you know, he's growing up and not growing out and he's going to be tall, like his daddy. And I went on we went through Halloween and Thanksgiving. Christmas preparations. And it was just really, you know, story that I'm sure you've heard time and time and time again. But with a with a really little kid. What happened was we were he was being through his diapers at night. We thought we had a diaper problem. So we were looking for industrial strength. super absorbent diapers on Amazon. And you know, it's still happening. He was being through the diaper through his PJ's through the peach in the mattress pad and everything. Anything he was close to. Yeah. Yes, exactly.

Scott Benner 7:19
That's fun. Isn't it interesting that you're because I don't why wouldn't it but you like wow, they the diaper doesn't hold the urine.

Unknown Speaker 7:25
Right?

Scott Benner 7:26
We need better diapers? Yes. makes total sense. It really genuinely does make sense. When did you by the way? Did you find industrial strength diapers at any

Erin 7:37
point? I think we switched brands a couple of times funny. Yeah.

Scott Benner 7:45
So did you did he gets sick? Or I mean, what pushed you over the edge and made you go?

Erin 7:50
There's something wrong? Well, no, not really, it was just kind of a collection of things. He would drink a nine ounce bottle of water and immediately ask for more. Those two things together were just something just wasn't quite right. And he was, you know, we would go for walks just the two of us. And he would be so excited. And we'd head down the block, and then halfway down the block, he would just want to sit down. And I was getting so frustrated. And I feel really guilty about it. Now I know that it shouldn't. But there it is. It's just there. You know, and I thought, Oh, come on, you know, we're out for a walk, let's have a nice walk. But he would just shut down. And you know, now I know that was because his little body just couldn't go anymore.

Scott Benner 8:35
And you're stuck thinking, Hmm, I made a baby. And it's lazy. This isn't how I saw this going at all. I thought maybe some sports or something would happen. We I could be that mom, I can watch a game on Saturdays, but this kid walk up the street.

Erin 8:50
And it wasn't even just just a human sitting down. It was I mean, it would be like a full blown meltdown. And of course, you know, I'm thinking, Well, you know, we're coming up on on the terrible twos. And this must be what happens. But there was still something that just, you know, I saw my friends children. And I saw their tantrums and they're just there was something a little bit different about this. And I really didn't know what but the thing that really made me question what was going on was, there was the smell on his breath. And I've since learned that not everybody can smell it. And over Thanksgiving, I was asking my husband to smell my son's breath and my mom does smell his breath. And nobody else could smell this weird smell. And I couldn't even I couldn't describe it to it. The only way that I could describe it, then was snow plasticky.

Scott Benner 9:42
Yeah, I told Kelly metallic when I told her

Erin 9:44
Yeah, yeah, I've heard a lot of people say that to you. So it didn't click until I started. I mean being a 21st century parent. What do you do? Dr. Google. I started typing in symptoms and it didn't click until somebody online I mentioned that it smelled like fingernail polish like acetone. That's what it really smelled like to me. Well,

Scott Benner 10:06
it's funny because I said to Kelly I was like, it's like metallic or maybe it's fruity. Right? And then she was like, oh, it just right right there. And Kelly was like, she's diabetes. And I was like, really? And we weren't a couple years ago. We were a decade ago. The we you know, we were we were on vacation. In like a rental house. It didn't even have Wi Fi I took I took my sister in law's laptop because not even everybody had a computer at this point. Right. hanging over a deck stealing Wi Fi. From a house next door typing in signs and symptoms type one diabetes.

Unknown Speaker 10:40
Oh, wow.

Scott Benner 10:41
That's that's really something so you guys,

Erin 10:42
How far away are you from medical care?

Scott Benner 10:47
wasn't bad. We it was but it was like one o'clock in the morning. So I called I called a friend of mine who was my is our pediatrician. He actually went online and found me a hospital ago though.

Unknown Speaker 10:57
Wow. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 10:58
But are you far?

Erin 11:01
No, we're not we're, we're right in town.

Scott Benner 11:05
To see ever are you?

Are you out west? No, we're in the south right now. Yeah, this Africa since it because I'm hearing like, I'm hearing your Southern?

Unknown Speaker 11:13
Oh, it's not Southern to you a little

Scott Benner 11:16
bit. Yeah. And but at the same time, our times difference was that I thought maybe like maybe she's more or less than I think in a transplant. But okay.

Erin 11:23
So that's really interesting, because most most people don't hear the southern that's interesting, cuz I've been here, like pretty much all my life. But

Scott Benner 11:31
it's not. It's not strong years. It's phrasing next time you say something I'll get? I'll put it out to make you feel really, really self conscious about?

Erin 11:41
No, it's okay. I'll feel more at home. I've kind of felt out of place for a while.

Scott Benner 11:46
So okay, so, so we're at the hospital now.

Unknown Speaker 11:50
And, oh, no.

Erin 11:54
Christmas happened. And we're opening presents, and he would open a present. And then he didn't want to have anything else to do with it. And it's just not normal, you know, for a little kid not to get excited

Scott Benner 12:09
about all of those just like the walks he just he kind of couldn't keep it going.

Erin 12:12
Yeah, very long, right? Yes, exactly. So that was the 25th. The next day, you know, I was I was googling, I think, probably that night and the next morning and found, you know, all this kept popping up. And I call her pediatrician. And I said, I think that I need to have my son in to get checked out for type one diabetes. And I told my husband after I called her pediatrician. And he had a little upset with me, he's very analytical. And he didn't want my guessing to influence, you know, what, what the diagnosis might be. But I was like, I can't fool a blood test.

Scott Benner 12:58
Right, right. I mean, what if you called the Doctor off and said, Listen, I think my kid can fly, but I need him to test. It's not like doctors gonna go Wow, you're ready, Ken. That's amazing. Yeah, I hear what your husband saying though. I think that sometimes when you're like, you know, I think of it more like when you're on on the phone with customer service, like sometimes you don't know, lead them the wrong way. Because they get out of there. They get out of their path that they usually use, and then

Erin 13:19
they get and I and I completely understand and I understand where he was coming from. And yeah. And the

Scott Benner 13:27
doctor say to the doctor, like, Oh, you,

Unknown Speaker 13:31
the kid doesn't have

Erin 13:32
diabetes who are and I'm really glad that that was not our story, because I've heard that story from so many, many people. We went in, we saw our favorite nurse there. And I told him what I thought might be going on. And he went and got their blood sugar, Escott their, their their glucose kit, and check his blood sugar, and the blood kind of drained from his face. He went to get another test trip. He said I just needed to make sure he was very calm about it and came back and checked his blood sugar again. And he showed me the result. And it just said hi. And you know, it was over 600 it was higher than their meter could read. So they set up for us to go up to our nearest Children's Hospital. And we went home and packed a bag and went up there

Unknown Speaker 14:27
still Christmas Day.

Erin 14:29
This is the two days after December 27.

Scott Benner 14:32
I've come to realize that I think that everybody says that they're diagnosed on vacation or on Christmas or something like that. But I think what really happens is, stuff's going on for a while. And when your life slows down, you can actually pay attention to it.

Erin 14:45
That is exactly what happened.

Scott Benner 14:46
Yes. So it's not that everybody's magically diagnosed on Christmas. It's, we're on vacation because vacations a big one. You know, we figured it out on vacation. You hear that constantly. I think it's just you know, you slow down enough to really start putting the pieces together.

Erin 14:59
Saying Exactly, yes, there's been so much lead up to the holidays that, you know, yes, I think there might be something going on. But I need to focus on this.

Scott Benner 15:08
They consider him to be in decay when he got to the hospital or no,

Erin 15:11
no, actually, thank goodness, he wasn't. I don't even remember what the number was. Yeah, and the we didn't, we weren't given any sort of instructions on the way up there. So he's upset and you know, he's in the backseat. And in his little car seat, he has a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels.

Scott Benner 15:34
a lollipop and five pounds of sugar. Just started eating, he was very hungry.

Erin 15:39
I mean, we didn't know any better. You know, we we knew that we had an upset toddler. And we were going to something that was going to be pretty scary for all of us. And we kind of needed some calm and we kept feeding him pretzels. I think that's interesting. Yeah, considering Phil other things, but because that

Scott Benner 15:57
ride is so you know, I've described

Erin 16:01
it for us, it was about an hour and a half, two hour ride.

Scott Benner 16:05
Wow. And that whole time, you're just sitting in the quiet together thinking,

Erin 16:08
all of the things that you're thinking, or be facing? Yes, exactly.

Scott Benner 16:14
What it said a couple years ago, what what's the what's the so you're in a children's hospital? What's the play when they come out? Are they? Are they giving you you know, talking about insulin pump? Or are they just giving you a pen? Do they talk about glucose monitors, like how does it how does that conversation go? Once he's in and they get him stabilized? And everything? What's it sound like?

Erin 16:35
Do you remember everything? I know, that's part of it. It's such a blur, it was four days. Of course, we're you know, sleep deprived as everybody is at diagnosis, and just worried as all get out. I have to say, I'm really, really grateful for our children's hospital and for the training that we've received. I've talked with a lot of parents, and then who I don't think got the level of training that we got, which really scares me. And this and this is a whole other topic of conversation. I've talked with adults who have been diagnosed with type one, and they get ridiculously low amounts of information. It's It's frightening. It is shocking

Scott Benner 17:23
that people out here they just gave me insulin needles. They're like, Well, here you go

Unknown Speaker 17:27
and collapse in two weeks. Yeah. Do you then hopefully, yeah,

Scott Benner 17:31
that I've heard I've heard stories that are the people would have been better off on their own. Like, if they just had access to the medication on their own and Google, they could have figured out better. Right, but yeah, so you get so you got good direction. And but you know, at first, I can go back for a second. So I hear like, you're, it's it's a confusing time. And so even asking you a specific question about what happened in the hospital, you're not gonna be able to come up with a specific answer. Like, it's, it's interesting. I remember feeling exactly the same way, just really like someone whacking me in the head with a bat. And I was just trying to pull myself together the whole time.

Erin 18:03
And do a bunch of math problems at the same time.

Scott Benner 18:05
Yeah, yeah, you were back at school, all of a sudden to

Erin 18:08
math is not my strong suit. So when I learned that my son's life was going to depend on me doing equations all day, and that was, I had a big laugh about that. This is, this is ridiculous, God.

Scott Benner 18:25
I'm not doing this. Well, do you? Do you still do you lean on the math now? Because I don't I pay no attention to I feel kind of guilty that I don't.

Erin 18:36
We have a pump, we've got an anonymous pump, which again, that's another conversation. Right? So he was on a pump, excuse me about seven months after diagnosis. Okay. So for those first seven months, yes, we had the notebook and doing the equations all day and trying to figure out how to dose him afterwards after he ate. Because he's not even do yeah. And I can't guarantee that he's going to eat everything. And I literally cried over spilled milk. After measuring it out,

Unknown Speaker 19:14
I measured that.

Erin 19:16
I measured it out. It got filled on the table, he had already had some how on earth do I measure the volume that's on the table that you know?

Scott Benner 19:27
And now you know, right? It doesn't matter at all. Like it just it's sort of meaningless at this point. Like it's just more so. So let me let me let me ask you a bunch because I think this is where like, the real value in your conversation ends up being so talk about having a 21 month old probably weighs I'm guessing around 20 or 25 pounds, probably not that not that bag, right? Using injections, and a meter. So what were your days like? Were they just like, like you're saying, just measure the food. See how much of it he eats figure how much of it he, you know, he actually gives him some insulin. Were you even trying to keep his blood sugar? Like from spiking? Are you just like, was it just constantly like a like a dam with cracks in it, you just kept putting your fingers in the holes? Like, what does that feel? Like? What was your goal, I

Unknown Speaker 20:16
guess?

Erin 20:18
To keep them alive, really. I mean, it's we started having some issues with him not wanting to eat. And I had to back off a lot. Because I was so anxious about getting it right and doing the math, right. And figuring out beforehand, how much is this portion? And trying to get him to eat nice round numbers have it and you know, please, can you eat just half or three quarters of it so that I can do the math? And all within a 30 minute timeframe, which is became really a battle between us. And it shouldn't have been?

Scott Benner 21:14
Well, you had that rusher, right? Like if he doesn't, first of all I need to it needs to be equal amounts so that I can do the math. And then it needs to be fast enough so I can put the insulin in. Yeah. Because what happens when when it took longer? How far did his blood sugar shoot up?

Erin 21:29
Oh, gosh, in those first months, and I would say until we got the Dexcom you know, like seven or eight months later? And it was easily he would go into the 400.

Scott Benner 21:39
Yeah, and this is almost every meal. Almost. Yeah. So you spent all day. Big number trying to get the big number back down. Yes. Time to eat big number, boom, boom, go to sleep. Oh, my Yeah. Well, that sounds

Erin 21:54
intense. And constantly worrying in between? Because, you know, not knowing Yeah. And he can't tell me how he feels. He can't say whether he feels low, or they feel high. And you know, not that he wouldn't even know what that felt like in the first place. Yeah. How

Scott Benner 22:07
often? Were you testing in that time?

Erin 22:09
Oh, gosh, at least 10 times a day. And I have to say that. Because of my anxiety about it. It was probably a lot more than that.

Scott Benner 22:20
No, I think 10 was my number. For sure. Yeah. in that space. And so talk about a little bit about the so this is this is multifaceted, right? So you're sitting there thinking is your first kid, first of all, I mean, you know, my first child was two, I was still just like, every day, I was like, I can't believe I've been lost this kid like, you know, like, he's here every day. Like, I've never left them somewhere or like, you know, like, you're still you're still having very minor, you know, celebrations, and so and so but you get you lose all that. First of all, I think that's not, that's not talked about enough. All this joy that you were looking forward to and expecting it just doesn't exist anymore. Now you're just an untrained, anxiety ridden? Nurse. Right? With

Unknown Speaker 23:07
a very good description. Right? Just

Scott Benner 23:09
you just like, Oh, my God, yeah. all day, every day, all day long is that I felt exactly like you did. And I want I want to say for a second that if for people who really do listen to the podcast, I think it's really important to know that what Aaron's describing is exactly how I was, I just, I would stare at Arden and just look for like a sign on her face or circles under her eyes or I don't know what the hell I was even looking for just something that would tell me what her blood sugar was. And you know, am I supposed to be it my whole life was like that. I talked about it here very briefly, but there was a time in my life. Where if you just randomly said to me Hey, Scott, an hour from now tell me when it's been an hour. I could do it. I could do it like down to 10 seconds. Because I was always thinking like that like, okay, in an hour, I'll test and an hour, I'll do this an hour, I'll do that. It got so like, like, the weight of it was so incredible that my anxiety was it was absolutely through the roof. Like, it was crazy. And I'm such a mellow person, you know, and so I just and there was no like, somebody didn't come along seven months later, go, Hey, here's a glucose monitor. This is all gonna be better for you. It just went on and on and on. And I don't know. I mean, this conversation makes you think about everybody who doesn't have the insurance or the money to have I think Scott I think about that every single day. And I wish

Erin 24:35
that at diagnosis if if the person wanted it, I wish they could have a dexcom we would give up the pump before we gave up the dexcom Well, you're gonna be we love the pump. I mean, the sump pump is a really great tool. Yes,

Scott Benner 24:50
intent are amazing. If you if you had to choose I'm sure. This is a fairly common sentiment that if you had to choose just knowing Which way your blood sugar is going? how fast it's going is such an incredible

Erin 25:04
support system to be perfect. It's like me can do something about it.

Scott Benner 25:08
Yeah, right. Yeah. And so so you spent that so i cuz I hear from people a lot are like, hey, my kids, little I have injections, I want to listen to the podcast, I want to do what you're doing. But I don't know how to like, you know, we've tried a couple of times to have people on who talked about MDI and how they do it. In the end, I think what it always came down to was if you're willing to test enough and, and live in the uncertainty, it's probably doable. But these couple of leaps to make with little kids. And the one the one is, are they going to eat? Like, how do you Pre-Bolus a little kid and then have them look at their lunch and just go harmony in that?

Erin 25:47
Yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 25:48
I still ask Arden at lunchtime when she'll and she's gonna text me in about 10 minutes. I still, the thing I still say to her first is Are you hungry? Yeah. You know, I have currently the same thing. Yeah. Because I need to know, like, I mean, if you're, if you're ravenous, then I'm going to Bolus one way. If you're not, it's going to be another way. You know, but I can't. I can't not Pre-Bolus because it leads to the ruination of a day, like just like you. Yeah, it just one time eating food without putting the without balancing the timing of the insulin with the timing of the food. And you're just shot. It's over. And so and so you live like that for seven months, when you got the dexcom What was the most impactful thing like first like when you could see what was happening? What was the first thing you thought to change? When I think about our insulin pump, just now I sit and I think on the pot, what would I say about it? First thing that pops to my mind is that it's easy. It's easy to change. It's easy to use, it's easy to hide, it's easy to swim with, it's easy to take a shower with, it's easy. And that ends up being long term in your life maybe more important than anything else. Because at some point in your life, but type one diabetes, your goal is to just not think about it. Yesterday, Arden needed a pod change. You know, it's time to change your pod right after school and she had a friend over and they were doing homework. We were in the kitchen, she came around the other side of the island, filled the pod, pushed a button, stuck it on, pushed another button, went back and sat down with our friend. That was easy. Later she needed insulin. She pushed another button. Easy. It's not attached to anything. You don't get caught on doorknobs. That's easy. Seems like a small thing right now. But when you're walking through the house with YouTube pump and the tubing gets caught on a doorknob and rips your set out, you'll think I wish that didn't happen. And you'll probably curse a little bit. But if you want your life to be easier with Type One Diabetes, I really think you should try the Omni pod insulin management system. You go to my Omni pod.com forward slash juicebox or click on the link in your show notes. And on the pod, we'll be happy to send you out a free no obligation demo pod. So you can try it for yourself. Even that's easy, you just fill in the tiniest bit of information, and it shows up at your house. Hey, you know what, I'm going to put a picture of Arden in that red dress on this episode's webpage back at Juicebox podcast.com. My omnipod.com forward slash juicebox. So when you got that Dexcom and saw the data, what was the first thing you thought to change leap?

Erin 28:36
I was I was literally afraid to go to sleep I still am sometimes. And of course that leads to a whole host of other things that you know, I mean with with the anxiety and I do want to kind of go back to that in just a little bit because I really don't think that's talked about enough with caregivers and the the anxiety and the depression. So, but when we first got the Dexcom just that burden was released of not knowing. Because I would check his finger, we were going to be going out for a walk, for example, and I would check his finger before we go. We're going out for a walk and five minutes into the walk. I would start thinking what's it doing now he's exercising, and it doesn't take much for a little kid. You know, for his it doesn't take much for anybody with type one for the blood sugar to go down quickly. But you know, I'm walking beside my son and his little legs are going three times as fast as mine are just to try to keep up with me. And I don't know what his blood sugar is doing now. Is it steady? Is it going down? What and just the not knowing was excruciating. Right? And getting the dexcom for me, at least it was you know, it is a fantastic tool for him. And it's a fantastic tool for our family. Because at least we have an idea of what's going on.

Scott Benner 30:00
The first two, the first impact that made on you was just the knowing and then you felt like maybe I could sleep a little bit because at that point seven months in without sleeping, you get a little weird.

Unknown Speaker 30:11
Yeah.

Scott Benner 30:13
You start losing who you are, you, you, you, you know, a lot. So last night's good. A good example for around here i got i get sick in an interesting way. I don't feel well, then I fall asleep. And when I wake up the next morning, I'm okay. And so I really don't get sick very often. And so last night, I'm trying to do some things around the house, I'm folding laundry, I'm making dinner, I'm kind of bouncing back and forth between the kitchen upstairs. And finally around seven o'clock, I'm out in the kitchen. I'm like, I'm thinking I'm going to eat now. And I just didn't feel well. And I thought my legs hurt and my feet hurt. Everything was aching. I was like, Oh my god, I'm getting sick. And so I kept pushed on a little more. And then I said to Kelly, I'm like, Listen, I something's I gotta go to sleep, you know. So I just, I just, you know, Kelly took care of things. And I just passed out. And but before I did that, I was still working on Arden's blood sugar a little bit. And I had a site that I should have bailed on sooner. And it was one of those sites where I couldn't tell if it was the pump or if it was her. And like I stuck with it too long. Yeah, so I'm there trying to figure out the food. I'm I'm starting to not feel good. It's later at night. And somebody said something to me. And I really did like snapped at people. Yeah. And Kelly came out to the kitchen. She kind of joked with me, I think to diffuse it a little bit. But I was like, trying like, like I was like I'm trying, you know, all the things that I usually am so good at about like being real fluid about the blood sugar and the insulin, all that stuff that I'm good at. As soon as I didn't feel good. And I was a little tired. I lost my ability to do it like a person. Yeah, you know, and and that's just one day. If you're living like that for seven months for two years, you know, for 10 years. That's just now you're just surviving. Now you're just now Your days are just not dying. You're not driving at this point, you know? Yeah. Um, so you were at that spot in just seven months. You were you were pretty shot.

Unknown Speaker 32:07
Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 32:09
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. Because that sucks. It really does. I did it for two. I want to say the first two years. That's how I felt like the way you're the way you're talking. And then we got a pump, pump made things that they only made things a lot easier. And yeah, and I got her blood or you wouldn't see the move. That was the first time I got her a one C to move. Right? Because I was doing like eight and a half 981 C's for the first two years. Is that where you are in this for seven months? Do you or do you mind saying oh, gosh, I

Erin 32:37
don't remember. I think when he was diagnosed it was it was really high. It was like 12 Yeah. When we went back for the first time, I think it was in the nine.

Scott Benner 32:53
That just sounds right to be perfectly honest. Because you're, you're you're giving insulin after food. I think nines about the best you can hope for that situation. Do you perfect. Yes. Yeah.

Erin 33:02
Yes. So right. It really It wasn't until I think it was a little after we got the pump. And we kind of got our, our footing with all of that. I think we got the pump first. And then maybe like a month later, we got the the dexcom. And then we started to try bolusing beforehand, and just, you know, talking with him a lot more. And just opening up to all of that communication. You know that? Yes, you can have this, but I need to know that you're going to eat at least half. So I think that we probably started with, you know, bolusing for half beforehand, and then waiting to see if he would finish it and then bolusing the other half afterwards. But yes, the the getting the pump made things a lot better also. So when he was

Scott Benner 33:56
good, No, I was just gonna say that I I found my nerve with the Pre-Bolus thing early on, but something that I now consider to be the juice box theory, which was if I can Bolus for a juice box, then if I if she doesn't need a quick juice box will fit. Yeah, exactly. So and so I always think that way, even when I'm working on high numbers still today, if I look, if I look at a number that's stuck at like 180, let's say it's, I can't get it to move. And I think a unit is what she really needs to get this 180 down. There are times where I'll just bolts two units. And then because if we go low, we can bail out with some fast acting sugar. But if I if you kind of like you know nickel and dime the high blood sugar, it takes forever to come down. You know, and so you have and then what you realize if you do it a couple of times, wow, I thought I needed a unit. I really did you I did like need like 1.5 or 1.7. I never would have done that this that's how this blood sugar would have stayed at 180 all day. Yeah, you know, so and so. It's funny. It's something I've said in the podcast a number of times, but until I saw it Online, someone say oh, I, it's it's funny because I'm aware of myself being myself. But you don't realize it when you get outside out into the public. Like some people don't really know. I'm Scott, or they're just like, I listened to this podcast and this guy said this thing, you know, and I saw this woman say, it all changed for me when I realized I could just over Bolus for the, the amount of a juice box and then save it. save myself later if I needed to. Right I thought, wow, that's I said that. And this woman's talking like, this was like the, the combination of like, how, how it all worked out for and I realized that I stopped and thought about it. And I thought wow, that is really was such a big part of how I did it back then. I just wasn't thinking about telling it to somebody else at the time when I was doing it, you know? But yeah, I always think that like just until are you doing that more because you're he's five now and you've been through all this stuff? Is your a onesies? Are your blood sugar's Do you ride the roller coaster the way you used to? Or have you figured it out? Are you still, um,

Erin 36:00
I certainly wouldn't say that we figured it out, we have gotten to a point where we're able to not have as much of a roller coaster. And we're talking with him about what he eats when he eats. If his blood sugar is high, then we'll Bolus and we'll wait a little bit longer, sort of Pre-Bolus. And then maybe also suggest that you eat his proteins before he has carbs. And vice versa, you know, if his blood sugar is low, then Okay, we'll, I'll give maybe two gummies any fruit snacks that are his low treatment of choice? So

Scott Benner 36:41
if you throw that on, and then

Erin 36:44
yes, just you know, have maybe two of those will dose you for for your meal. And this is what we're having? Are you going to eat all of it? And that really has been that communication has been really key for us. And, you know, because in the middle of the meal if he says, Ah, you know, I really I don't think I want all this like, well, I asked you beforehand, you said that you would. So got to eat it. Okay,

Scott Benner 37:10
well, so do you. So when you get to that spot, like when he's like halfway through and he gets full? I mean, I think I've heard enough of what you said earlier, like when you tell him he's got to keep eating, that breaks your heart, right? You're not you don't want to tell him that you'd like to be able to tell him like Well, okay, stop eating if you're not hungry. But so do you ever consider just like shutting his bazel off for an hour to try to catch it that way? Like to trade the the Bolus for bazel? Kind of an idea? Are you not to that point, because that because that's what I would do if if, halfway through. And I if I gave her eight units for something, and she ate half of the food, and they might shut her bazel off for an hour. If she told me she wanted to stop eating and see what happens. Oh, God, me like, but that's

Erin 37:58
what we do. We do sometimes, but it's usually only when it seems like he's getting sick. Okay. Most of the time. He's, he's okay, eating whatever it is. there really hasn't hadn't been that many times when he's that, you know, halfway through a meal that I really don't want to finish it. And I'm not I'm certainly not going to force feed him.

Scott Benner 38:23
I just

Erin 38:25
said yes, I mean, we we have done that on occasion.

Scott Benner 38:28
Because that really ends up being first of all, I think that food ends up needing more insulin than you always think, you know, because people are so stuck and you know, I'll say it a million times I don't count carbs. I just look and I think this takes about this much. And let's get you know, get the insulin going ahead of the food. Add the food I heard somebody say online the other day the food works so much faster than the insulin I was like it's such a simple and yet powerful. Yeah, actually I have to do Arden's insulin right now hold on a second she pre long I had to say hello. So she was stuck. I put a new pump on at 930 she runs up to 170 we got it down she's 129 diagonal down right now. I believe that if I did nothing right now this 129 would continue on to at least 90 before level but I need a boss so I remember this morning putting a food in the bag and thinking this is like nine and a half years. So let's say 9.50 extend and then we're gonna do Hmm

Unknown Speaker 39:34
This is interesting, isn't it because

Erin 39:36
I think the last This is really interesting hearing somebody else do I think the

Scott Benner 39:39
last bolus is acting as a Pre-Bolus for me right now. I think she's gonna keep falling over the next 20 minutes. So extend Here we go. zero percent now and the rest over half an hour. So by the time she sits down by the time she sits down two thirds of the Insulin will be in the very first bit will be active. And I think she should be around at when she starts eating. Oh, and you and I are still going to be on when that happens. So that'll be interesting. We can we can check me. Of course now of course not. She's not answering. So now I have to go with okay and the question mark and then she's gonna be like, I have to answer you every time I saw something like that'll happen. More interesting as she gets older Eric, by the way. Oh, personalities coming.

Unknown Speaker 40:35
I'm not ready for this.

Scott Benner 40:37
Yeah, we have a boy so he might just be an idiot instead of a pain in the butt. If you're lucky.

Unknown Speaker 40:46
Because here we are currently

Erin 40:48
sure did trending up for some reason.

Scott Benner 40:50
Now see, now what do you That's interesting. So he's at school is five you can't text? Well, you could text with him, but

Erin 40:57
I text. Good grief. Okay, yeah.

Scott Benner 41:00
So what do you want to do here? So tell me what what's happened. His blood sugar is what? You know, there's some things in life you just don't think can get better. Pizza? Ice cream, right? You just think of pizza and ice cream. You think pizza is perfect. Ice cream is fantastic. You know those days when there's no humidity, and it's like in the 70s. You walk around, there's some nice sun, but it's not too strong. And you think why can't the weather be like this every day? It's perfect. You know what else used to be like that? I thought Dexcom I used to think this thing is fantastic. He couldn't get any better. It couldn't get any sweeter. It couldn't get any warmer. But then it did. And the Dexcom g six, it arrived like a sunny day. It washed over me like that feeling you get when the salt of the pizza hits you. When the sweetness of the ice cream melts in your mouth. Next calm JSX is new. It is way improved. And I didn't think that was possible. But it is it is better than the last model. It is more accurate. It works right away on day one without any kind of like, Oh, you know, sometimes people say whether g five like it, I don't really completely trust it on the first day, boom, right away. Auto insertion. it's painless auto insertion, I mean, legit, painless auto insertion. And it takes two seconds, you just, I don't even know you put the inserter thing on, stick it to yourself, you push the button, it's over. And then magically, the number pops up. And that's your blood sugar. Somehow Dexcom made ice cream sweeter, they made a warm, beautiful day feel better. And now all you need to do to enjoy those things. Go to dexcom.com forward slash juicebox.

Erin 42:56
So we have the Dexcom connected to my phone. I have a Pebble watch, which I wish that they were going to still make those but they don't. And my husband set up a Raspberry Pi display. Excuse me for our kitchen counter. Okay, cool. So, while we've been talking, I've been glancing at the Raspberry Pi. And I shouldn't have been glancing at my texts from the school nurse. So she and I text all day long. His classroom is literally right across the hall from her office. And which I'm extremely grateful for that he doesn't have to wander all around the school. She goes in to his classroom they the kindergarten class just eats there in the classroom. And she'll go in and check his blood sugar text me what his blood sugar was. And for snack and lunch and afternoon snack. Text me or how much she's giving. And if there any if there's any sort of change that I suggest and I'll send her you know that whatever changes and she's in the taxi you come back she said 135 before snack 18 carbs point nine units. milkshake is a hit. I sent the was it called the fair life milk shake. A little little one in the in the bottle. Okay, next complete four minute snack. I think that's a record. So he's trending up now. We haven't had this milkshake in a while. And I honestly did not remember what it does, but I think it's a if he drank it pretty quickly, it's

Scott Benner 44:44
gonna hit a little fast. And so so did she was it because you weren't responding to her texts or does she not Pre-Bolus and does she do it after he eats still?

Erin 44:53
No she she Pre-Bolus is that there's not usually much of a Pre-Bolus There's not a whole lot of time between the when she gets the insulin and when he starts eating the snack.

Scott Benner 45:05
How positive Are you of when that snacks gonna happen? Like was like 135 and a milkshake coming? I mean, you could have Pre-Bolus. And he could have started drinking that milkshake when he was 90 and you would have been still really kind of golden, I think.

Erin 45:24
Right? Yeah.

Scott Benner 45:26
But is it does it? Does it always happen at the same time the snack

Erin 45:30
around the same time? They're they're usually not usually they're there sometimes, you know, program that happens at school that delays the snack.

Scott Benner 45:39
So is that something you're comfortable doing at home? But you haven't you can't translate to school just quite yet like the at home At home at a 135 at home. If he was going to have waited waited, you would have like gotten his butcher going, going to write it down. And then you would have liked to introduce the milkshake at that point.

Erin 45:56
Yes, we would have waited, I would say maybe 10 minutes, or actually it was it winds up being a little bit longer. Because usually what we do is I give him the insulin, and we set a timer. And then I asked him to go to a party and wash his hands. And so that's, you know, kind of a Slowpoke. I love him. But he is.

Scott Benner 46:17
But that's good. Because it gives you time and he doesn't feel like he's being restricted to that one.

Erin 46:20
Yes, it just kind of build it in.

Scott Benner 46:23
Yeah, that's fine. That's really good. I love the way you think about that. Because if you if you give it a little consideration ahead of time, then it's not a situation where he's sitting there staring at this milkshake going. Well, yeah, I can't believe I have to wait for me to work because that sucks, right? You know, and that's where you cause conflicts with food, too. Yeah, well, and so if you can just give it that kind of consideration, I do try to do that as well. And I think that I do it more than I talk about probably. But you know, just the idea of getting things going in the right direction before because you don't know how it's been a while since we talked about on the podcast. But this whole thing, at its very basic level is the balancing of, of the insulin in the carbs, right like so. I think of it as a tug of war between the carbs and the insulin. And you don't want either side to pull first. Because if you do, then their momentum is going to win, you're never going to, you know, if you if you get into a tug of war match, and you let the other side pull first, even for just a couple of seconds, they're gonna yank you off center, and you're going to spend the whole time fighting hopefully to get back, but you're probably going to get pulled on your button to lose, right. And if you dump if you have nine more people run behind you start pulling, all you're going to do is yank them over and you're going to end up being 20 feet farther, the new one to be back again. And, and so you can't just need to start equally, you need and the way that happens at the moment with the way insulin works is you have to get the insulin in and get it active. So that when the food starts working, that tug of war happens and both are pulling at the same time. And it's it's I guess easier said than done maybe much more easy with a dexcom CGM being able to look at the data. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how you would I don't know how you are helpless that honestly, it's, it's, um, it's, it's it but at the same time, you could, because you're thinking about it in a five year old, right, like in a person who might stop eating who but but people who are a little older have a little more body size adults, we use that you'll see in a couple of years that you won't even care about the data that's on your Dexcom as much because you'll you'll you know how to expect what it's doing. Which is an interesting thing. Like you'll eventually just know what's happening, like, and so because everything you heard me do with Arden's Pre-Bolus isn't based on anything, except except my knowledge of this like, right, it's not like I used math or or, you know, science or anything I just looked and I said, Okay, this is what's happening. I know what I did, here's what I expect to continue to happen. If I do this with the new Bolus, I expect it to do that. And then I have to trust the time and she's actually going to go sit down, eat, maybe with a five year old, that would be scary with a 13 year old, it's not as scary. If it was a doll, it's not as scary. There's plenty of people out in the world, who are doing things like this with with pens and nothing else. But they're also comfortable in that in that space. It's almost like I always tell people when you're negotiating for something that you know, whoever after after an ask is made whoever speaks first loses. So if I say to you, I want to pay $1,000 less for this car. And you're the salesperson, if you speak first you're going to say okay, if I speak first I'm giving up. And so and so that's kind of a basic kind of concept of that. And I think the same thing, sort of about all this, like you know you have it, how do you not speak first in that situation? You have to be really comfortable in the in the uncomfortable silence. And so if you can be uncomfortable and then not knowing what your blood sugar's about to do, you can still do these things. Okay, you tested 135 and didn't have a CGM and you thought I'm going to eat 10 minutes from now i'm going to give myself my insulin now nine times out of 1099 times out of 100, that's going to be okay. And so that's the other side of it, which is you can't let the data you can't let your knowledge of what might happen once this month stop you from doing it the other 29 days. And I think that you and people who are newer to it can get stuck in that spot a little bit like,

Unknown Speaker 50:29
I can do that. You know, I'm

Scott Benner 50:30
saying designer, that was a long way to say that, but, but I wonder if that makes sense is like sometimes, you know, I don't know if you you know, I don't know what there's a million different ways to say you walk out your back door 100 times you never trip and the one time you trip, you now know you might trip on that step. It doesn't stop you from walking outside ever again. Right? But But sometimes you see one bad low, and then everyone backs off. And I'm like, No, don't back off. Assume there might be one bad low every hundred days. Right? You just built build in your plan for that. Don't let that make you comfortable with higher blood sugars to begin with. Not that you're doing that right now. But it just made me think of that. So and this podcast is nothing but a stream of consciousness. So

Erin 51:12
that's okay. You're gonna

Scott Benner 51:13
say things when they come up. But yeah, I think that there's, there's a million there's I listen, that sounds perfect. For me. I think what I get out of it is amazing. But I do see where sometimes it scares people. And and that's where you have to have the nerve to live in the silence a little bit like,

Erin 51:28
you think that it scares people because of how much data it is?

Scott Benner 51:33
Well, I'm not sure that's that way. For some people. I just mean, like, once you've seen a low happen in front of you, I wonder, then some people are just like, Okay, I'm just gonna, I'll err on the side of caution. Again, I'm saying, once you've learned how to balance the insulin, you're and you're bold about it. If you get one low, like truth allow, but but don't let that change what you did, because you had one low in hundreds, if not thousands of diabetes decisions over the last month, one time you got like, Don't Don't make your decisions off of that make your decisions on other stuff.

Erin 52:06
I definitely agree that having the dexcom has made me able to be more bold about especially at night about dosing insulin and to bring down an impending high or a high and, you know, trying to make the decision whether to Bolus or set an increase. And that definitely has helped. And actually, right now I'm texting his nurse to set an increase on his pump

Scott Benner 52:33
for his tablet like a Temp Basal increase. Yes, like a half hour an hour. What will you do?

Erin 52:38
I'm probably going to do half an hour.

Scott Benner 52:42
Just because the milkshake got a little ahead of you know, yeah,

Unknown Speaker 52:45
that's very good.

Unknown Speaker 52:46
That's excellent. Or straight up.

Scott Benner 52:49
See now, I'll tell you, little kids obviously different. I mean, the way you think about it, the minute Arden after food, if she's 130. And heading up, eyeball is more. That's when I start that's when I start thinking about stopping the arrow. Because Because, you know, and and will that bite me in the butt. Sometimes every once in a while. I'll see like, one hour straight up, and I'm like, ah, more insulin. And then five minutes later, it levels off and I go, ooh, oh. Oops. Well, no, no, I just did I'll just trade out the bazel. Like, so I don't bolus enough that I can't get out of it didn't really mean so like, say I put in another young like 135 straight up what has happened, another unit, where most people are like, really? And I'm like, Yes. And then it goes to 138. It levels right off. And I'm like, ooh, I wonder if that would have just happened anyway, without the bullets it would have. But Arden's basal rate is 1.5 or 1.15 for an hour. So right now I'm just going to shut off for an hour. Do you have any idea how many how often 20 minutes later, I have to turn it back on again. Like Like it's it's that it happens more frequently. I think for the most part, people are using less insulin than they need to be. And so once you start using more, you'll be surprised how often nothing bad actually happens. Then you go Oh gosh, this is the amount of insulin I supposed to be using. Right. I'm airing airing erring on the side of caution. I should be that I need this since one here. But like right now, so she's it's one. Let me take a look here. So I told you I thought she was gonna continue to drift down off of the bullets that I gave her an hour ago. That was an 1123 it is 13 minutes later. She's four minutes away from eating and her blood sugar's now 111 diagonal down. And so 13 minutes in is half so nine and a half units. So basically four and a quarter of the units are in her now. And they're going to start activating soon. You know, they're going to start actually working soon but I've got the bullets from from getting the 160 or the 170 down to where it is. Now I've got these 15, you know, this half of this 4.2 is in it starting to work. In the next five or seven minutes, the rest of the other 4.2 is going to be in, she'll start eating, the first 4.2 is going to start working, she'll put in more food, the other 4.2 will start working. And by noon, she's going to be at five. And that's and, and it's not magic, right, and I'm not a guru, it's just, it's just, it's just, you just have to pay attention to it, like, you know, look and see, I did this, this happened, if I would have done this, I bet that would have happened, and then just sort of go with that it's just a very basic, it really is a basic formula. It's, it's if if that then this if then you know, and that's pretty much it. Like there's, there's not a lot to it. If you can see it, obviously, and if you can trust a little bit and and I think that's the best advice I got

Erin 55:58
on mobile learning to trust the Dexcom more, it's taken me it feels to me, like forever to get here to be able to trust it. But

Scott Benner 56:06
you have to I say to people all the time, you have to be able to believe that what you know is going to happen is going to happen. Right? And it's a it's a it's a BS kind of statement. But but it but it's true. Like, you know, I do this, she eats this, she goes up. The next time I do that I can't go well, what if it doesn't happen this time? You can't do that. You have to say it's going to happen. And the one time it doesn't happen, you go Hmm, I didn't happen. But I think that, but that's very infrequently. You know, once you just have to learn historically, like, I know this is going to happen. And then but then the next step, like you said, is trusting yourself and actually doing it then. Right. So and you're getting to that spot. So what what do you consider, like after he eats? What's a blood sugar that you're now like? I've really botched this? Because before you were at 400 going, you know when he was first, you know when he was first tournament? What does that number for you now where you go, Oh, I wish this would have went better.

Erin 57:06
Now it's a lot more about the direction and speed, I guess. So we have his Dexcom parameters, at least, we've actually got it set a couple of different ways, like on my phone and the Raspberry Pi are set at slightly different levels. Because when grandmothers come to watch him, we need for the low alert to be at 100. So to give them a little bit more time to check just because they're not as familiar with everything. So but on my phone, I've got things set, the low is at the highest 170. And I'm I'm constantly looking at it before then. And just kind of judging Okay, you know, he's at 150. Is it? Are we going up quickly? Or is it leveling out? Whatever? And then, you know, from there trying to decide what to do next.

Scott Benner 58:03
Do you? Could I at some point talk you into on the weekends changing the 170 to 130 or 140? Yeah, I think we could probably do that pretty soon. Because Because here's the thing, and I know you're not doing this, but if you give it You're giving me the opportunity to say it out loud. Nothing makes me crazier than to see people say, Oh, I have the high level on my Dexcom set it for 100. Because I don't want that thing beeping all the time.

Unknown Speaker 58:29
Oh, gosh.

Scott Benner 58:30
I'm just like, Oh, wait, why'd I The other day I saw it. I found myself thinking Imagine if you had a I don't know a problem in your house with carbon monoxide. And you had a carbon monoxide alarm that you could either have it go off when it you know now when you can do something about it or later when you're going to pass out and die in your house. And you think well, I don't want to hear all that beeping. And so so you know, your problem is you have a carbon monoxide problem your house you need to you need to fix it, fix it, like maybe your fingers dirty or whatever it ends up being to say that you have an alarm that's meant to tell you something that you don't want to tell you something right even ignore is insane. And so and so what people do is they use Well, I use my Dexcom for Lowe's. And and I'm like, Yeah, but you get the lows. Because of the highs. I heard somebody say it the other day, it made so much sense highs cause lows, because eventually you dump on this insane amount of insulin and you get low. So never get high never have to use all that insulin. Right? And so when when your blood sugar's 121 30, you go, Oh, let me just bump a little bit here and it comes right back again. But if you wait until it's at, you know, 250 you're already in the fight. And for you, I think 170 puts you into the fight too, because of how little he is, though. Right? And so if you, you know, not that you'd want to, and I think this, I think that when you react at a lower number, people might think that that sounds like a lot of work. I think it's less work.

Erin 1:00:00
I agree and I yes. And I think it's it's taken us a while to sort of step down. I don't even know what the what the phrase is for that. But to realize that, yeah, that we can go ahead and act a little more quickly at a at a lower number with less. What do you how do you balance though? The exercise? Because he has, you know, recess some days he has PE and then he'll have a second recess?

Scott Benner 1:00:27
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, it's easier now that she's older, obviously. But I've also put a lot of effort in the past and the like going in, in the summertime before the year and going, look, please don't give me Jim right after right before lunch, you know, like, or something like that what she had last year, we were Pre-Bolus. And while she was out, she had recess before lunch last year. So we were pretty ballsy while she was outside. But she doesn't have any more. It's funny, I mean, to say something completely, that's gonna sound ridiculous. But I don't really think about the exercise that much anymore. I just, I just continue to do what we're doing, then. And so if you need less insulin, or more carbs, or whatever it is, we just keep going. I mean, it's recess at school, she's not climbing a mountain, you don't mean like she's outside running around throwing frisbees at a target or something silly like that for gym class. But if you have a kid who just a little bit of exercise makes them come down, yeah, then you need to, I would set up a Temp Basal, you know, the 40 a half hour or hour, but however, your insulin works for you, prior prior to bring his bazel down so that he doesn't have a ton of active bazel while he's a gym,

Unknown Speaker 1:01:39
or a reasonable.

Scott Benner 1:01:41
And, and I would try that first. There's been other things, you know, we had the one year where no matter what we did, it was just that time of day, where she was going to be lower. And so she would just get to the gym and like pop a couple of fruit snacks and go to gym. Right? You know, like, I think you just have to look at the specific situation. I think there's a big there's a big feeling that there are static answers to any of these questions. Okay, I think within the the community, everybody's like, tell me what to do. And I think it stems from the 15 carbs 15 minutes walk,

Erin 1:02:18
I was, I was gonna say exact same thing, which is

Scott Benner 1:02:20
his bowl. It just, it just, it just, it makes people think that there's rules for things. So when you add so when you ask me, What would I do for this, what I would do for this is keep your blood sugar and range. But But and but I would use the multitude of tools that I have to make that happen Temp Basal, a little bit of carbs. You know, just like thinking ahead a little bit about it, you know, and and these devices. The next upgrade you see to like I know about ami pod I know about Dexcom. And I don't know that we're allowed to speak specifically about everything. But there are going to be multiple bazel rate days coming up for people like it's not just going to be like you're going to be able to weekdays bazel rates and week that you'll be able to have a Monday base or a Tuesday off or you're going to be on Dexcom you're going to be able to set I want to have alarms here on at this time of day. And

Erin 1:03:18
that's what been one of the things Yes, that we've been we love that account. Absolutely.

Scott Benner 1:03:23
A little more user definable. Right. And so I really believe that that is coming. And so and once that comes stuff like that gets easier, because because then you get to say, you know, I know he has Jim on Tuesdays at 11. So on Tuesdays starting at nine, I want to know when is blood sugars this instead of this. And then when it gets to that I'm going to cut this bezel off for 50% for an hour or, or whatever, or you know, you know, I've had arting Chapa Jim and her blood sugar's at. And I go like, dude, you know what you're doing? And she's like, I don't know, we're playing, you know, this. I'm like, Okay, well, that sounds anaerobic. Shut your Basal off for a half hour.

Unknown Speaker 1:03:59
Yeah, you know,

Scott Benner 1:04:00
and just let's try to let's try to get lucky here. Like, like, I don't plan for disaster, I plan for success. And and so I just think that that's a in the end, once you've got the tools, right, you know how to use them. You can't plan for something to go wrong. Like if you just stop and think about your whole life. All the decisions you've made. You wouldn't own a home, you wouldn't have a car. If you plan for disaster. Nothing, nothing good. Whatever happened. Yeah, yeah, you let the fear stop you. Yeah, you just always be curled up with your hands up thinking somebody's gonna punch me in the head. I just want to cover my face. You need to want you need to want to get hit. You need like you need to run into it not not not shy away from it. So I think that my answer is I would just do what you've learned and make your good adjustments along the way. And you'll and maybe it'll go wrong one day, and then you'll and then you'll say, Oh, I did this. I should have done that. And then you're back to that that equation of I did this this happen. Next time I'll do this and before you know it, those experience As pile up in a way that you just start making these adjustments like mindlessly almost you don't even think about it anymore. You just like I talked through Arden's bolus because you were with me and we're recording the podcast but right, I never would have done that. Like I would have just, I would have just given to the bolus really quickly and told her do you think Yeah, and right now she's 102. And I'm still on a diagonal downtrend. So she's actually a little higher than I thought right now. But I can see the bend in the Dexcom line is starting to come around like it's gonna go off in a second. But as soon as it tries to level off, the rest of the Bolus is going to kick in. So my goal is I want her blood sugar to continue to go down over the next 10 minutes. You know, I think some people would hear well one of the two this is this is amazing, you know, and I'm saying no, because here's the thing you don't know. me get a drink. In Arden's bag today is a grab bag of Doritos. A full a full size banana, a half of a bagel, a giant bag of grapes, a carrot and yodels. You don't eat that stuff and have diabetes unless you are unless you are being bold with insulin. Okay, so you need to you need to like be you need to push to make that happen. I brokenhearted last night saw online, woman's kids poor kids graphs all over the place. You know, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. One person comes in and says just feed him low carbs. And he'll be fine. And I was like, oh, that wasn't what she was asking. You know, like, I

Erin 1:06:36
don't care. In fact, a big, big topic in our community.

Scott Benner 1:06:39
And I don't care if people want to do low carb. They absolutely can. But I agree. But don't be like, hey, let's wait. Don't forget, push it even like, Let's wait till she understands what she's doing here. And once she understands it, if she wants to do low carb, that's fine. But you're basically telling her, this isn't doable with insulin. But it is it's simply do I'm doing it right now in front of you. And so and so it's very doable. And if she if she learns the right steps, and and it and she doesn't want to do it, then she she should try low carb, but she wants to try look arbitrary anything else she wants to try?

Erin 1:07:15
I'll completely agree with with that statement. Yes.

Scott Benner 1:07:18
First understand how this works

Erin 1:07:20
exactly as we are. I think that low carb has been a good thing for a lot of people. But I really want to get to a point where if he wants to go out with his friends when he's 14, and they're going to go to a pizza place, then he knows how to handle it and can bolus appropriately. And if he later on decides that he wants to do low carb or either thing cool. Okay, good. Sorry. I just I saw that there was a little icon that was suddenly gone from my screen, that if he decides to go low carb later on, and it's his choice, then that's fine, too,

Scott Benner 1:08:02
right? But I always worry like, what if you don't teach somebody how to use insulin, and then you're able, you're controlling them because they're a kid. I mean, it's so easy to control a kid, right? Like, you just give them the food, they don't have a job, they don't have a car, they're pretty screwed about buying food on their own. So you don't see if you if you do it, then they'll do it. But what happens if they go to college, and they're just like, I'm not doing this. And now they have no tools and no perspective and no historical data to help them make these decisions. So if once you understand it, that's fine. The problem isn't that the problem is that nobody teaches you this stuff. Like, you know, nobody tells you, the insulin isn't like a light switch. They just give it to you, you know. And once you understand how to use it, then it's a different situation, you might still struggle with it. Or maybe you can't find the courage, like we talked a lot about that today, like the courage to just sort of do it. Maybe you're maybe you're the person who the anxiety ran you over or you got depressed and you can't dig your way out of it now, like I get all that maybe you need to do something drastic to level things out. I gotta tell you, I have some speaking engagements coming up, Aaron, I'm gonna be on low carb pretty soon. Because I need to get rid of a little bit of what I'm seeing here is a double chin. And so but but but you know, but so everybody's different. But overall, when you're just talking about people, we're just trying to figure it out who aren't burdened by these other billion things that could come up with diabetes. Right? Let's let's try to help those people first. You know, and we're way over an hour, but I want you to talk for a minute about you because you said you want to go back to it and I never I never did. Did you? Did you find yourself depressed after his diagnosis?

Erin 1:09:45
Yeah, absolutely. It really honestly. I didn't even know that I was depressed. And I have to say that it wasn't even until this past May That I kind of came to terms with, you know, I was having panic attacks. And I honestly didn't know what was going on. And it was a pressure that I put on myself for, you know, trying to do all of this, right and perfectly. And that's laughable because it's not perfect it is, as you have illustrated, it is doable. And you can have excellent numbers and eat the things that you want to eat and do the activities that you want to do. But it's not perfect. Right. Right. And it's not going to be perfect. It's never going to be perfect. Yes,

Scott Benner 1:10:47
absolutely. I I don't think I said, say this enough. So let me just be clear about this. Like it said, at the beginning of the podcast, I had a bad sight that i i bet on too long. And so in the last 24 hours, well, now it's been for the last year, like, everything's been fine now in the last three hours, but the 24 hours prior to that I didn't have Arden's blood sugar under 130 once, and we were always stuck at 150 or 180. And we were boasting like crazy and nothing was working. We so should have bailed on the pump sooner, and we didn't. But But, you know, it was an entire day where it just didn't go well. Right. And I don't I can't imagine if that happened. I didn't have the tools that I had. And then it happened again, the next day, how quickly it would, I would think to myself, well, I guess this is what it is. Right? Then you're still stuck with that feeling of I don't want this for my kid or myself. And then the anxiety starts to pile on because you don't know how to do it. And then you get depressed because it's not working. And it is something like when you're thinking about this stuff, like let's not like lose sight of what what it is you're considering as as, as a mother, you're, it's you're you're thinking about the short and long term health of your child. Like it's not just numbers, you know, so panic, how did the panic attacks kind of show themselves what what would happen?

Erin 1:12:06
It was really random, I was on the way to pick up my daughter from her school, and driving in the car, and I drove past sign that showed the date. And I just I started crying. And it was there, the date has no relevance whatsoever. It sounds really, really weird coming from my mouth right now.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:30
And you were just like September 30.

Erin 1:12:35
May 9, I pulled up into the car line to pick up my daughter. And I couldn't stop crying. And I've you know, I've been realizing that you know, okay, this is this is not normal. And I was in the middle of texting my husband. And I'm going to say, you know, I think I need to go see a therapist. And it's just really weird. Some of the things of thoughts that cross your mind your mind anyway. And that will you know, I don't need to do that right now. I don't want to interrupt his day, he's going to worry. And you know, I can hold off. I'll just talk to him tonight. And one of my friends who was in the car, a couple of cars ahead of me got out of her car and came over to me and I rolled down my window and she just asked Are you okay? I had to say no. Sitting you're pretty sure I'm pretty sure I'm not Yeah, bawling my eyes out over I don't even know what may 9 obviously,

Unknown Speaker 1:13:37
night. Yeah,

Erin 1:13:39
exactly. And I you know, just really thank her for coming in, you know, trying to see how I was doing. And as soon as I rolled my window back up, I sent my husband the text, because I said okay, well, obviously, if people are getting out of their cars and carline is to ask him I'm doing I am not okay.

Scott Benner 1:13:59
I'm not holding this together nearly. And so what I did was how much value Did you find in Did you go to therapy at some point then?

Erin 1:14:08
I did. Yes. I went to my primary care doctor, I think maybe just a couple of days after that and described to him, you know what was going on. And he went ahead and prescribed Lexapro, which I'm not ashamed to admit, it's, I've gotten back to feeling like me. And from there, I found a therapist. And that has really helped. And just, I have to say that you talked about reaching out. And going through all of that. being diagnosed with depression. and communicating with the diabetes online community has all been part and parcel for me knowing I am not alone in this, which you had mentioned earlier, too, it is so incredibly powerful. Just knowing that there's somebody else out there who has dealt with this, and is dealing with this, and that you've done this for years now, and you are looking at her numbers, and you are being able to more finely tune what you're doing. And you're teaching her to do that. And you're passing that on. Knowing that you've been there where I am, is so, so powerful. And I want to I mean, that's the reason I wanted to come on the podcast in the first place, is to just let your listeners know that they are not alone. There is always somebody out there who is willing to listen, and who has experienced a very similar things. And who can relate. And dealing with all of this is enough. You know, the the constant highs and lows, the questioning, am I doing this right? What do we need to do next? All that is those decisions every single day. That's enough, no one should ever have to feel like they're alone, dealing with that on top of everything that they have to do.

Scott Benner 1:16:20
Well, I'm very glad you found the other people because it is it is easily the most important step to the whole thing. It just to see somebody doing it ahead of you. gives you the feeling like it's doable.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:33
Yeah, you know, so

Scott Benner 1:16:34
instead of this massive, uncountable number of uncertainties ahead, it's okay, here's a lot of stuff I have to overcome. But apparently it works. It happens for people, you know, so there's no reason to think it can't happen for me too.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:47
Yeah, exactly. Instead

Scott Benner 1:16:48
of the opposite, which is I'm never going to overcome any of this, this is all going to end in a giant trash fire. And I'm going to kill and I'm gonna kill my kid. Right. So, which is really probably the pressure that you were feeling, you know, and it's, it's, you know, it's overwhelming to think that you're just your one voice, but that this happens to so many people. And, you know, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that at one point, I was overwhelmed as well. You know, nobody told me I didn't get a diagnosis or anything like that. But I know for sure that I was crying in the shower a lot. So that that probably isn't okay. And, and so I don't know, it's just, it's, it's really I have to thank you so much for sharing that because it I think it is the conversations like this are the ones that are the most valuable to people. Because, you know, not enough people are open enough about something like this. So

Erin 1:17:41
we really well, and I really, I really feel like that a lot of the caregiver situation is often overlooked, because we're so focused on trying to care for our kids. Yeah. That, you know, like they say, in the on the airlines, and you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. And it's really true. Because if, if I can't get my head together, in order to be there for my son to teach him, you know, what he needs to do and to help, you know, to manage his blood sugar day to day, then I'm not helping him.

Scott Benner 1:18:16
Yeah, it's, it's, it's being so incredibly like, focused today. But burning yourself out, then what was the point of that? Like, what was it's almost like the no carb? Like not eating carbs thing? Like, okay, sure. Today, it's okay. But what about tomorrow? Right, you know, and you have to plan. This is a this is a long term thing. You have to plan big. You don't I mean, you can't you can't just worry about today. You it's it's got to be, you know, whatever the it's a it's a What is it? It's a it's not a sprint, you know,

Erin 1:18:47
that whole marathon, not a sprint, right? So if we have a lot of things in the diabetic community,

Scott Benner 1:18:54
these things are all very helpful. And at the same time, I don't know if you know, I saw But well, let me say goodbye. First. I'll tell you one other thing that because we've been going on so long, I have to actually stop the recording. So

Erin 1:19:05
I there's one more thing I do want to do is that if you don't mind me plugging, I started after this diagnosis, depression. And I started up a blog called Sugar Rush survivors with a friend of mine, who was diagnosed in her 30s. And we just really want to be able to provide kind of a counterpoint of an adult dealing with type one and parent of a child with type one. And just the discussions that we've had together because we we came together, we didn't know each other before. We kind of bonded over type one. And we both learned a lot from talking to each other. She didn't have a pod or Dexcom before we started talking and I've learned from her how a lot of things feel because You know, my son wasn't able to tell me all of that. And so we want to be able to bring that sort of reaching out, you know that, just that saying that you know that you're not alone and being a being someplace where people can go to read, you know, what our experiences have been read linking to resources like your podcast, and just showing that there are other people out here dealing with this and Friday.

Scott Benner 1:20:32
That's excellent. I'll put links in the show notes to it so people can find it, maybe I can get you to write a blog post

Erin 1:20:38
for my blog middle, I would love to

Scott Benner 1:20:41
talk a little more about it. Well, thank you very much for coming on. And

Erin 1:20:45
thank you for having me.

Scott Benner 1:20:47
My pleasure. I'm gonna stop the recording. And then I'm gonna tell you one more. You can check out Aaron's blog at Sugar Rush survivor's calm, there is a link in the show notes and she is going to write a guest piece for ardens.com. Thank you so much to Dexcom and Omni pod for sponsoring the podcast. There are three very important things that bring you this podcast every week. Sponsorship that allows me the time to do it. And you guys sharing the show with other people so that it continues to grow. Guys, listen to you understand that what you're listening to today was probably recorded five months ago, right? At this point, the podcast is become so popular, I have a lot of episodes, what they call

Unknown Speaker 1:21:26
in the can.

Scott Benner 1:21:28
So I'm going to slow down on my recordings in the summer. Don't worry, the show will still happen every week. But I'm not going to record as many so I can make the time between when recordings happen and when they're aired less. But I'm going to pick right back up in the fall September October and be recording in earnest. So if you're thinking about being on the podcast, now's a great time to reach out and get that ball rolling so we can get you scheduled. Thank you so much for listening for sharing for the great reviews on iTunes. And I'll be back next week with another show. Do you want to find out what next week is on?

Unknown Speaker 1:22:03
Hold on.

Scott Benner 1:22:05
Let me luck. I think next week is going to be Sam. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Sam. Alright, that's it, I'm babbling. I do have a fantastic joke about a three legged pig but this thing's already an hour and 22 minutes long. It's gonna have to wait for another day.


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Arden is wearing am Omnipod and a Dexcom G6 in this photo. Her Bg is 86 and she is on her way to the formal. To learn more about these devices use the links just above this picture. 

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!