What's not as hard as it may seem? Letting go...
Arden was diagnosed at such a young age that it was impossible in the early days for her to have any real responsibilities regarding her day-to-day care but it has always been our goal to transfer tasks to her as she is ready. We do so all of the time. I like the slow matriculation because it allows Arden to take on more without feeling as if things are being dumped on her. I pass on a new role in her care often without her noticing, things normalize after a little time and then that level becomes her new understanding of life.
Before long Arden found herself doing things she once thought impossible, she makes decisions that she probably didn't think she had the understanding to tackle and I can see her grasp of diabetes concepts grow by the day, month and year. One thing that took longer for her to become comfortable with than I expected, changing her insulin pump. I've felt for some years that she could change her Omnipod with ease and I even could see in her eyes that she held the same belief, but no matter how many times I tried to get her to do it... she just couldn't make the leap and anxiety would get the best of her.
There have a have been a few times when she has been forced by circumstances to change her own pod but those events were not exactly without drama.
This weekend brought a huge leap forward for Arden, but that leap didn't happen completely organically, I had to orchestrated the moment just a little bit.
Arden spent the night, armed with her new Dexcom SHARE, at her cousins house for a sleep over. Her Omnipod was scheduled to expire mid-morning the next day. I initially thought to change the site twelve hours early to avoid a conflict with Arden being away from home - but then it hit me. I thought, "I know she can do this without anyone physically with her, she may just need a little of my help". I imagined that we may need to FaceTime so that I could provide support and comfort during the process.
The opportunity presented itself when Arden's BG became stubborn the next morning, it was clear that it was time to change her site. We were bolusing and temp basaling but her BG wasn't budging.
I texted Arden and said that she should clear a space in her Aunt's dining room, get her supplies together and then FaceTime me when she was ready to begin.
I waited for a few minutes and didn't receive any communication, I was beginning to wonder if Arden was going to be able to summon the courage to change a pod on her own for the first time without me or Kelly present. I still had plenty of faith in her so I went about my business and assumed she'd call when she was reading to begin.
But a few moments later, seriously it was just a few minutes, I received these pictures from Arden's Aunt.
Turns out that Arden wasn't talking herself out of it or bereft of hope, she was busy filling the syringe, choosing a site and injecting her canula like a boss.
As you can see in the pictures Arden, besides being super cute, is a person who trusts herself and is completely capable. It seems as if my being with her in the past during site changes might have been be more of a crutch, than that of support.
Without someone there to bail her out, Arden showed no signs of self doubt as she moved swiftly and precisely through the steps of changing her Omnipod insulin pump and did it just as fast and as well as I could have.
After a few more site changes I'll going to begin to include Arden, even more than I do now, in the conversations that I have in my head about insulin dosing and BG management. So much of what I do is not based on math, it's mostly a feeling I get based on trends and recent history. Passing this knowledge on is going to take time and I think it is only going to happen through a lot of repetition - I know that's how I learned all of this.
#DiabetesAndFear don't have to go together! #BeBold #EveryTenYearOldSHouldSleepInAClerksShirt