Hoping vs Living
Scott Benner
I want type I diabetes to be cured. I hope in my heart that it happens in time to benefit Arden, but I do not spend time hoping for a cure. I try not to confuse hoping with hope, though it's difficult on some days not to.
This morning while I was doing maintenance on Arden's Day, I noticed that a Google user found my blog by searching the phrase, "how close is a cure for type 1 diabetes" and my heart ached for them.
If you are that person, or more likely, if you are a person who has diabetes or loves someone who has diabetes...
Please know that I have felt like that too. I've wondered in my mind, cried out loud and franticly searched the internet for the answer to the only riddle that matters. I think that it is immensely normal to hope and thoroughly human to fight for that hope to become your reality. I relate to the feeling that would lead you to a web browser. I know how difficult it was to type your query.
You are not alone. I understand. I know what it feels like to want to blur the line between hope and the grand amount of fortitude that is required from you every day - I know that you need a break. The only advice that I can lend with confidence is the advice that works for me. Don't give up. There is nothing worse than giving up. Fight. Try to be hopeful without hoping. Be strong when you are anything but. How do you do that? You don't give up. When that doesn't work... when you drift away from reality and hoping seems like a great place to escape to for a little while... Find someone who understands, let them lend you the strength that you need.
There is an entire community of diabetes advocates online that understands how you feel. Find them. They are on Twitter, FaceBook, they write blogs - find them.
Another great place to meet people is on the DSMA twitter chat that happens every Wednesday night at 9pm EST. It's run by a wonderful woman named Cherise and is a great place to meet other people just like you. Learn more about DSMA at this link.
We don't live with diabetes, diabetes lives with us. We have the power. On the days that it feels otherwise, find someone who understands because nothing is more powerful or more renewing than community.